Zen Hodgepodge

The Towers Of Hanoi 3D

2009-12-17T00:15:00.000-08:00

An update of The Towers Of Hanoi, this time in full 3D. Requires Windows with .NET Framework 3.5.

I updated this yet again on 12/19 to include collision detection during the drag and drop part, and to include the source, if developers would like to review it. It should be fairly instructive for some.

Towers Of Hanoi 3D

(Note: I used Charles Petzold's libraries to generate the disks and pegs, and I didn't include his source code, but it's available for download on Mr. Petzold's site, at http://www.charlespetzold.com/3d.)

The Towers Of Hanoi

2009-12-09T13:15:00.000-08:00

I'm still trying to recover from my father's passing. If this kind of thing has never happened to you, be warned that it isn't going to be easy.

I've been brushing up on my coding skills to help pass the time and get my mind off things, and I've made a version of the old Towers of Hanoi puzzle using Microsoft's Windows Presentation Foundation libraries. I'm linking to a copy of it here at the bottom of this post so you can try it out, and let me know if you see any bugs (break it to me gently). Be aware that the sample requires at least .NET Framework 3.5, and I haven't provided any of the .NET support files, so the compatibility of your system is up to you.

Towers of Hanoi

All I Have Are Questions

2009-10-04T12:31:00.001-07:00

I watched my father die last Friday. I am in terrible pain right now. I wish my Zen was strong enough to help me roll with this brutal punch to the gut, but maybe it's not supposed to be. I'm an orphan now. I'm very, very lucky to have had him for so long. I wasn't as good to him as I should have been. He was so sick this past week, and not actually conscious. But Wednesday evening I was standing over him telling him how very much I loved him, and with great, great effort he opened his eyes, looked right at me, and squeezed my hand very, very hard. I will always be so grateful to him for that if I live to be 100, which I very much doubt. He always gave, always gave, even when he had nothing to give. What did I do to deserve him?

Death is so terrifying and so much more horrible than we allow ourselves to be aware of most of the time. We keep it at arms' length as much as we can, even though it's happening all around us, and in so many parts of the world, and even this great nation, it so imposes its presence that there's no keeping your distance from it. How are we to find the strength to go on?

To all of you going through some similar pain right now, I am praying for you, in my own poor way. If you do find the strength to continue, and you find even the tiniest bit extra you can spare, please send just a little bit of it to me.

Beyond Good and Evil

2009-08-06T11:40:00.000-07:00

Hamlet:

What have you, my good friends, deserved at the hands of

Fortune, that she sends you to prison thither?

Guildenstern:

Prison, my lord?

Hamlet:

Denmark's a prison.

Rosencrantz:

Then is the world one.

Hamlet:

A goodly one, in which there are many confines, wards and dungeons,

Demark being one o' th' worst.

Rosencrantz:

We think not so, my lord.

Hamlet:

Why then 'tis none to you; for there is nothing either good or

Bad, but thinking makes it so. To me it is a prison.

-- Hamlet, Act II, Scene ii

This thing that we call 'I' is nothing but a construct, a figment of our imaginative brains. This is the conclusion of much of the profoundest knowledge we have, yet it is practically unimaginable to our everyday minds. We interact on a personal basis, we experience things that register as good or bad for our very personal well-being, we live our lives each as unique and special creatures, and we revel in and cherish that uniqueness against all challengers, including the wisdom of the ages. We are all, like Hamlet, enclosed within the private prisons of our selves, and we like it that way, myself included. I am unique.

Things have become even more complicated since Shakespeare's time. We live in a mechanized, semi-sterile world too often disconnected from nature and the earth, and it's easy to lose our way. Our thinking has created many developments in the world, but we're out of balance with the simplicity of just being in the world. I have been faithfully continuing my meditations although mostly it's been just that, blind faith. Most of the time I've had no idea what I was doing, and was probably just making things worse. Maybe I'll look back on what I'm writing today and conclude that I'm still just making things worse, but I'm hoping not. I've gained some appreciation for the Zen predilection for paradox. If I can fully appreciate the sound of one hand clapping, I think I will have regained a level of comfort with that ever-elusive true self, and the simple pleasure of just taking in each moment one at a time without having to think about everything. There is so much we all share that is beyond words, before words, and outside of the limitations of intellection that give rise to paradox, good and bad, one and many, self and other. Life is more than these words. We have to stop and breathe it in.

Einstein proved that time and space are relative, but we persist in conceptualizing that they are not. The closer we look at these assumptions that define our everyday lives, the less solid they all appear. If it's more useful for us to persist in these assumptions, it's no less useful to also try and keep things in perspective and remain open to all the possibilities instead of clinging to fixed ideas. We need to stay flexible. As long as we keep trying to retain this image or that, we blur our picture of the world and reveal it only peeking through a maze of preconceptions and predispositions. Sometimes we don't even see it at all.

I don't think there's anything overly esoteric about what I'm trying to do. Quite the contrary, in fact. I'm just trying to follow the psalm that contained my grandmother's favorite verse. She quoted it so many times: "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." It's from Psalm 46, reprinted below:

1: God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.

2: Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,

3: Though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. Selah.

4: There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells.

5: God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.

6: Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

7: The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah.

8: Come and see the works of the Lord, the desolation he has brought on the earth.

9: He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth; he breaks the bow and shatters the spear, he burns the shields with fire.

10: Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.

11: The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah.

-- Psalm 46

I'm just trying to be still. It hasn't been easy. I keep learning more about what "being still" is. It's an acquired taste. I'm feeling my way as I go, and no one can help me. I can only do this myself. We really are unique -- whatever that means.

Survival is the second law of humanity.

The first is that we are all one.

-- Joseph Campbell

Context: The United States and Iran

2009-06-23T14:51:00.000-07:00

A segment on Keith Olbermann's Countdown yesterday encapsulated the history of U.S./Iran interaction over the last hundred years very nicely. The better you understand the context of the situation, the more likely you are to make good decisions going forward. We've all heard what happens when we don't learn from history.

Imagine

2009-06-22T17:45:00.000-07:00

The G-20 Summit and Labor

2009-03-30T15:33:00.001-07:00

UK's National Union of Teachers one-day strike, April 24, 2008

The Nation's lead article today is a very good one by Max Fraser, called: Global Labor's G-20 Agenda. The international trade union movement is speaking out strongly about how they see the crisis. They want the world to join America in providing stimulus to the world's economy equivalent to 2% of the world's GDP, and they believe that stimulus should focus on job creation, green technology, renewable energy and similar efforts to grow the economy in a forward-looking and sustainable way. They want much stronger regulation, global recognition of workers' rights and environmental issues in trade agreements, and much greater emphasis on nationalizing troubled corporate and financial entities in order to distribute risk and reward in a fairer manner.

At some point, isn't it time to note that, if we're truly honest with ourselves, we're doing this all wrong? The world is focused on solutions to this crisis, and all of us know that the world's financial leaders are still too focused on retaining much of the system that created this mess in the first place. The iron is hot for some really fundamental changes in direction, but the majority of voices are still too dim to be heard. Labor will have its say at the G-20 summit, but in too many ways it will simply be heard politely. The depressing outcome may well be more years of depression as a system the majority have ceased to believe in is coaxed into creaking along on life support. All in all, it's hard to feel hopeful about the near term. The world seems resigned to living a lie long after it's been exposed, and it will not go well for most of its inhabitants, I'm afraid.

It's not for me to say what we should do. It makes me sad, though. I really believe it's when things get loose at the seams like this, it's one of our very few golden opportunities in the history of civilization, and once the gears are set in place to move forward in one direction, it may be a very long time before that chance appears again. This time, that direction may be a very hard one indeed for most of the world's inhabitants.

As I write this, it seems I've drawn an even bleaker picture than I'd feared. I do feel there's a very good chance we're destined for years of hard times if things continue the way they're headed, despite many good moves by Obama's administration. You can argue that there's not much time to debate while the fire is burning, and the task at hand is simply to put it out, but I don't think that analogy captures every aspect of this complex crisis. Once the flames subside, what will we see as we survey the battered landscape? There will still be initiatives to resolve the problems, but they will appear in a climate of reduced expectations, and the internal workings of the economic machinery that now lie so nakedly exposed will once again be withdrawn into opaque containers, visible to only a fortunate few. That reality will have become the new normal, where fewer still are left with resources enough to rebuild, while most are left to wander the charred remains.

A New Era

2008-11-07T15:32:00.001-08:00

We're entering a new era with the election of Barack Obama as the 44th President of the United States. I've tried to help as best I could with my donations to the Obama campaign, and with interaction on major political blogs trying to combat the avalanche of smears and lies that proliferated these past months. Now, the hard part is waiting until he actually takes office, and searching for the best ways I might be able to help. I'm not sure if that will include more posts to this blog, but anything is possible right now. I absolutely don't believe we can all just go back to our normal lives now. Since we first saw the darkening storm clouds on the horizon, much more time has passed with very little action, and few would disagree that it's now a full-scale emergency.

The economic downturn is only the tip of the iceberg. I think we're seeing a widespread global disillusionment in old ways of thinking as reports of failure continue to roll in. I believe it's a terrible mistake to think we can sit back and just kibitz as a new president and congress prepare for their upcoming terms. President-Elect Obama has often reminded us that change happens from the bottom up, and we here at the bottom need to embody that change, and begin building consensus for the things we need to see. I feel gratified that so many of the things I've written about most passionately in these pages have revealed themselves to be such important parts of today's dialogue. It makes me feel greater confidence that I'm on my way to understanding, and that I've not gotten too lost or sidetracked by personal prejudice or confusion. But the learning curve is still very steep, and this new vista of possibility has me, for the moment, almost overwhelmed.

There's a new web site associated with Obama at http://www.change.org/, and I've joined it while selecting my personal cause as Fair Trade. I don't always react well to specializing in one particular area, so I selected Fair Trade since it seems to be such a broad umbrella, including the economy, the environment, and worker/human rights as part of its purview. I'm currently studying the topic as it's viewed on the change.org web site, and watching to see if this url or some other becomes a hub from which change can take place. I'm not sure yet either what I can do, or how, but I want to be a part of this somehow. I think we're in a time where so many of the prevalent methods have failed that it provides us an opportunity to take some profound new directions, and I believe it's likely we're not going to do enough unless we're prodded by revolutionary ideas.

I'm mature enough to see that too much change can frighten many to such an extent that change itself, however well-intentioned, can be counter-productive. It's going to be difficult to find the right mix between patient, long-term perspectives and the very fierce urgency of now. For the moment, it's just good to bask in the warm glow of a nation of voters who have in many ways rejected the misguided direction of Bush, Cheney and the NeoConservatives who found a perhaps half-hearted ally in John McCain. Very soon, our prayers for a chance to turn things around will have come to be, and given a government who will listen, we need to know for sure what it is we wanted to say. Be careful what you wish for, they tell us. The problems we inherit are surely more than we bargained for, and our task ahead is daunting in the extreme.

I know that the only right choices will be the ones that embody compassion, and that must extend to those who were wrong as well as those who were wronged. Whatever we do, I know it's going to take a lot of prayer, or meditation in my case. It's going to take a whole lot of love to see the right path to take from here.

Here's to tomorrow!

Update: Actually, the Obama-affiliated site is http://www.change.gov. Guess I'm not used to seeing a .gov site I can believe in. There's a painful period of adjustment here.

John McCain

2008-08-27T10:25:00.000-07:00

I'm doing a terrible job of updating my blog lately, but I wanted to make at least one updated entry for now, with a video that expresses some of my many concerns about John McCain's bid for the presidency. Passersby might want to take a look at it before deciding how to vote this November.

I just don't agree that everyone in American politics is truly well-intentioned. In this video, there's a clip where McCain actually admits to having acted from an excess of ambition when he failed to condemn the display of a Confederate flag. Everyone's human, of course, but the temptations accompanying the most powerful office on earth can be too great for some, and in these critical times, it's imperative that we take a close look at those who would attain that office.

If someone questions why there is no equivalent here for Obama, I can only answer that I agree that Obama has his own personal failings, but I very much believe that we need for him to win this election, so if you want ammunition to use against Obama, please look elsewhere. If there arise any questions about him as troubling to me as those in this video, I won't hesitate to bring them to everyone's attention, through this blog or whatever means I can. At this time, I believe there's plenty of reason to trust Obama, at worst as much as you can trust any Democratic presidential candidate we've seen in the last thirty years or so, and I don't believe for a moment that Obama has any "secret" schemes that he hasn't divulged. My beef is with McCain.

The emphasis in this video is McCain's potential for drawing us into further unnecessary and avoidable conflicts. That's just a tiny subset of the things that worry me, but it's important to consider what a reputation he has developed for showing a preference for the use of force. Coupled with his military background, his traumatic experiences as a prisoner of war, and a record more notable for its lack of support for legislation that would benefit soldiers and veterans, it's very difficult to feel much confidence in the way that McCain might address global issues.

Bottom line, I believe John McCain when he tells us there's going to be "more wars", at least if we elect him into office. I believe he is much too closely tied to that familiar NeoCon school of thought in American politics that heavily champions the use of American military force as a preferred method of supporting American (in this case, corporate) interests. Far from being one who might temper the ambitions of the NeoCon hawks, McCain's temperament would be more likely to exacerbate the problem. All these ingredients and more combine into perhaps an even more toxic brew than the one concocted for our distinct lack of enjoyment these last eight years.

I can't tell you that everything in the video is true, especially with regard to questions about McCain's behavior while a prisoner of war, but that's not the point. The point is to make you think about the sort of world you think this really ought to be, and whether McCain would bring us closer to that world. Since around 80% of America believes we're headed in the wrong direction now, how much sense does it make to simply speed up the pace?

Candles in the Wind

2008-06-13T17:02:00.000-07:00

To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time,
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

-- William Shakespeare, Macbeth, Act V, Scene V

Snuffed out just like a candle, Mr. Tim Russert is gone. The suddenness is almost overwhelming. We can adjust to death more easily when it comes in its natural course, but to have someone this visible taken so suddenly shocks us all. My thoughts and prayers of course go to his family.

This is a time to speak well of the dead, and I'm not going to attempt to tarnish any legacy he has left. He saw his task as one of reflecting events, and not as a moral arbiter. He asked some pretty tough questions when he got the chance, and he so obviously loved his work and his life that it's very affecting, especially in this moment. We've suffered a serious loss to the political dialogue as well as a touchstone for all that is happening in this world. I would have much preferred if he were still around to share it with.

I have two themes on my mind as I write this. One is how deeply this touches my sense of the fragility of life, and with my recent history, that shouldn't be too surprising. The other is the media in general, and its place in our lives. They're practically family sometimes, but I'm sorry to say it's still a largely dysfunctional arrangement. The kinds of conversations we need to be having, the new dialogue that I promised will start to take place as these months roll on, are only beginning to surface, and I heard some of it only days ago from Russert himself. After Obama won the nomination, I recall Russert suggesting that the media task itself in the weeks ahead to push aside trivialities and focus hard on the main issues. It sounded almost like a mandate coming from Russert, although I have my skepticism as to how well the media is going to behave between now and November. I think we may have lost some of that push toward discipline from the media this afternoon, and I do believe we'll feel that loss. I hope we all try to take up the slack from Mr. Russert just a little when we have the chance, and do our part to hold the candidates fully accountable. I have my own opinions about what will happen if we can do that, and perhaps your opinions differ. I think yesterday's 5-4 Supreme Court decision is as vividly graphic a reminder as you can have that we are teetering on a precipice between reason and madness. What responsibilities might the media have for helping us to cope with such a crisis? I think it's obvious that we're not getting the whole story much of the time. Important stories aren't being sufficiently reported, the range of allowable opinions is severely restricted, more cogent and coherent perspectives are rarely offered, and the trivial perspective with disturbing subtext is by far preferred in many venues. To rely on the mainstream media sources for information is merely to float above the surface of the truth, and all too often to be so tragically misled as to go to war on a faraway nation and witness the corruption of all the nobler ideals of the American soul. Media! The MSM! What have you done?

We have dramatically new sources of information now. The internet is a new world, and the old guard doesn't begin to have a handle on it yet. They'd love to control it, eliminate net neutrality, and turn this free internet into another tool for feeding us only what they want us to get. We have to protect it. It's through the internet, through YouTube, through the ability to research and Google and blog and viral video that we begin to establish a more intelligent and comprehensive point of view, one that highlights the cognitive dissonance of the mainstream talking points. We have a long way to go. The media is a monster of conglomerate corporate power. I have no idea whether it's good or evil, and perhaps that doesn't even matter. Those familiar faces we see every day are extremely well paid, and they're going to have to pay a lot of extra taxes if Obama is elected, many of them paying a million or more than they're paying now. How does that affect their opinions? That isn't chump change, even if you're Wolf Blitzer. Don't expect objectivity when there are stakes involved like that. This is all just going to get weirder.

Until it stops. And it could stop at any moment. What must we do to take each vanishing, precious moment and say we have lived it as fully as ever we knew how? We go along with a smugness that says we must be immortal, and in an instant, a puff of wind, and we're no more. Full of sound and fury. I'm going to give Russert credit one more time. When I hear people talk about him today, what I hear being emphasized most about him was his love. It has the ring of truth to it. I believe this was a truly loving guy, and I think in the final balance that's all you can do. Right now, I think this big dysfunctional family just needs a hug.

I Love Life

2008-06-12T10:52:00.000-07:00

I'm back. Sort of. I've kind of had a tough time health-wise the last few weeks, and my good intentions with this blog got waylaid just a bit. I'm going to do more to support my health -- I promise -- and we've got warmer weather coming up, and that's going to help me a lot. I'd like to see if I can get back to taking a few minutes every day to put my thoughts down. I'm not sure if I've had many worth recording the last few days, but here goes nothing.

I don't want to dwell on poor health, but it does, as they say, have a wonderfully concentrating effect on the mind. I've smoked my way into a pretty severe case of emphysema, and I'm getting serious now about wanting to kick the habit. Here's a fascinating new product: e-cigarettes! I'm seriously considering placing an order. Electronic cigarettes, good grief! But the simulation is impressive. There's actual nicotine, and smoke is simulated with water vapor. It's so close to the ritual of the real thing, complete with nicotine, that it sounds crazy enough to work. Of course, you wouldn't be saving much money. Twenty nicotine refills are equivalent to two cartons of cigarettes, and it looks like they run for about $39.00, so in essence you're still paying about two bucks a "pack". I'm gonna try it. Hey, what have I got to lose?

I'm propped up by some pretty massive drugs right now. So, now you know, you want to make something of it? I'm using the high-strength Advair (500/250), plus Spiriva, and a whopping 40 mg/day of prednisone. I won't be able to stay on the prednisone much longer, but it sure is helping for now. It's always better when your need for air doesn't outpace your capacity to take it in, but I've been on the losing end of that equation for several months now, and it's been hard even to meditate. I've tried to keep up with the outside world through all the usual sources, but I haven't had much energy to spare. Here's hoping I'll have a little reserve for a while here. My thoughts aren't worth all that much, but it helps me to sort things out. If I can start turning my focus away from the personal here, and do a little reflecting about our common experience, maybe I'll have a post here or there that says something useful. You'll never know unless you try.

I know that it's really good to be alive. It's an exquisite luxury to be a human being in this time, and attempt to process all the complexities of our experience in some meaningful way. I've been pretty vividly reminded how brief and fleeting all of this really is, and that really does make you appreciate the simple things for what they are. It's good to be here. We've got lots to do, but I don't care. I'm really excited about being around to witness this exciting time.

When I've been able to meditate, I've felt it's somehow easier than it was. I think it's something about understanding how foolish it is to try and "accomplish" something by meditating, so I'm pretty happy just to sit there. I don't know what it's good for, so I just do it, and that's that. Then I do other things. Enough on that for now.

We've got a face-off going on right now between our two candidates for the 44th Presidency of the United States, and I think it's sufficiently important to give it a lot of attention, even to the detriment of other concerns, till this is resolved. I really believe these next five months are going to be as important as any I've known in my life. I made a similar comment yesterday on Huffington Post, and got a response that I must lead a pretty sheltered life. I was a little hurt, I think. What's happened to me personally is arguably more important, I suppose, but it seems to me we're at a crisis point in the determination of our future, both as a nation and even, perhaps, as a species. We have the most historic presidential candidate ever in Barack Obama, historic on so many levels due both to his race and to the nature of the way in which his campaign was financed, by people like myself instead of by the usual suspects. On the other side it appears we have a man who has jettisoned any personal opinions he's ever had in return for power, with the support of the cancerous outgrowths of corruption that have spun the world nearly into madness and self-destruction. The contrasts would seem to be so clearly drawn that old boundaries really may have been transcended, and we may be redefining ourselves and our loyalties for some time to come.

Is the choice really black and white? And how confusing is it to even use those terms now, given the candidates? Everything's topsy-turvy. I've never in my life seen things start to fall apart all at once like this. The economy is outrageous, the current administration is twisting slowly in the wind of its own exposed corruption, and the disparate mentalities of America attempt to grapple with all this and find a way forward. John McCain is transparently championing our current directions, and I can barely take my eyes off those Americans who listen and nod in agreement. It's like watching a crash in slow motion. These are truly lemmings headed for the sea, even if they should win. There will be a new kind of dialogue this year, and I don't think most of us are prepared for it.

"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
Of cabbages--and kings--
And why the sea is boiling hot--
And whether pigs have wings."

-- The Walrus and the Carpenter, Lewis Carroll

911

2008-05-25T22:07:00.000-07:00

No, not 9/11, just 911. Mine. I was given a new drug to add to my Advair/Spiriva dynamic duo, something called Singulaire, or something like that. The problem is that after taking Singulaire for just two nights, Wednesday and Thursday, I became extremely ill, really barely able to breathe at all. I've been trying to tough it out through Memorial Day Weekend, but a trip to the grocery store today resulted in a couple's insistence that I contact 911 to receive emergency help. In fact, they contacted them for me, and I was punched and prodded for some time from the driver's seat of my car, and then from within the back of the ambulance as we headed off to the emergency room. I'm still pulling tape off me from that place, but I have to admit they were very good, and it wasn't a situation in which I was kept waiting at all, or even put through admitting. They didn't want me to leave, either, and I had to sign a waiver saying I was leaving against doctor's orders. But I'm hanging in there, and maybe feeling slightly better, although I've got a ways to go before I'm even back to what I've been calling normal. I don't plan on exiting just yet. This year is too interesting and important to leave now.

Hillary's Meltdown

2008-05-23T22:46:00.000-07:00

It had to happen eventually. She's been pushing almost 24/7 for six months, or more. She's got to be exhausted. But I'm not going to give her an exhaustion pass for her remarks today. To my mind, even if you're a little tired you should have at least a minimal self-awareness about how the remarks you're making will be received, and whether or not some might consider them awkward.

Awkward? You might say that. You might, if you were possessed of at least a tiny modicum of self-reflection, consider refraining from discussing what happened to Bobby Kennedy's presidential bid in the context of Barack Obama. But not Hillary.

Some may be inclined to find a way to forgive her for these remarks. Personally, I'm more than tired of allowing Hillary to continue past all reason and dignity, especially when she speaks in a way that could potentially threaten the safety of Obama.

I don't like broaching this topic for any reason. I would like to see us quickly fall into silence about such hideous things, and return to discussing what we need to accomplish, and how we'll get there. But before we do, I hope we can finally bid farewell to the most destructive presidential candidate I've ever seen. W has certainly been the most destructive president, but in terms of a destructive candidate, it's Hillary, hands down. Obama is only 50-some delegates away from clinching, so I sincerely hope the superdelegates make a quick end of this, and send Hillary off for a long rest. I really, really think she actually needs one.

Here's Keith Olbermann's special comment on Hillary this evening. He's as upset as I am.

My concentration isn't very good tonight. If you've read many of these posts, you know I have emphysema. It's more than a little troublesome this evening. Hopefully, things will improve soon.

Pastor Problems

2008-05-22T22:56:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know, I missed posting yesterday. And today's will be pretty short. I'm just doing the best I can. Yesterday was kind of busy.

Today was the day of the pastors, at least for Republican candidate John McCain. McCain's complete break with Texas televangelist John Hagee was followed a few hours later by another break with Ohio televangelist Rod Parsley. And for one day, at least, Obama's troubles with his former pastor Jeremiah Wright took a back seat. I'm sure this isn't the last we'll hear of religion in this presidential race, but at least we scored a couple of points for a little more rational world today.

You might know I would say this, but the GOP's pastors scare me a whole lot more than Obama's guy. Hagee already made a name for himself by calling the Catholic church "the great whore", but the latest stuff that came out was just too much. Not even McCain could tolerate someone saying that Hitler was sent by God to drive the Jews into Israel, and he disassociated himself, leaving Hagee and his followers to decide on their own who might be best to lead them onward to Armageddon. Rod Parsley's church is in Columbus, Ohio, not far from where my father and stepmother live, and when the media began following up on Hagee with the well-known stories of Parsley's inflamed hatred for all things Islamic, McCain made it a two-for-one day. Someday we're really going to figure this separation of church and state thing out.

I've had my say about Reverend Wright elsewhere. It would be nice if I never feel a need to discuss him at length in this blog, but I'm sure the time will come. There's not much worth saying about Parsley, at least in terms of what I know about him right now. He's just a bigot, as near as I can tell. Hagee is worth mentioning in connection with the long-neglected themes of this blog, because Hagee apparently believes he can discern the will of God. You can read up on this guy if you want to; I'm hoping he and his little following fade along with their plans to catch up the plight of the Jews in their dreams of rapture, but the whole of the story of fundamentalist visions of the Last Days most likely has yet to be told.

A Mixed Bag Kind of Day

2008-05-20T23:51:00.000-07:00

I still have nine minutes until midnight here on the Left Coast, so if I hurry, I can keep my promise to myself of a post per day. I'd better make it short.

The primaries were the news of the day, aside from the awful news about Senator Kennedy's brain tumor. Hillary won Kentucky by about 65%-30%, and Obama is winning Oregon by about 58%-42%. The good news is Obama now has a majority of the elected delegates, which means he's the undisputed (well, to impartial observers) winner of the primary process. When delegates are totalled up for this evening, he should be only about 60 delegates away from the nomination.

What I really wanted to mention was the problem with the way Hillary has won Kentucky and West Virginia, and a portion of her votes in other states. I think it's going to be very difficult for the media to spin this any other way than the simple fact that Bill and Hillary catered to the bigot vote. There was no significant issue with "hard-working white voters" in Oregon, obviously, nor has there been in many other states, including here in Washington. The problem is that Hillary was perfectly happy to receive votes from those who weren't ready to vote for a black man, and worse yet, she implicitly encouraged it.

I seem to remember a presidential candidate who felt a need to express these sentiments: "If you wouldn't vote for Barack because he is black, or Hillary because she is a woman, then I don't want your vote." (Hint: John Edwards) Those would have been great sentiments to proclaim all through these primaries, especially in West Virginia and Kentucky. It's a great shame that not every candidate felt that way.

I understand David Gergen, the former Clinton aide, expressed similar sentiments on CNN this evening, although I missed it. But my point is, I don't think even media mindlessness or Clinton spin can gloss over the truth of what has happened to the primary process in Appalachia this year. It stands on its own as a mute reminder of one wing of a political party gone horribly, disastrously wrong, preferring to trade its core principles of equality for personal power. I was born and raised in Appalachia, so I have a pretty good understanding of the forces that have been in play for the last few weeks. Parts of America have been very cynically misused, so much so that I think the raw truth will have to come out and be discussed if we're to begin the healing process.

There's so much healing we need to do. I'm not sure how it's going to happen if we continue to intentionally wound ourselves.

Peace Offerings

2008-05-19T13:58:00.001-07:00

I went back to Huffington Post this morning and made a posting. Just one. But it got a "HuffPost's Pick" award, so I guess I'll share it. The comment was made to the lead article, written by Arianna Huffington herself, as a peace offering to the much-abused Hillary Clinton, titled Hillary Clinton's Defeat: A Historic Triumph. By far the bulk of the posted comments were still highly critical of Mrs. Clinton, and that's just the honest truth of the feelings about her and the way that she's run her campaign. I've been concerned, as I mentioned yesterday, that in trying too hard to accommodate both sides, we would shy away from the intellectual honesty we need to retain or run the risk of alliances that turn out to be all too fragile. Since the comments were not being censored, I saw that the truth was still coming out, so I took the opportunity to list what I think are her strongest qualities. Please keep in mind there's a great deal that I've left unsaid, but you can scan through the other comments to see what I mean. Here then is my own little homage to Hillary's good side:

I'm glad the posters have been allowed to express themselves. I appreciate Ms. Huffington's post, but I was concerned that we still need to be honest. With much of the dirty laundry already aired, I feel like I have the luxury of focusing on what I too find to be positive about Hillary Clinton.

Although her name recognition accrues from the former president, Hillary Clinton proved beyond a doubt that she belongs in the rarefied atmosphere of presidential politics. Her knowledge of policies and issues is sweeping and detailed, and her command of the material is second to none. She is forceful and direct in debates, clear and convincing, and her responses have the authority and confidence of a leader. She is, as Senator Obama himself proclaims her, "formidable". Far more than an impressive woman, she is an imposing person. She successfully transcended gender in terms of her suitability as the nation's leader in the overwhelming majority of voters' minds. For all the criticisms aimed her way, no one I've heard has ever implied she does not possess absolutely superior skills to bring to the job. For these things, Hillary Clinton has sharpened the imprint in our minds that gender prejudice has no place in politics or society.

You have to look at everything if you're going to be honest, the good and the bad. But I think that Hillary and her supporters can clearly take pride in the things that I've mentioned here, and much more, I'm certain.

Another item of note is the endorsement of Senator Obama by none other than Senator Robert Byrd (D-WV). The 90-year-old Senator from the state of my birth has had quite a history, including a brief membership in the Ku Klux Klan in his youth. It's a shame he didn't endorse before Obama's embarrassing defeat in West Virginia, but it may have some effect in tomorrow's primary in the neighboring state of Kentucky. When Senator Byrd tells Appalachia that Obama is "a noble-hearted patriot and humble Christian", that has a chance of getting even the most narrow-minded voters to sit up and listen.

Resistance Is Futile

2008-05-18T19:44:00.001-07:00

Barack Obama speaking to an estimated 75,000 people in Portland, OR May 18

What a reception for Barack Obama in Portland, Oregon! If ever there was an appropriate time to use the hackneyed phrase "a sea of humanity", this is it. I know the Ohio State-Michigan game would draw more fans, but this is to hear someone give a speech. That makes this special.

Hello again. It's been quite some time since I last posted. I've been meaning to get back to this blog again, and I'm not sure we can take this as much indication that I've been successful, but it's a start. We'll have to see how it goes from here. For the past two or three months, most of my internet time has been monopolized by the web site called Huffington Post. Since I still can't get around much, I've taken to the liberal blog sites to battle the storm of misinformation that has been raging around the first serious African-American candidate for the President of the United States. It saddens me terribly to see how many people are willing to recklessly propagate so many lies and misrepresentations about one individual, and unless you've been living under a rock for the past few months, I'm sure I'm not telling you a thing. Obama has gone from Muslim to Liberation Theologist to elitist snob, and back again, and all of this is nothing but vicious smears. For example, the other day one of the posters -- undoubtedly of the species we commonly refer to as a troll -- presented the following phrase as a "quote" from Obama's recent book The Audacity Of Hope: "I will stand with the Muslims should the political winds shift in an ugly direction." Whoa Nellie! That's a strange thing for a presidential candidate to say, I have to admit. Sounds like Obama's taking sides against the Christians, doesn't it? Worse yet, I did a Google search on the phrase "I will stand with the Muslims" and got around 20,000 hits, many of them pointing to conservative web sites or blogs. Looks like Obama's secret is out!

Except, of course, that I read the book. The quote is, as you might expect, a misquote, and the context is horribly skewed. The phrase in question occurs on page 261, and the context is actually a discussion about immigration and immigrants. He wrote about speaking to immigrant audiences during campaigns and other occasions, and he noted the special problems some immigrants face in the current climate:

In the wake of 9/11, my meetings with Arab and Pakistani Americans, for example, have a more urgent quality, for the stories of detention and FBI questioning and hard stares from neighbors have shaken their sense of security and belonging. They have been reminded that the history of immigration in this country has a dark underbelly; they need specific assurances that their citizenship really means something, that Americans have learned the right lessons from the Japanese internments during World War II, and that I will stand with them should the political winds shift in an ugly direction.

Quite a difference from the explosive quote offered initially, don't you think? A little twist of a phrase, a little lifting out of context, and it's possible to destroy a man with barely an effort at all. This is the environment in which we now live and struggle to bring new meaning and hope to democracy. It isn't pretty.

This morning, I was browsing again through Huffington Post, and the topmost story was about the potential "merging" of the Obama and Clinton camps. That struck me as seeming rather arbitrary and pretentious, and I imagined how I'd feel if my candidate was holding the short end, and I was told I was being merged. I decided to write a brief comment, two or three short paragraphs that complained that such things seemed a bit artificial and catered more to the herd mentality. I recommended that Clinton supporters search their own consciences for guidance on how to proceed, and make their own judgments accordingly. The post was not anti-Clinton, nor was it demeaning or profane. I checked back once, and noticed I'd gotten several very positive responses. Then I clicked to refresh the post again, and it was gone. My independent-minded little comment had been scrubbed, lost forever in the Huffington Post bit bucket trashcan. I was ticked.

I know that Huffington Post closely moderates threads on the week-ends, and clears posts with far more regularity than during the week. But I'm still fuming about that one. I don't feel as if I've written any miniature masterpieces in my time there, but sometimes, as with this one, I actually take a little time, exert a little effort, and I have this peculiar notion that my time and effort has some value all its own that ought to be honored. I don't much like the feeling I've just wasted my time, and unfortunately, that's how I felt this morning. I also felt it was a post that needed to be written. I feel pretty strongly that some overly enthusiastic supporters have lost touch with their sense of intellectual honesty, and I think it's important to make sure we get back there, because we're going to need cool heads and strong convictions if we're going to get through these next few months and secure the win. Apparently, the Huffington moderators decided my post wasn't offered in the new "team spirit", so I've gone off for a while to retch in my private disgust.

How should I feel about what I've seen so far in this primary race? Am I looking at a glass that's half-full or half-empty? I guess I need to punt for now, and say that it's just too early. When I see a crowd like the one in Portland, I think we're looking at a new age for America, bright with hope for a safe and peaceful future. But when I reflect on what just occurred in my old stomping grounds, West Virginia, I'm very sad. When I hear the President use the occasion of Israel's 60th anniversary celebration to take a broadside shot at his political opponents back home, I'm sadder still. Even Obama's skilled and powerful response wasn't enough to completely lift my spirits. It's so strange to see how much the shade of a person's skin still helps to shape the opinions of so many in our world. Barring the success of continuing attempts to discredit the talented Senator, however, he soon will be the Democratic nominee, the first ever in America to be anything other than a white male. And no, I don't support Obama because he's a black man, but I'm pleased by the extra bonus that presents. It's his ideas, his approach, his humor and positive outlook that won me over, and if he'd looked like a clone of John Edwards or Chris Dodd I would feel the same.

For what this was worth, I think this is enough of an attempt to get back in the blogging vein. My intention -- and we know what the road to Hell is paved with -- is to make at least some little blog post every day, at least something to record what caught my eye that day, and hopefully the force of habit will take over and get this little journalized perspective back on track. I don't know if I'll go back to posting at Huffington or not; I feel like what happened today was symptomatic of larger issues. I could get my opinions off my chest just as well at DailyKos, but there's something a little more dynamic about Huffington Post when I'm not being censored; some of the comments aren't terribly smart, but some of them are, and for all the phoniness of posters pretending they're something they're not, something of a real sense of the mood of the nation sometimes comes through.

Maybe if I reserve this little blog as the place to say stuff without being censored, I can shrug off the silliness of what goes on at these web sites with more aplomb. I guess I'll just take it a day at a time.

Hillary, Please Go Away

2008-03-11T22:46:00.000-07:00

I'm getting really sick of this.

I didn't hate Hillary Clinton when all this started. Plus, I've always been kind of a champion for women's rights. I've been a fairly typical male in a lot of respects, but I've been out there for women quite a lot in my life, and I don't mean Eliot Spitzer-style. I don't think there is any male who wants to see women achieve equal rights and respect in every area more than I do, and I can say that with conviction. I know that if the United States is around long enough, there will be a lot of capable and talented women holding the office of the Chief Executive. I have felt strongly about this sort of thing long enough that I don't have to consider voting for someone out of sexist or racist guilt. I feel free to consider candidates based on their merits, and I'm confident that neither racism nor sexism will be involved in my decision, including reverse racism or sexism. I'm going to try and pick the best person. Just so you know.

Hillary, please go away. I can't believe your capacity for screwing things up. You've lost, dear. It's over. Better luck next time, and thanks for playing. We have some lovely parting gifts. Please get out of here before you take all the hope and promise of the 2008 Presidential Campaign and turn it into yet another chapter in the total nightmare that has been the 21st Century up to now. To a very great extent, your base has become Rush Limbaugh Republicans who flood the voting booths of open primaries at the behest of their chubby spokesman to prop up support for the candidate they would prefer to face this fall. You have never embraced the really progressive principles of the Democratic side of the fence, preferring instead the big business of backroom deals and cynical posturing. You voted for war, and you voted for tough talk, you lied about NAFTA in a couple of dozen different ways, you have reveled in the politics of fear and of racial division, and you've taken the excitement of a nation and twisted it up in a manner reminiscent of Bush's squandering of global good will after 9/11. This isn't how it's supposed to be, and I venture there's as little real support for you right now as there is for W. I had some hopes for you, despite your reputation as a Centrist, but you're simply proof of how corrupt our system has become.

Drop out of the race. Now! America is sick of you! We're sick of Mark Penn and Ed Rendell and Eliot Spitzer and Geraldine Ferraro and the whole ulcerous corrupt lot of you. We're sick of the way you're playing with Florida and Michigan, the way you skirt around the edges of race, good grief, don't get me started again, just go!

Fortunately, there seems to be precious little chance you're going to win. You've started the worst of these games too late, and the lead is just a little too big. You're not going to get there. At this point, you'd need to win about 62-63% of the votes remaining even to get anyone to listen to you, and only your blindest followers believe you can do that. If you simply planned to compete, fairly and honestly, then I'd say go for it. I love a good competition, and I'd be more than happy to go toe to toe on the issues with you the rest of the way. But that's not what's going on, is it? We're all going to have to start wearing athletic cups the rest of the way over here, even the women, because the frequency of hits below the belt is beyond belief.

Politics just isn't the way it used to be, is it? Time was, when most of these tricks could be pulled off pretty much unchallenged. We'd get maybe a sniff of what was going on in the paper and on the evening news, but that's all we knew. Now, it's a new ball game. Now, the whole filthy game plan is laid out on the internet for inspection, and we can decide what we like for ourselves. Even so, you came awfully close to pulling it off, and you can still do so much damage that even a sorry old loser like John McCain might come out of this thing with the prize when it's all said and done.

I've already done a fair amount of ranting on this topic before I started to write this post. I've been over at Huffington Post, among other places, getting all this off my chest. Here's one I wrote in response to a nice post by Jane Smiley, called I'm Already Against The Next War:

Hillary's right, you know.
You've got to be a little bit crazy to take on the entrenched interests in D.C. Hillary's been there, and she knows how corrupt it really is. When you think of the tremendous power and influence, permeating every aspect of government, military, corporations and the media, it's absolutely hopeless. Unquestionably, the only sensible thing to do is not try to beat them, and to make the best of things by slapping them on the back and trading shots with them on long flights. We're all doomed, anyway. If global warming doesn't get us, a loose nuke will, because we're driving everyone on the planet crazy, and it's going to take a whole lot more than a president to stop us. I mean, get real, people!
The trouble is, I guess I'm a little bit crazy, deep down. I still believe that as long as there are just a few of us who cling to the real principles of democracy, and the highest aspirations of humanity, we are charged to defend those principles and aspirations to our final breath. For the most part, the odds are stacked against us, and try as we might to shake off the Clintons of the world, she is, as Jon Stewart claims, like The Terminator. You think you've destroyed her, but then all the little globs start rolling back together, and she rises up again.
Yes, she's corrupt. She's the perfect candidate for the nation that has taken corruption to its grandest scale, and I can see her extensive experience informing all that she says and does. I am beyond impressed by how well she has learned her lessons. By all accounts, she is indeed the perfect choice to carry this nation forward in the coming years. Except that every sign and signal of nature and the soul tells us that now, and not a moment later, we have to bring our current momentum to a halt, and for once as a nation stop and reflect on what it all means, and for that task Hillary is completely unprepared.
It has long seemed foolish and naive to me to think that we would ever have a chance to turn things around, and then I watched a young man from Illinois last year announce his candidacy before the same courthouse where another young man named Abraham Lincoln once did the same thing. I knew then that he was different, and if the impossible ever had a chance to occur in my lifetime, it would be because of him. In the year since, I've watched him closely. I haven't always been overjoyed, but most of the time my admiration of his abilities has only deepened. I am no blind Moonie-style follower. There are no rose-colored glasses perched on the bridge of my aging nose. I've seen a whole lot of politicians come and go, and I've seen a whole lot of talented careers in a great many fields. The first time I saw Robin Williams on the stage, I knew -- and told my friends -- that he'd be huge. My friends just laughed. The first time Jerry Rice stepped on the football field for the 49ers, I told my co-worker that he would be to receivers what Jim Brown had been to running backs. My co-worker scoffed.
Barack Obama will be to American Presidents what no other politician has been in my lifetime, if he can get through these final hurdles. And in the end, it may still be only a fool's errand, because the deck really is stacked against any serious attempt to turn back the tsunami waves of American money and power, but you've got to at least try. You put your best man (or woman) out there and give it a shot. He may not be the best candidate for the America we've come to know, but he's the best one we have for the America I want to see.
I can tell you all this, Ms. Smiley, because from what I've read in this and other excellent posts you've made, I think you will understand. I can't say this to Hillary and her supporters. They don't know what I'm talking about at all.
"Bill Clinton was the best Republican president I ever worked for." -- Alan Greenspan

Catching Up

2008-03-03T16:15:00.000-08:00

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
-- Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

It's been a while since I made an entry. All the focus is on the primaries, and I'd like to move ahead to the general election and take on the Republicans. It looks like my candidate Obama is in a strong position, so much of the recent happenings seem like noise that must be endured, lots of sound and fury signifying nothing. We'll know more after Tuesday.

I'm thinking about how to take on the arguments of McCain. My own stance is probably more pointedly opposite him than even Obama's arguments may be when this debate starts heating up. I'm happy that with Obama as the candidate, there's much less chance for the Iraq discussion to deteriorate into how the "war" was simply mismanaged. Senator Obama will forcefully argue that there should never have been a war in the first place. There are a great many reasons why we shouldn't have gone into Iraq, and Obama correctly stated many of those back in 2002. Beyond the obvious misdirection of the battle against Al Qaeda to a country that had no role in 9/11, Obama knew that such a war would further damage relations, both within and outside the Muslim world, that it would require occupation resources and heavy cost, and that such endeavors are really doomed from the start. Obama's judgment on this issue is so inarguably correct, or at least it should be by now, that it's just a question of whether Americans are really ready to hear it.

Throughout history, occupying forces have never been able to fully conquer any nation. The pitiful excuse for a government now in Baghdad will never be truly accepted by the Iraqis. Democracy probably has a lot less chance of taking root in Iraq than it would have if we hadn't been meddling in that country since the 1950's, but until we get out of there, it has no chance at all. Will Obama talk much about the truth of why we're there? Will he discuss the heavy pressure being brought to bear by multinational energy firms such as ExxonMobil for control of Iraq's oil wealth under the guise of Iraq's oil "revenue sharing" plans? Will he mention the international leverage we want to possess by having our hands on the spigot of such an important resource right in the middle of the world's biggest region for it? There are many reasons why he might not. The forces that want to exercise that sort of control in the region will still be around after the election, and they'll continue to make an impact on how we behave. It's going to be up to us to make sure the whole argument gets laid out, because I don't think any President is going to be able to stand up to all this alone. It's still going to be up to us to drive the argument forward, and force America to face the truth about its own imperialistic pursuits. These problems extend beyond whatever administration is in power, and they don't go away simply by electing a relatively progressive Democrat. It's not that simple, folks. We have work to do.

If we simply accept that the world is a nasty place, and we have to be nasty if we want to be a part of it, I think we're failing to examine that position in sufficient depth. For myself, I can't lay claim to being an international expert, but I've known and worked with people from an enormous range of countries, and I think I've developed a pretty good sense of people overall. There are certainly some very violent pockets in the world, and there are some attitudes in the world that defy belief. Even in some countries we think of as being developed, there are nakedly racist attitudes toward other peoples that are beyond shocking to our American sensibilities. I wouldn't try to tell you for a moment that there isn't a whole lot to worry about with respect to our security. A lot of this planet is just plain crazy, make no mistake. Still, so much of the worst part of the craziness stems from patterns we can follow by studying history and related areas. When you look at what's happened, and after the shock has worn off a little, there's nothing very surprising that we haven't known all along about human nature. We know that too much power corrupts, that greed is too prevalent, and that we've become sort of a power-hungry, greedy nation. So what did you expect? I expect that we can improve things, perhaps beyond anything we could currently imagine, if we stay involved enough to examine the motives for our actions, and actually exercise the best judgment instead of opting for the most material gain. There's a lot we wouldn't solve by such a change, but we might start cutting some of our problems down to size.

Noam Chomsky resurfaced to give a talk about Iraq in Massachusetts the other day, and an article for The Nation called The Most-Wanted List that examines the terror of recently assassinated Hezbollah commander Imad Moughniyeh in the light of other violent activities in that part of the world. These are invaluable perspectives if we really want to understand the events of today's world as a caring human being, and not as an ideologue or unquestioning supporter of U.S. administration policies. I need to remind you now that I'm looking at all this in somewhat of an attitude of retrospective, as someone who's grown older and is no longer in the prime of health. I need you to understand how clearly the things that really matter stand out within that context, and the clarity doesn't represent a shift, such that some things should have mattered before, but other things matter now; what's clear is that these are always the things that really mattered, the things that provide a broad and deep sense of meaning and value throughout all phases of our lives without regard to age or life situation.

If you've read some of these entries, you know I've been studying the world situation very closely, and I've seen that our policies have done at least as much harm as good, and that's putting it mildly. I know that many of you just haven't had the time to pull back the curtain and see the sham for what it is, and I feel that many of you would be prepared to take very strong action if you really knew the truth. There are still too many, though, who would still try to ignore what's going on, who would hope that someone else could fix things, or afraid to try to fix things for fear of upsetting the status quo. What I have to tell you is that you absolutely must stop these things from happening because we're at multiple tipping points, for democracy, the climate, and the world. As long as we let George do it, he or Cheney most certainly will, and the world will suffer.

I've never said this won't be a long struggle. We can't just elect a progressive candidate and take a snooze. We not only have to wake up, we're going to have some long nights ahead, and we're going to have to upset some applecarts along the way. I'm the last person that will ever advocate any sort of violence. Don't look for that sort of thing here, because any attempt to solve problems with violence immediately destroys the solutions. What we do have to be is strong, and steadfast, and confident that we'll know what has to be done when the time comes as long as we listen equally to our heart and our head when we're asked to decide.

An election is a good time to shake things up, but we need to shake things up every day from now on. I don't want anarchy. I don't want everyone to give away all their belongings and renounce materialism. I don't want to open the door for every crazy who shows up. I just want you to start making your decisions with a thought to the things that are really important. I want you to imagine how you'll feel about things when it's nearly over, and how you'll feel then about some of the choices you made. Will you rationalize about that compromise that helped to exploit a few hundred workers in some obscure part of the world, or will you look for some way to ask for some kind of forgiveness for having come up short when you didn't really need to? I don't think we always need to think in big, revolutionary terms, even to achieve something big and revolutionary. Sometimes we just need to start taking care of the little things, and the big things will start to fall into place.

Rambling

2008-02-15T16:29:00.000-08:00

I don't feel like writing about the "horse race" right now. It's important, but don't you need a break now and then? I thought so.

I just feel like rambling. Perhaps unintelligibly. I've got a lot on my mind, and I'm sure you do as well, and I feel like I'm learning more about how to roll with the shocks that are constantly provided by our modern world by taking time out for meditation. Even a good night's sleep can't do as much good sometimes as meditation, if you're having trouble trying to give your brain a rest. It's important to remember that if we're fortunate enough to be able to take a few minutes and set it all aside, we're blessed to be present right here, right now in this still breathtakingly beautiful place. It's important just to remember how much there is to appreciate and be grateful for. Some of you get on your knees and pray. I sit cross-legged, and try to forget about me and just listen. Maybe it isn't quite the same thing, but it's pretty close.

Of course, I've also done a whole lot of reading and study, so much that the ego pops up again, and makes me think I should be pretty impressed by myself. Well, a big part of that chip on my shoulder got knocked off in Manhattan bumping up against some of the finest minds and talents in New York theater, and a lot of the rest of that chip was shredded by the jaw-dropping intellects I've encountered in nearly a decade at Microsoft. I know full well that no matter how much I do, or how much I study, it's barely a blip on the radar of achievements. I don't think I need to worry too much about my ego getting out of control. I'm just glad all this material is out there to help me learn, and I hope many of you are reaching out beyond the largely mindless debates in the media to learn for yourselves. There are levels of understanding, you do realize that, I trust, and if I've advanced past a few plateaus in the last year or so, don't worry, I still can't look up and see the top.

You may know something about me, or maybe not. Most of it isn't important, except that I have no offspring to worry about (at least that I know of, haw, haw). I have my regrets about that, but at least it allows me to speculate a little more freely about the way our society is constructed. If you have children, I suspect there's an understandable tendency to short-circuit that kind of speculation a little bit, for fear that drastic change might endanger the future prospects for those young people. I would counter that I have no less concern than you do for their future, but maybe I can and do entertain some riskier notions than others might. Then, too, I would offer that serious risks are being taken on your behalf whether you want that to happen or not, and we're all feeling the fallout from them, so let's free up our minds a little and entertain some new possibilities. Your children are liable to thank you if you do.

Reports are coming out now -- one of them was the main headline on my Seattle Post-Intelligencer this morning -- about how many ways the ecology of the oceans has been damaged. Here's a link to the article in my paper this morning: Scientists fear "tipping point" in Pacific Ocean. It's about the massive deaths of sea creatures at the ocean bottom for lack of oxygen. There are so many similar reports, not to mention all the humanitarian crises in Africa and elsewhere, other threats of violence and war, and so on. My point is, this isn't working. More importantly, the United States has had its big hammy hands in a lot of places where they didn't belong to prevent things from working. We've been actively supporting the wrong things in the name of one overstated devil or another -- Communism, Socialism, Islamofascism, Illegals, whoever They might happen to be. We've propped up dictators, overthrown democracies who threatened the status quo, and generally promoted the wealthy elite throughout the world and exploited the poor, all in the name of spreading "democracy" and free trade. Now, about 1% of the population controls about 80% of the world's resources, and that little 1% is scrambling frantically to make it 90%, while the Pinochets, the Suhartos, and the Musharrafs of the world reign supreme. Once there was a Hitler, and he's left such a scar on the heart of humanity it may never beat properly again, but we have to try and recover. Another Hitler may come again someday, and we'll need to be prepared for him or her, but I think we need to start remembering how to have a little courage, how to live in the world with a sense of caution, not of fear.

We need to consider some serious changes. We really need to lift up the hood of this vehicle I'm using to represent our modern system, and see if the engine couldn't use a complete overhaul. It's certainly polluting the earth, its fuel drives both itself and world unrest, and many of its parts are ripped from the earth in a manner that leaves it with permanent scars. Much of the construction of these parts is performed in sweatshop conditions for less than a living wage, and the result is wrapped in an overpriced package to be sold for credit we don't always have for a price that we can't afford. It's insupportable, it's unsustainable, and it is on the whole inhuman and morally bereft. That we can still remain in touch with some grain of humanity in this unnatural bête noire is part of the joyous miracle of life.

Back when Eisenhower was President (and yes, I was alive then, just not very old), we had a lot of problems, but in the United States we had a fairly positive attitude, and we were really trying to work together, for the most part. There was still terrible racism, of course, and we had all the sophistication of the Grand Ole Opry, but we had the strongest middle class in the history of America, supported heavily by a very progressive taxation system that rose up to 91% for income earned in a year beyond what would be at least 1 million, I believe, in today's dollars. I'm sorry if that's imprecise or inaccurate, but I'm rambling, and I didn't look it up just now. I'm certain the 91% figure is correct; I just don't remember what the earnings level was for sure, or how that would figure in today's terms. I think it would take some serious doing to get us back to that point. We'd have to take most of Brady Quinn's bonus money away from him, and that would be hard. Besides, I'm not sure what the right approach is, I'm just sure that even when you add up all the money, there isn't enough for every Goldman Sachs employee to get a million bucks for Christmas and to feed all the starving people in the United States alone. We either start learning how to level it out a little, or folks will starve in increasing numbers. You might even start to notice it's happening without my having to tell you. Then it would be real bad.

Now, I like the ideas of achievement and success. I suspect that in even the most perfect world there will still be winners and losers, and perhaps that's as it should be. I think in a more perfect world we can provide a little cushion for the losers, maybe not a house in the Hamptons with servants, but enough to get by. There should be incentive for success, and rewards, percs and privileges, but not so much of all those things that it gets obscene. I think we can experience all the thrill of victory and agony of defeat even if the victor collects a little smaller handful of spoils. We could consider playing this game of life a little more for fun, a little less for keeps, and we'd still enjoy it.

What would become of excellence if we try to establish some sensible limits? I think that's a bogus concern if there ever was one. I believe that those who want to achieve excellence will do so whenever they can, and that part of us has never been all about money. I hardly think that the best in us will suffer if we try to lift up the least. The truth is, I think the best in us has suffered long enough.

Oh, the economy is so fragile, if we try to change things the whole world market will fall apart! All I can say to that is: Read, my friends, Read! The economy is not quite some mystical unexplained force; it can be unruly, but it is being and has been controlled, by and large, by those in whose private interests it's been to do so. This is the tricky part, though, those private interests. They don't seem inclined to play well with others. That's a lot of what makes this another chapter in a long, hard struggle, with no end yet in sight. But make no mistake, there is the potential for control, and there are ways that control can be exercised. This is just one more area where caution should be our watchword, and not fear.

If we can get past being afraid of the economy, and believe me, we should, we can begin to think a bit about quality. Quality was the theme of Robert Pirsig's Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, which I read over thirty years ago, and don't remember well enough now, but this blog probably has some echoes of the themes of Mr. Pirsig nonetheless. When I meditate, sometimes I'm actually able to let it go enough to get a sense of the subtle quality of this experience, the heady flavor of the never-to-be-repeated here and now, and sometimes I can even slow down enough to really appreciate it, just a little. I've lived long enough, and studied widely enough, to have rededicated myself to Zen meditation over this past year with high confidence that I was doing something worthwhile, something which has stood the test of time and won the respect of thoughtful people all over the world. There is a serious point to meditation, and it's not just playing around, and it's certainly not so I can gain some special power. I imagine there are many of you out there who could sit down for zazen for the first time and manage more relaxed and productive sitting than I've even approached yet, because maybe you're naturally more relaxed and spontaneous than I am. I don't have any illusions that with Zen I'm going to get anything very special that you don't have. I'm just trying to battle it out with some of my own devils, and recognize a little of my own silliness and stupidity, that's all. I just want to remind you that, when you take a moment and just try to appreciate the special quality it has, the world gets a little less complicated for a while. The things that really matter seem to be the ones we most quickly forget, and so much of that gets lost in the battle for superdelegates and votes in Texas.

Love thy neighbor as thyself. That's my definition of enlightenment, and I have no doubt that it's correct. When we look over the world for its greatest wisdom, there really is no serious disagreement. We may express it a little differently, but it's all the same. A Zen master might tell you that you should love everything as yourself, whether it's your neighbor, a blade of grass, or rancid butter. If we can brush aside the webs of all our distractions and just take it in as if we were one of the very first humans sitting silently by the first campfire and letting the magic and mystery of life show its full face to us in each moment, we might take quite a different perspective on the often insane predications on which we base our lives today. The magic's gone. Since I don't have children, I look at every child I see with a wistful glance, and feel some sense of a father's need to protect it from harm. I am sad for those children who will grow up in a world that has been so diminished, where some of the creatures that lived in my childhood have disappeared, and the fittest are left to survive be they man or beast in a world that's defined by a practical harshness of tone. I am sometimes also glad that I don't have children to leave in this world.

When I sit, I don't really try to direct things anywhere. If I'm thinking, ok, then, maybe it's time to think. If I can, of course, I allow myself to fall silent, and I've practiced enough that I can fall silent for a time. What happens at that point, I couldn't say, but I think that some of it connects to my old creative juices, the openness to that part of me that responds in a personal way, and it makes me want to meet all the moments of life with that same sense of shared adventure. It's a bit of a guilty pleasure when I look around, though, and see all the work that remains to be done. The best use I can make of meditation, at least for now, is as a constant reality check, making sure I stay in touch, or get in touch if need be, with my human self, and not allow it to be buried forever by a society that, as a whole, has left almost no humanity at all.

We need to change a lot. We shouldn't fear it. We've already lost so much, we should pause to remember and mourn all that. We are learning, growing, reaching out in hope, and we've been disappointed so often we fear that our hand might be lopped off as we reach out. I can't tell you that this year there'll be no more disappointments. If we go by history, then we're more likely to be duped again than not. But there is something this year that's special. Whether this is the year it can grow and flourish, or will be forced to recede again, I couldn't say, but if I've seen it before, and I think I have, I'd say that it has grown since I saw it last, and that's very good.

Changing The Mindset

2008-02-12T22:43:00.000-08:00

I don't want to just end the war, but I want to end the mindset that got us into war in the first place.
-- Barack Obama (any of a thousand stump speeches)

Feeling sorry for Hillary yet? I am, a little. We don't actually need to get out the handkerchiefs, as she seems to be having a pretty good life, all in all. But I know she's been working hard, and it's got to be pretty devastating at this point. Of course, she still has a shot, but she has to know it's going to be an uphill battle from here. Obama's momentum is incredible, and folks are starting to climb aboard the bandwagon all over the country, and from all the ubiquitous demographics. The mood of the electorate has seen a significant shift.

But I have to say that Hillary, for all her differences with Bush & Co., is nonetheless part of that mindset we need to outgrow. And yes, I know Obama may, when it's all over, prove to have been yet another politician who was nothing but talk. I've chosen to believe that his heart is in the right place, for all his failings, and it looks like there are a lot of Americans besides just me who yearn to believe. That could translate into big numbers for other Democratic candidates this fall as well, riding the coattails of Yes We Can, and give the Democrats increased majorities in both the House and Senate for the 111th Congress in 2009. The stage could be set for dramatic progress soon in all the areas that trouble those of us who think about the world from a humanist perspective: war, human rights, global warming, economic injustice, corporate greed, and so on. So why am I still so uneasy?

Even a man -- or woman -- whose heart is in the right place has an uphill battle in the halls of American government right now, even with solid majorities in Congress. There will still be enormous pressure from powerful influences, there will still be all kinds of elected officials and many of them will still be corrupt, and there will still be a host of Bush appointees, including those new guys on the Supreme Court, to throw monkey wrenches into the machinery at every turn. Nobody said it would be easy.

So why do I think Hillary is part of the outmoded mindset of war? Well, there's her voting record, after all. It's hard to take her spin on the Iraq vote, since I'm one of those odd people capable of remembering back further than two weeks. I was paying attention, at least out of the corner of my eye while writing software, to that vote that authorized W to lead us into battle, and you would have had to be an idiot not to know what was going on. The same was true of last year's Iran vote, although so far we've lucked out thanks to "disloyal" officials who've let us in on the truth about Iran's WMD capabilities. There's more, though. In general, Hillary favors a more hard-line stance with those nations who've dared to disagree with us, and the more you know about U. S. history, the more offensive it really is that we continue to think we can cop these attitudes with countries where we've meddled and disrupted things so horribly, we've got a nerve saying anything at all. But that's America, the last great power, and what we say goes. Iran's been a mess since Operation Ajax in 1953 when we installed our own friendly puppet, the Shah, and all that crumbled into fundamentalism in 1979, another great victory for American can-do government.

All that's to say, the more you know about what the U. S. has really been up to basically since World War II, the more hypocritical the status quo holier-than-thou attitude really seems. Obama is very up front about wanting to change all that, although some of the details of his plans for the future make you wonder. I'm not sure how a huge increase in the size of the military squares with getting us out of the mindset of war, but hey, we've got to take this a step at a time. I'm hoping that Obama isn't a liar, because changing this mindset is really what I'm all about.

It's always been one of the most frustrating aspects of this blog that I can't transmit all the insight I've gained by my own reading to the reader that happens across this page. There are many entries here that point to a lot of good sources, and all I can say is it's important to be well read, because you certainly can't rely on today's media, owned as it is by either right-wing crackpots or huge corporate entities who profit greatly in times of war. You have to access information not generated by those who don't always find it in their best interests to tell the truth. The truth is, the United States has made excessive use of power during the sixty years I've been alive, and it has made life far more miserable, and far less hopeful, for hundreds of millions -- no, let's use the billions designator -- around the world. If the United States were actually to change its mindset, and it's why the whole world is watching this election with bated breath, and began to truly support bottom-up democracies throughout the world instead of dictatorships, elitism and corporate exploitation, the world could be utterly, profoundly, dramatically and beautifully transformed.

Obama has said the right things, and whether most Americans really understand why they're so right I rather doubt, but they really are the right things. They speak to the deepest hopes and most noble aspirations of humanity the world over, not just Americans, but they are a special challenge to those of us who are American, if we and the speaker are truly ready to turn words into action. He talks about hope, and he could soon be in position to turn some of those hopes to reality. I'm sure he knows, as I've discovered, how truly powerful a force the United States of America really is for good or ill, and I'm sure he knows that too often, and for far too long, we have not lived up to that promise.

America is far more than its president, or the thousands of government officials good and bad that may soon be under his charge. America is the home of the world's most powerful multi-national corporations, the world's most overwhelming military force, the most influential media, and so on. In many ways, the new president will find himself (yeah, himself) still a small cog in the larger machine. Of course, he could use all the snazzy new powers George Bush will leave him, such as unaccountable intelligence, mercenary, and justice divisions, an escalated priority for signing statements that makes the president a virtual dictator, and a vast array of judicial and administrative appointees deeply committed to unitary executive power. Or not. I'd certainly prefer that he didn't, because then we'd still have the dictatorship Bush created, just with a new dictator. That would do little to change the mindset.

The truth is, I think he's going to need a lot of help. He strikes me as someone who welcomes a helping hand or two, and I believe there'll be a lot of us anxious to put in a little time for a good cause. There hasn't been much out of Washington lately I'd want to sign onto, but times change. At least we can Hope.

The Stakes

2008-02-02T15:43:00.000-08:00

There is no America. There is no democracy. There is only IBM and ITT and AT&T and DuPont, Dow, Union Carbide, and Exxon. Those are the nations of the world today.

-- Arthur Jensen explaining the world to Howard Beale, from the film Network (1976)

For a little while, many of you are turning briefly from your everyday concerns, and thinking about some of the things I've been thinking about. You can see that things have turned sour in many respects -- Americans are losing their jobs and homes, the economy is in freefall, Iraq is still an atrocity, global warming is heating up, and nuclear nations are imploding and headed for crisis. The promises of the politicians were just so much hot air, as usual, and now, for your quatrennial moment of participation in this process that determines so much of your lives, you're going to begin choosing between the remaining list of candidates, and cast your vote on the direction you want this nation and the world to go.

If you've not been paying much attention, I can't blame you. For years, I was only able to glance from the corner of my eye as I worked 80-100 hours a week on various projects, the last my five-year contribution to Windows Vista. For nearly a year now, I've stepped back from all that, and really have paid attention to things, and have been sobered by how actually reliable my instincts have been, and yet how dulled they were by the distractions of everyday living. I need to make a choice as well, not on "Super Tuesday", but in the caucuses that will take place in the state of Washington on the 19th. I'm fortunate, I suppose, that the candidate I've been supporting is still in the mix, as I've been a Barack Obama supporter all along. Obviously, I will be supporting Obama in the caucus, unless something changes dramatically.

There were other candidates, like Dennis Kucinich, who really stated the problems more plainly, but I've been around for a while, and I know when some things just aren't going to happen. It's sort of amazing that I would assess, correctly, that the candidacy of a fellow white male from my home state of Ohio would be less viable than that of a black man born of a Kenyan father, but this is a pretty amazing time. Now it's time I tried to state some of the problems plainly, since my candidate still has to play the game and garner votes.

There are real issues at stake. This election won't necessarily be the defining moment that marks the turning point for America and the world, but then again, it might be. At the very least, it will make a critical statement about how we perceive ourselves and our current dilemma, and whether the odds for the future will have improved, or sunk to new lows. We're going to be voting for individuals, Republicans and Democrats, and you've heard a lot about the various candidates. I don't feel like speaking in specific terms today. I feel like making some generalities, working out of that instinct that has been validated and sensitized by my year of examining our current milieu.

I've mentioned elsewhere, though I don't think I've mentioned it yet in this blog, having watched a re-broadcast of a talk given by the Dalai Lama on the fifth anniversary of 9/11. I don't recall now where the talk was given, although it was out of doors, sometimes in the rain, with the Dalai Lama holding an umbrella over his head while he spoke. He talked a little about violence and discord, and he spoke about anger, even admitting that he himself gets angry sometimes. Then he made an assertion that stuck with me, claiming that when you're angry, 90% of what you feel is exaggeration. I don't know about the percentage, but I know there's more than a grain of truth in that. That's part of why I want to continue today's post more in generalities than specifically directed toward individuals, because people are more complex in many ways than even some of the most complex forces at work in our society, and people's motives on an individual basis are rarely entirely good or bad. It's probably a little more accurate to point to a direction and call it pernicious than to point to a person and do the same. I'll leave you to extrapolate conclusions on your own.

There are things going on now that reveal the most cancerous, destructive, tormented aspects of human nature imaginable. There are people who, for whatever reasons, are sowing seeds of misery throughout the world to such an extent that it beggars imagination. The word Evil is such a loaded and absolute term, but I don't think it can be avoided here. If we try to view the world as a struggle between good and evil, we become lazy, and quickly oversimplify everything in black and white. It's hard not to characterize individual actions as Evil, like the bombings in Baghdad this week, and as such, it's hard not to characterize the active promotion of conditions that engender such actions as embodying that same Evil, in all respects.

There is a possibility that you could make a choice soon to support someone who really doesn't care about you at all. Not the least little bit. The simple truth is, there is only IBM and ITT and AT&T, or whatever names those corporations operate under now, and they don't care the first thing about you. They aren't people, they're corporations. They care about, are created, charted, and under legislative dictum to care about, only the bottom line. Left to themselves, they will chew up the earth and spit it out in little pieces, strewing pieces of bone and hair through a barren landscape. They are mechanisms, soulless to their core, and they don't want democracy, they don't want you to have equality and dignity, they want profit. We are, indeed, trying to meddle with the primal forces of nature in this election, and whatever happens, we may not be able to meddle enough. But I want you to know that we really do have a lot to lose. It's more than Kucinich talked about, more than John Edwards told us, it's more along the lines of what we heard from Arthur Jensen over thirty years ago. We've allowed it to happen, and now it's reached us in every part of our lives, and we have to choose now if that's still the way that it's going to be.

It's incredible they would actually give us the chance to choose, isn't it? If it sounds too good to be true, then it probably is. What we can really do is mostly push back just a little, hold it off while we marshal our forces and add reinforcements, and keep hanging on. Maybe there is no America and no democracy, but there's still just enough an appearance of it that we can find a reason for hope, and a way to move forward. As we applaud ourselves for all this, millions more will die without hope, ExxonMobil will gouge out more wounds in the earth, and more profits will go to the few while the many are starving. All this will happen almost unaffected by even the most optimistic outcome of this year's selection process. If you think we will find a hero, please think again. This is just about a once-in-a-lifetime chance to make a difference, but even then, in the whole scheme of things, it's a drop in a storm.

Many of you are afraid to take any sort of a chance. Let someone make you a soothing promise, and you're all ears. Daddy would never hurt you, would he? I hate to break it to you. There are an awful lot of bad daddies in the world, and there's been an awful lot of hurt. I wish I could take what's inside me right now and transmit it directly. Once it's put into words, it's all relative and subject to doubts. I'll tell you what I know with the only tools I have. Over the years, we've made a lot of bad choices. We've allowed ourselves to be fooled so many times by all the ways that have been devised to manage the outcome, by propaganda -- don't kid yourself -- that's reached a level of efficiency with the modern media so overwhelming that it's amazing we can have any sense of the truth at all.

We've had no shortage of courageous examples who tell us about how things really are. We've had our Orwells, our Chayevskys, our Zinns and Chomskys. Now we can take just a moment and think if they might not be right, if we might not be sliding in our meek passivity right down the cosmic drain and into oblivion. We have to consider if we, in the long run, are being controlled. I'm asking you now, can you really imagine we aren't? Do you really think that wealth and power are benign? Do you really imagine that their continually redefined definition of our security is any security at all, instead of a dreamy opiate of lies? You think you can keep your nose clean and retire, and the truth is you'll end up working until you die. In one future, the elderly have no recourse and are left to wither, the sick and infirm are discarded, the weak are crushed. The profits are all that will matter, and they will grow, and among the few there will be the opulent trappings of kings. Keep on voting as you have been, my friends. We'll be there soon.

I recorded the film Network and watched it the other night. I'd forgotten that one of my old friends was in it. Her name is Conchata Ferrell (Chatti to us). She and I were part of a circle of friends that saw the protests, and the Manhattan theater scene, in the sixties and seventies. We were part of a very close-knit group that grew apart. Chatti was a close friend of my first, perhaps only, Great Love, and was witness to all my passionate suffering for that girl's affection, and much more over the years. I was always shy, and much of what Chatti knew of me was of someone so twisted up in his emotions he was barely sane, but I know those years meant just as much to her as me, and I bet I still cross her mind in some way when she thinks of that time. If I think of you now as I watched your wonderful movie, Chatti, it's not for the fame you've enjoyed; I've had my successes as well. It's for that time when we all lived with complete intensity, truly candles that burned completely in each instant of time. I hope you're well. You were great in Network. You're better now than you were even then, because you were perfect.

What Is Morality?

2008-01-31T11:59:00.000-08:00

I simply point out that this is an issue on which people of equal intelligence and equal good faith and equal vehemence have differed and have differed within this chamber.

-- Michael Mukasey, responding to Senator Richard Durbin during the Senate Judiciary Committee oversight hearing on 1/30/08

No signs from Heaven come today
To add to what the heart doth say.

-- Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

Yesterday, your friend and mine, Attorney General Michael Mukasey, again refused to voice an opinion on waterboarding. You can watch excerpts from the Senate Judiciary Committee hearing as provided by Democracy Now!. There are a lot of things lately to which my response is mostly sadness, since my anger is reduced to impotence, and this is another one of those things. As quoted above, Mr. Mukasey contends there is an open debate on the issue of waterboarding between people of "equal good faith." I have great concern for those of you who believe that Mr. Mukasey's position has merit. I am at complete loss to discern the good faith inherent in the resurrection of a practice that has been unequivocally perceived as torture for 500 years.

What is morality? What is there to tell us that an action is right or wrong? There are studies exploring what innate sense we might have as a species to guide us in moments of uncertainty, but we don't seem to have settled much. For the most part, we're left to settle this ourselves in our own way, by following the dictates of our faith or our own conscience. I suspect that when things are most uncertain, it is our conscience alone that must determine the course we pursue.

So what is conscience? I'm sure I don't know. I believe conscience is something inherent, but also that it can grow and mature. I believe it's something with which we must take great care, as it's very fragile. I'm not going to be precise here, but I do recall that even the Bush Administration draws the line at interrogation methods that "shock the conscience." In that context, it is assumed that people of "equal good faith" may experience that shock at different points on the spectrum of these activities, which leaves us in considerable difficulty to address the issue on a global scale.

So, I don't have any answers, at least for you. For myself, there is no debate. If you knew everything about me, you might believe that I am moral, or you might not. I certainly do things that some would call immoral, and for that should I be dismissed? If there's anything beyond all our capabilities, it's the attempt to impose what you should or should not believe. If we peer into the central core of American values, you will find this sanctity of the innermost individual beneath all else. I hope it's not lost on you how much that's paradoxical to this can also be found, as we often so gratefully cede the burden of absolute freedom to "higher authorities."

The story of The Grand Inquisitor appears about one-third of the way into Fyodor Dostoevsky's novel The Brothers Karamazov. It's located in Spain during the time of the Inquisition, and describes a brief reappearance in its midst of the Christ, who walks amid the crowds healing the sick and raising the dead. The old Inquisitor immediately calls for His arrest, then visits Him in His prison cell for questioning, but Christ is silent. Unable to contain himself, the Inquisitor offers his defense of the path that his religion has followed, and why Christ Himself had become an impediment to the people's best interests.

We have taken the sword of Caesar, and in taking it, of course, have rejected Thee and followed him. Oh, ages are yet to come of the confusion of free thought, of their science and cannibalism. For having begun to build their tower of Babel without us, they will end, of course with cannibalism. But then the beast will crawl to us and lick our feet and spatter them with tears of blood. And we shall sit upon the beast and raise the cup, and on it will be written: "Mystery." But then, and only then, the reign of peace and happiness will come for men. Thou art proud of Thine elect, but Thou hast only the elect, while we give rest to all. And besides, how many of those elect, those mighty ones who could become elect, have grown weary waiting for Thee, and have transferred and will transfer the powers of their spirit and the warmth of their heart to the other camp, and end by raising their free banner against Thee? Thou didst Thyself lift up that banner. But with us all will be happy and will no more rebel nor destroy one another as under Thy freedom. Oh, we shall persuade them that they will only become free when they renounce their freedom to us and submit to us. And shall we be right or shall we be lying? They will be convinced that we are right, for they will remember the horrors of slavery and confusion to which Thy freedom brought them. Freedom, free thought and science, will lead them into such straits and will bring them face to face with such marvels and insoluble mysteries, that some of them, the fierce and rebellious, will destroy themselves. Others, rebellious but weak, will destroy one another. The rest, weak and unhappy, will come fawning to our feet and whine to us: "Yes, you were right, you alone possess His mystery, and we come back to you. Save us from ourselves."
-- The Grand Inquisitor (Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov)

I will not argue that freedom is not a terrible burden. I have struggled with all sorts of freedom all of my life, and though I've been modestly successful in retaining a measure of freedom, it's come at a great price. It's for that freedom that I have not remarried, that I have broken, for now, my ties to lucrative employment, and devote myself to the exercise of my freedom with as little restriction or consequence to others as I can assemble. I am as free from the daily indignities as my imagination and ill health can ever permit, and it is a burden, and a pressure, that weighs on me more than you know.

I can make almost all my own choices within this framework, or take no stand in any debate and withdraw from view, but in this paradise of uncoerced freedom I find myself explaining myself to Christ just like the Inquisitor, and cannot say if I have any argument more compelling. I only know -- but I know it deeply -- what I feel.

I'm told that Michael Mukasey has a portrait of George Orwell on the wall of his office, and his explanation for this is his admiration for the "clarity" of Orwell's writing. You can find elsewhere on this blog that I recently re-read Mr. Orwell, both 1984 and Animal Farm. There are a couple of spots in 1984 when Orwell's writing achieves a high degree of clarity: one place that contains excerpts from an underground book that exposes the behavior and motives of the Party, and the other when O'Brien, in a scene very reminiscent of The Grand Inquisitor, offers his view of events that have led to the imprisonment/torture of Winston:

You are here because you have failed in humility, in self-discipline. You would not make the act of submission which is the price of sanity. You preferred to be a lunatic, a minority of one. Only the disciplined mind can see reality, Winston. You believe that reality is something objective, external, existing in its own right. You also believe that the nature of reality is self-evident. When you delude yourself into thinking that you see something, you assume that everyone else sees the same thing as you. But I tell you, Winston, that reality is not external. Reality exists in the human mind, and nowhere else. Not in the individual mind, which can make mistakes, and in any case soon perishes; only in the mind of the Party, which is collective and immortal. Whatever the Party holds to be truth is truth. It is impossible to see reality except by looking through the eyes of the Party. That is the fact that you have got to relearn, Winston. It needs an act of self-destruction, an effort of the will. You must humble yourself before you can become sane.
-- O'Brien (George Orwell, 1984)

There are an unsettling number of points with which I am in complete agreement with O'Brien, including doubt whether reality exists in its own right. There is Being, and there is Becoming, and there lies freedom. What you do to inform that Becoming is up to you.

The Smoking Gun

2008-01-26T16:11:00.000-08:00

"Jesse Jackson won South Carolina twice, in '84 and '88. And he ran a good campaign."
-- Bill Clinton today, when asked by a reporter what it said about Obama that it "took two people to beat him."

There isn't a lot one needs to say about this. It's not difficult to imagine any number of possible legitimate responses to the baiting question asked of Bill Clinton by the reporter, responses that might have sidestepped the racially divisive tone that has overshadowed the Democratic debate recently, particularly with respect to the South Carolina primary. That he chose instead to widen the divide I find enormously disappointing.

Early returns indicate that Barack Obama has won a strong victory in South Carolina, and that South Carolina's white male voters have not voted in a particularly race-conscious manner, results which, if they hold, provide their own evidence of repudiation in this modern election of the sort of regressive rhetoric that has resurfaced in recent weeks. I will confess to any South Carolinian who might chance across this blog entry that I was prepared to be more concerned about the maturity of the voters in your state than perhaps I need to be. I am very pleased when any voter selects the candidate of her choice without regard to racial or sexual differences, but by the job qualifications of that candidate. I can only hope that criteria dominates in the remaining primaries as we go forward.

News reports that are responded to in haste, as I've done in this case, can of course come back to bite the responder. There's always the possibility that some context was not provided that would have completely altered the tenor of an exchange. I will be surprised if much new information surfaces to shed more light on Mr. Clinton's response above, and I very much expect that those words are about to haunt the Clintons for the rest of their lives.

I still support Barack Obama, and of course, it has nothing to do with his color. I don't believe he's the perfect candidate, but I do believe he has exceptional intelligence, skills and sensibilities to bring to the office of the presidency in 2009. I have nonetheless continued to hope that Senator Clinton would display more sensitivity to the concerns of progressives such as I believe myself to be, especially since she's still, for the moment, the favorite to win the Democratic nomination. Now that her husband has scraped the bottom of the ethical barrel in South Carolina, some things are going to shift, and we're going to learn some important things about ourselves in the next few weeks.

The vast majority of Americans polled as to whether America is ready for a President who is not a white male have responded in the affirmative, whether that candidate is a black or a woman. That's a great step forward in America, and it's not something we can afford to take for granted. We have seen too often already in this 21st century that the wheels of progress can be reversed. We have a duty to be vigilant if we want to advance the cause of fairness in our society. We have seen that fairness does not require us to lower our sights (something I've been thinking about in depth for future comments), and we've found that our sights get lowered for us if we're inattentive. Now, the stakes in this area have been raised, and I think we're going to have to confront it to go forward.

Bill Clinton cannot be given a free pass for his comment. He has removed all ambiguity from all the somewhat more artfully disguised allusions made previously. There has been a blatant attempt to return our consciousness to the destructive infections that have blinded us until so recently. It's been a deeply damaging effort by the Clintons, and deeply unfair. I hope that we all grow out of the neuroses we've fallen back into as quickly as possible, and learn from this experience across the board. I want to move on just as soon as everyone shows me they're ready.

The Garment Of Destiny

2008-01-22T17:47:00.000-08:00

... what people don’t realize is at the end of his life, King was looking at our crisis, a profound spiritual and material crisis, and he said that we had advanced economic growth at the expense of community and of participation, that our works had become larger and we ourselves had become smaller.
-- Grace Lee Boggs on Martin Luther King, Democracy Now!, January 22, 2008

I'm a white guy. I don't pretend to have that depth of insight into Martin Luther King that would allow me to speak with any authority about his legacy, and I'm a day late in any event. For most of his time in public life, I was attending an all-white school in Southern Ohio. The first time I sat in a classroom with a member of any minority, I was in college, barely two-and-a-half years before he was assassinated. At the time of his assassination, I was taking part in a college underground theater production, and we were all deeply affected, but still too ignorant, as I recall, of the full impact of what had occurred.

Even in the bubble environment of my high school and community, I had already had my encounters with these conflicts of values. As I began my freshman year, I took stock of my own hero worship for Frank Robinson of the Cincinnati Reds and Jim Brown of the Cleveland Browns. It was not lost on me that these were black men, and the strength of my identification with them in their athletic careers spilled over into my identification with their life struggles. I may have lived a sheltered youth, but I could not even then reconcile the still-pervasive attitudes of racism with the realities of the world at large.

If we could be transported now to those times in the late sixties, to April 4, 1968 when King was murdered, we would be overcome with the level of racism, not to mention the widespread jingoism, of that time. By today's standards, we were shockingly primitive. I bring some of that perspective to the table as I look at King's legacy today. Those of you still in your twenties, or even thirties, can't even imagine how far we've truly come, although many of us can see how far we have yet to go. I mention our progress in these areas not to provide an opportunity for self-congratulation, but to note that change does and will occur, for all the rhetorical flourishes of today, and that change will in the long run, God willing, not favor the regressive voices who still compete for dominance in our discussions. The long view of history points to greater understanding between all people, so there is hope.

I've listened to some of King's speeches the last couple of days. Sometimes I was a little irritated by the sing-song inflections of the old-time preacher in his delivery, and wished he would have spoken in more natural tones, but I understood the importance of the religious tradition for what he was and what he needed to accomplish. It's in keeping with the themes of this blog that I voice my appreciation for his faith as well. I've had conversations recently with my family, my aging father and stepmother, regarding topics like Creationism, and whether Barack Obama is really a Muslim. I understand how a changing world can seem like a threat to the simple faith that is the core of America's heartland. It's very important, then, that a man such as Martin Luther King, whose message resonates so deeply within the context of the kind of changes we need today, saw no conflict whatsoever with his fundamental Christian faith. Quite the contrary, his faith was his constant source of strength, and a tie that bound his cause to the "single garment of destiny" into which we are all interwoven.

The challenges of today may be, in some respects, a challenge of faith. While the influence of conservative fundamentalism may be seen by some as declining, I'm not as certain. Even in so-called progressive churches there is a tendency to resist confronting issues directly, and some tacit acceptance of injustices in exchange for a morally deficient stability. The deep grooves of well-travelled paths are still followed, even after they've sunk into ruts that mire us in place. In this atmosphere of failed leadership and looming storm clouds over the climate, the economy, and the misunderstandings between all people, men like Dr. King still have a destiny to reach battered hearts and minds when the need is greatest. Was I the only one to feel that his voice was louder this year, more insistent of its relevance to the issues of today? I strongly think not.

Not only his willingness to lead, but his simple unwavering faith, has made his memory especially powerful this year. He was the proof that we can celebrate, just as we are, that fabric of eternity that's beyond our separate selves, and gives life to what he called a "dangerous selflessness," in me, in you, in our best hopes for the safe harbor ahead in this storm-tossed sea. We have everything it takes, right here this minute, to succeed.

It shouldn't be surprising that Barack Obama would provide the most eloquent expression for this moment when we all have paused to reflect, although the things we've heard have been mostly far removed from such topics. I've been hard on all politicians for their unwillingness to stand firm against some of the worst abuses of the administration in the past year, but the potential of Obama has still tempted me to hope that he might be different. I still can't say, but Obama's speech at King's Ebenezer Baptist Church in Atlanta last Sunday fulfilled all his promise as an inspiring speaker, and then some. The video below has been posted everywhere, and has probably been seen by millions already, but if you haven't heard this speech yet, you're in for quite a treat.

So Long, Bobby

2008-01-18T16:20:00.000-08:00

Bobby Fischer died yesterday, apparently of kidney failure. He was 64. There's an article about it in the Washington Post.

I was fascinated by Fischer and his memorable World Chess Championship match against Boris Spassky back in 1972. I was even more impressed when I began to study his style. My favorite book on chess was Fischer's own, Bobby Fischer Teaches Chess, which still has an honored place on my bookshelf. In the Washington Post article above, Frank Brady, a long-time Fischer associate and biographer, described Fischer's style as "more like Bach than Beethoven." I don't want to pretend to a level of appreciation for classical music that I don't possess, but I wanted to make sure it was noted that Bobby's style was unique, and very striking. For a time, I was fascinated by the way a master's style of chess playing opened an intriguing window into the mind of the player, and mental activity in general. I studied the games of Lasker, Nimzowich, and many others, but Fischer's style was a straight line where the others were arcs and ellipses. For all his idiosyncracies away from the chessboard, his style of play displayed a facility for getting through the bs and cutting right to the chase that was like a streak of lightning through a gray and hazy fog. His chess mind was one of bracing clarity.

Perhaps it was partly my youth that contributed to my strong impressions, but I think there was something timeless about Fischer's brief moment in the limelight. I'm not sure I could say what it means, or why I felt so strongly that I should commemorate his passing here. It's enough that I want to; it's my blog, after all.

I'll miss you, Bobby. You really inspired me, and many others as well, I'm sure. I can't speak to the totality of your life, but in those brief moments when you turned on the light in your mind, you told us something, and I think it was pretty important.

Checkmate.

The Love Of Money

2008-01-16T15:00:00.000-08:00

"A billion here, a billion there, pretty soon, you're talking real money." [Or words to that effect.]
-- Senator Everett Dirksen (R-Ill)

This is pretty personal. I almost got killed off last Sunday. No exaggeration, I'm serious.

I have a condition called COPD, which is the new designer acronym for emphysema. I take several medications like Advair and Spriva, and I've also used an Albuterol inhaler for some time. My condition worsened late last Summer, and I was being prescribed combinations of prednisone (steroids) and antibiotics. The first antibiotic used was labeled SMZ/TMP (short for sulfamethoxazole/trimethoprim, or something like that), but I had a bad reaction. Apparently, I'm allergic to sulfa-based drugs. We tried other antibiotics, with little effect, and I kept getting worse. In December, I had to switch doctors because the one I'd been seeing left private practice, and the new doctor prescribed the Nebulizer for an Albuterol vapor therapy. Initially, when I tried this, I started feeling better, sort of, and mentioned the Nebulizer in my New Year's Day blog. But wait! There's more!

The full name for Albuterol is Albuterol Sulfate. Sulfate, get it? Sulfa-based. Uh-oh! Gradually, my system's intolerance for sulfa drugs began to take over. I'd been having enough physical problems anyway, it was hard to sort out what was going on. I was thinking more that my health was deteriorating badly, and was becoming concerned that I might soon become unable to care for myself. As far back as Christmas, I'd had such difficulty getting around that I whimpered about it a little bit to my therapist (yes, I have a therapist. Surprised?). By last Sunday, January 13th, I was in a pretty bad state.

I was in between NFL playoff games, and I needed food. Going to the super market had begun to be a rather harrowing adventure. I'd become so short of breath that I could only go so far through the grocery aisles without having to find somewhere to pause and catch my breath. By the time I got back to the car, I would be exhausted. Sunday, however, was much worse. I started out by hitting the shower, but I really couldn't breathe at all. I hung to the shower rod a while, lifting my arms to try and provide extra leverage for air to come in, but I was losing ground. Afterward, I lunged into the bedroom and fell backwards onto the (unmade) bed. The coverlets bunched at the bottom of the bed raised my buttocks above my head, and I felt as if I were being waterboarded. My bronchial tubes had slammed entirely shut, and only sheer force sent any air through my system at all. The position I was in wasn't helping, and I was starting to lose it. I was able to force myself to a more level situation, fortunately, and felt marginally better after another twenty minutes or so. If I'd passed out a few minutes earlier, I might not be writing this now.

I went ahead to the grocery store. Basically, I was just crazed at this point. I was already straining badly just to get inside the store, and by that point I knew I was in trouble. I clung to a display as inconspicuously as possible, and looked around. The inside of the store might as well have been the Grand Canyon, it seemed so vast to me, but somehow I made it through and paid for my items. It must have taken forty-five minutes, all for a small hand basket of things. After paying, and having to acknowledge my difficulties with the cashier who couldn't avoid noticing, I grabbed one of the chairs at the pharmacy and sat for a while trying to collect myself and get back to the car. Again someone checked on me, but I assured them I just needed to "catch my breath." The truth was, my bronchial tubes still weren't working at all, and I actually started to worry about the oxygen supply to my brain. I think that part's ok, as I still appear able to solve relatively complex equations (2+2=5, right? I remember reading that in a book last week.).

Long story short, I got back to the car, finally. There were more struggles, and a couple more inquiries about my health just outside the store when I had to pause yet again, but I made it. The experience was oddly like one of those nightmares, when you discover you've been going around unclothed, because I felt so exposed. Things were so obviously bad, I realized I needed to analyze this situation further, and I decided that since the Albuterol Nebulizer treatment had been the most recent change in my routine, it had to go. For the remainder of the day, about all I could do was veg out, and make sure at least some air was working its way through my dysfunctional pulmonary system, and I called the doctor's office on Monday to request changes in my medication.

I'm feeling a whole lot better. I'm not ready for cartwheels, but my bronchial tubes are almost working again. They're not wide-open superhighways, but they're somewhat flexible and yielding, almost like what you'd expect in a living system. I had an extreme reaction to the sulfa-based medication, one that really might have been the last reaction I would have to anything. How does that sort of thing happen? When I switched doctors, I noted on the first papers I filled out for them that I had a probable allergy to sulfa-based stuff, and I probably should have checked out the Nebulizer setup more carefully myself, but hey, I'm the patient, they're supposed to know what they're doing, right?

So, was this malpractice? Oh, I don't know. I don't think the Seattle area is overrun with pulmonologists, so I kind of need these people. I can burn bridges with these doctors, but that may not be the best idea. Did I get superior quality treatment? I will leave the answer to that as an exercise for the reader. I mean, me and the tobacco companies have worked very hard together for many years to get me to this point, and by the time I come to the pulmonologists, it might be understandable if they just throw up their hands and ask what on earth I expect them to do. In a way, in a kind of abstract sense, I can see that. Of course, if it's the very last thing I see, that colors my perspective a little.

So, we've really gotten autobiographical here, but hey, how many more chances might I have to talk about me just a little bit? If I actually should kick off sometime soon here, I'd want to have made this entry in the blog, just for the record. But this ties into a lot of themes, and there's nothing like a stark encounter with mortality to sharpen the focus. My preferred exit would be at the age of ninety while in mid-tryst with a beautiful woman, but my bad habits are going to seriously truncate such expectations. Nonetheless, I'm not ready to go just today, or tomorrow either. I want to see the Cleveland Browns win the Super Bowl, and to see George Bush leave the White House voluntarily to be replaced by a truly progressive leader. I want to learn more about how to live a more enlightened life, and maybe to have some effect on the dialogue we're having now. I want us to think just a little about the basic premises we want to live by, while we still can. I want to be around you folks just a little while longer.

Most of the goods and services we have available now don't really reflect the spirit of craftsmanship that's been so highly valued throughout history. The mechanization of society has placed us on an assembly line on a global scale. Medicine is certainly all about the profit margin, and those in the medical profession are mostly swept along in a direction they might not have chosen for themselves. Even at Microsoft, where craftsmanship is often so very good, I had difficulties maintaining my own standards in that area due to the pace and the volume of what was expected. We're so tilted toward production that we've lost sight of too much of the process, I suspect, and we've lost some appreciation for each little step along the way. Our perceptions are skewed, and I still think it's causing more problems than we've come to accept.

I can breathe a little bit easier now, and each breath is a little more special. If I think about how many breaths I've got left, I'll get in too much of a hurry again. I look around, and I think we've really gone through the looking glass. We know that we have to change things, but we cling to the coattails of anyone who promises to keep us safe. I hate to tell you this, but it's not you they're going to be looking out for when the stuff starts flying. You're going to have to learn to deal with some of these problems yourselves.

We have so much unreasoning fear. In my years in New York theater, and in software development in Columbus, Chicago, and Redmond, I've existed in an exuberantly global environment, filled with talented people from literally all over the world. I've argued world problems over lunch with Jews, Muslims, Buddhists and Christians all at once, and I've come to know just how deeply alike people are the world over. There's a whole lot of globalization I'm not only not afraid of, but look forward to with eager anticipation. I like the people of this world, and while there is certainly plenty to fear, by and large, it's not the people. FDR was right, you know, that fear is still the only thing worth fearing. When we're afraid, we look for protectors and shrink from contact; when we're brave, we speak up for ourselves, and reach out to others. I say, be brave!

In our heart of hearts, we know the right path to take. If we can stay calm, and keep that path in sight, we'll know how to proceed. We'll understand how we need to compromise, how to bridge the divide between one way of doing things and another. It's when we lose sight of the basic values, the essential craftsmanship of our efforts, that we start to flail.

You want to find the truth of Zen to help you go forward? Go out to a lovely spot in the woods, or a peak that overlooks a beautiful vista, and sit quietly for just a moment. The thing you first felt in that first brief moment of silence is all there is of Zen. There is nothing else, except to try and gauge your behavior in the world to be more in line with the simple truth of such moments. It's in that spirit, and with that knowledge of the truth in all our hearts, that I say go forward. Let's see what happens next.

the book

2008-01-10T22:13:00.000-08:00

The book fascinated him, or more exactly it reassured him. In a sense it told him nothing that was new, but that was part of the attraction. It said what he would have said, if it had been possible for him to set his scattered thoughts in order. It was the product of a mind similar to his own, but enormously more powerful, more systematic, less fear-ridden. The best books, he perceived, were those that tell you what you know already.
--George Orwell, 1984

I finished re-reading 1984 (yesterday, actually), and it generated some strong impressions. I'm sure it made an impression when I last read it early in college, but in many respects I certainly wasn't ready for the book at that time. I repurchased the book the other day, since my original copy appears to be yet another book that was somehow bequeathed to my ex-wife during the divorce. It's not actually necessary to buy the book now. You can read it online here: http://www.george-orwell.org/1984/index.html

The passage I've cited above is just after Winston Smith has finished reading a section of "the book", the underground treatise by Emmanuel Goldstein and the shadowy Brotherhood of resistance to The Party. Smith's sentiments echo some of my own reactions to "the book", and to Orwell's book in general. I expected to sense some echoes of today in the themes of this classic, but there were more than echoes. I think that in many ways 1984 already happened. Take, for instance, "the book"'s description of the ideal Party member:

Even the humblest Party member is expected to be competent, industrious, and even intelligent within narrow limits, but it is also necessary that he should be a credulous and ignorant fanatic whose prevailing moods are fear, hatred, adulation, and orgiastic triumph. In other words it is necessary that he have a mentality appropriate to a state of war.
-- excerpt from "the book", George Orwell, 1984

I know these guys!

The shock of recognition occurred all too frequently throughout the book, and "the book". We have, in too many ways, allowed ourselves to become a managed society, with narrow parameters for the range of thought we're actually allowed to have, and certainly for what we're allowed to read and hear from the media. The first quote reminds me of my own reaction to Chomsky. He presents a framework, not for my paranoid fantasies, but rather for my human instincts with regard to the world around me. Orwell's book is a companion volume in that collection.

I might turn this into a longer rant, and perhaps will at some point. Right now, I'm trying just to make the thought somewhat coherent, and publish.

Down with Big Brother.

Seven Years In Hell

2008-01-07T18:11:00.000-08:00

Last Thursday night, after watching Barack Obama's impressive caucus win in Iowa, I wrote a blog entry on Obama's web site. I used to make a fair number of blog postings on Obama's site, until the lack of opposition to Michael Mukasey soured me on the current political scene. Thursday's entry pretty much speaks for itself:

Over this past year, I've become rather cynical and hard to please when it comes to politics, not because I'm contrary, but because people die and people suffer, and we haven't done enough to help them. Tonight, some of my cynicism is in at least a temporary retreat.

I'm proud to be a supporter of Barack Obama. I think we have a long way to go, and I think the fierce urgency of now still means we need to think about those people who suffer needlessly right now, not just in 2009 and after. But we're all growing and changing, and that includes Barack Obama. I believe I saw him grow still more in his caucus acceptance speech tonight in Iowa.

America means so much to us, and it means so much to the world. It's too much to take in, and I wonder that Senator Obama must feel a sense of things that could even overwhelm him if he doesn't remain focused. So far, his focus seems pretty good.

I cannot give myself unreservedly to the political process while laws are still allowed to be broken, and people are still allowed to be tortured, no matter who they are. I am not ready to say we've broken our ties to the corrupt values that have threatened to diminish our sense of honor and country, but we've made a start. I believe Senator Obama has a great chance to be the best thing that's happened to our country since George Washington himself, and I'm not exaggerating. There's a chance that we can make this a momentous time, and it will be even better if we focus on justice and cooperation, and not on power and revenge. I believe Senator Obama can be the man to lead us to a new vision of America. We need to remember that the old vision is still very much with us for those to whom that perspective has given advantage.

I've heard inspiring words, and I've seen an impressive victory. I don't prefer cynicism, but we all have to admit that what we need is action. There are many who wait for America to put its mighty power to best use, and there are some who may not be around to see it. The urgency of now is at its most fierce for them.

With polls showing Obama leading in New Hampshire by as much as 13%, and the media beginning to recognize the phenomenon that Obama is, the race for the Democratic nomination may soon be over. You never know about these things, of course, but it is possible to feel a little optimistic while remaining cautious.

If you need a reminder as to why America is responding to a hopeful progressive message, lawyer Mike Papantonio, who teams with Robert Kennedy Jr. on Air America every Saturday on a show called Ring of Fire, produced a memorable version of his periodic diatribes that he offers in a segment called "The Pap Attack". This one was aired last Saturday on the show, and you can watch and listen to more Papantonio "attacks" on GoLeft TV.

I'll stop for now with a brief quote from a novel I've been re-reading, for the first time since early college:

Until they become conscious they will never rebel, and until after they have rebelled they cannot become conscious.
-- George Orwell, 1984

Democracy Now!

2008-01-03T13:34:00.000-08:00

Ideally, I prefer to jump around the various alternate media outlets when I point to sources that I think are relevant, but Amy Goodman's Democracy Now! has outdone itself with today's broadcast. Here is a link:

http://www.democracynow.org/shows/2008/1/3

The show explores two topics of great relevance to our lives -- the presidential race, and the situation in Pakistan. The very fact of this broadcast might be deemed as sufficient evidence that the mainstream media is failing us completely. There is probably as much or more very important information provided here within a few minutes than all the mainstream media coverage combined. In addition, it features, among other thought-provoking speakers, journalist Allan Nairn, who views the election with an unashamedly "Chomskyesque" perspective. I almost felt I was listening to Chomsky himself, although that's uncharitable. Mr. Nairn is quite eloquent in his own right, and there's nothing particularly esoteric about Professor Chomsky's perspective, anyway. The astonishing thing is when you apply the most basic morality to the topic of American foreign policy, the problems of our world quickly achieve the status of actions for which we must take personal responsibility and endeavor to correct as quickly as possible.

The theme of the coverage for the presidential race was a look at the people who are solicited to advise the various candidates. The rogues gallery of advisors in every camp offers a dim prospect for real change from any corner, including the most progressive. It lends credence to my claim on New Year's Day that this crop of hopefuls is likely to still disappoint, and emphasizes how much work we need to do to bring new perspective to American government.

The conclusion reached by Goodman, Nairn and fellow journalist Kelly Vlahos was that there is almost no difference between the candidates, even across party lines. My own opinion is there is some significant difference regarding some domestice policies, and even in foreign policy, which was the focus in this context. As we've seen all too often, however, foreign policy problems result from both Democratic and Republican administrations. Mr. Nairn is at his most eloquent when he makes the most natural, and most Chomskyesque, connection between American foreign policy and human rights abuses around the world. Speaking of Hillary Clinton's advisors, for example:

Madeleine Albright, she was the main force behind the Iraq sanctions that killed more than 400,000 Iraqi civilians. General Wesley Clark, he was the one who ran the bombing of Serbia in the former Yugoslavia, came out and publicly said that he was going after civilian targets, like electrical plants, like the TV station there. Richard Holbrooke, in the Carter administration he was the one who oversaw the shipment of weapons to the Indonesian military as they were invading—illegally invading East Timor and killing a third of the population there, and he was the one who kept the UN Security Council from enforcing its resolution against that invasion. Strobe Talbott, he was the one who, during the Clinton administration, oversaw Russia policy, a backing of Yeltsin, which resulted in turning over the national wealth to the oligarchs and a drop in life expectancy in much of Russia of about fifteen years—massive, massive death. And you have various backers of the Iraq invasion and occupation and the recent escalation, people like General Jack Keane, Michael O’Hanlon and others. That’s just Clinton.

Mr. Nairn is actually being somewhat conservative in his accounting of such events as the tragic sanctions on Iraqi citizens. It was in 1999, I believe, that Madeleine Albright was asked on 60 Minutes about reports that the sanctions had led to the deaths of half a million Iraqi children. She responded that she thought it was worth it. I remember that one.

None of the candidates look very impressive regarding their choice of advisers, including Obama, and when you consider how independent Obama's internet financing could allow him to be, it's very troubling. I'm hoping that, as we become more clearly aware that we are our brother's keeper, we can continue to put more people in office who balk, as we would, at these abuses. I'm betting that most of you, when you're made aware of what's going on, will be active in helping to put some genuinely moral, and preferably courageous, people in office, and as long as facilities such as this open internet -- and Amy Goodman's Democracy Now! -- exist, you're going to be made aware.

The second segment about Pakistan is just disturbing, and well worth your time if you watch the entire show. It's a more realistic look at Benazir Bhutto, along with legitimate concerns over how many Al Qaeda sympathizers might have infiltrated Pakistan's half-million strong military with potential access to their nuclear weapons. Can you say "blowback"?

All we can do is take things one step at a time. Vote for your candidate, and work on those candidates after they're elected, in particular to enable full public funding of elections. One of the problems with public funding is the courts tend to view spending limits as unconstitutional, and they're likely to find new justifications to limit public funding in the future. This is probably an excellent candidate for constitutional amendment. We have-nots are going to have a tough time battling the haves until big money is neutralized in election politics.

I can lead you horses to water, but it's still up to you. Please, please watch this show. I promise you it will be among the most valuable time you spend on this year's presidential election.

Point Zero

2008-01-01T15:57:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! We're starting fresh, sort of. If anyone thinks 2007 wasn't a long, strange year, I can't believe you were actually paying attention. We began with a new, Democratic-led Congress in Washington, and ended with an assassination in Pakistan. Along the way, 900 more American soldiers were killed in Iraq, 110 were killed in Afghanistan, and untold thousands around the world died needlessly. Now that 2008 is here, there is some sense that this will still be a year "on hold", waiting still another year for the end of the Bush Administration's "assault on reason", as Al Gore might describe it. With luck, there'll still be something left to salvage by 2009, but waiting still seems an insufficient response to the problems we're facing.

Amy Goodman's Democracy Now! broadcast reviewed 2007 with a two-part retrospective that aired on December 31st and today. Here are the links to the online webcasts of those shows:

2007 in Review: Power Politics and Resistance, Pt. 1
2007 in Review: Power Politics and Resistance, Pt. 2

Democracy Now! is somewhat of an acquired taste. Their budget is so low that their broadcasts can seem amateurish, but it's an incredible resource for news from a more international perspective. The 2007 retrospective certainly lacks the glitz that might have been provided by the major networks, had they seen fit to provide such programming, and as such they require a little effort on the part of the viewer, but they're well worth it. Two hours of video clips is hardly sufficient to qualify as a definitive look at 2007, but this panoramic view is useful as we begin to look ahead. Please take some time to look at these programs, to think about where we've been, and hopefully, what we can start to do to change things.

It's been a very strange year for me. I've seen my personal health decline somewhat alarmingly, but I've had some improvement from a breathing device called a Nebulizer. Of course, I might see much more improvement if I could fully break myself of smoking. I'm working on it, but the addiction has a serious hold on me. At least this nearly full year of withdrawing from active participation has allowed me to reflect on the world, and I've learned more than I thought possible. Really. I want to take a few minutes here to share some of my thoughts about last year and this, and I promise to lend my voice on this blog from time to time in the coming year, especially if I think I see something that should be getting more attention.

When I started this blog last April, I hoped that my MidWest upbringing and eclectic background might help to bridge the gap between the liberal and conservative elements of our society. I still believe I have something to contribute in that regard, and I still believe that most people want the same things I do, if we could only find better common approaches to solving problems. However, it's been awfully tough to remain calm and conciliatory these past several months, as I've had to admit that some bad things happen because bad people want them to happen, and that some of those bad people ostensibly work for us. I've gained considerable perspective by reading history, a lot of it, by many authors, and of course, by reading a number of books about today's political crises. I've seen that greed, religion and racism have set patterns of history in motion that are paralleled by many things in today's world, and I'm not sure how much the extensive knowledge I've gained is reflected through the public at large, most of whom are still too busy making a living to pay close attention. I suspect even the busiest of you are much less naive than when Nancy Pelosi first banged her gavel last January. I know many of you can't take the time to study that I have, and I wish I could provide more than the links and encapsulations that I have to offer, but I know you're listening, and I know you share my sense of urgency about these times. I'll try to help as I can, but I have to focus on my own development as well.

I believe we've had too little sense of the role we can play in the outcome. The presidential campaigns have reinvigorated our sense of participation somewhat, but for now I'm concerned that the current crop of politicians may still disappoint. That's caused me to retreat from my earlier, more active involvement in the campaigns, but it's no reason to give up hope. I believe more people all over the world are becoming aware that democracy is a powerful tool that has yet to be fully leveraged, and I think it's as much a time of great hope as one of great peril. But perils exist, and we can't afford to be personally complacent. It's really up to each one of us to start making our little bit of difference in the world. If we fail, at least we tried, but I don't want to fail.

We don't have all that many new years in a single span of life. Double digit numbers is pretty much all we can hope for, and I've already used up the bulk of those double digits. I'm not inclined, from a selfish standpoint, to be particularly patient about some of the changes I want to see. I want to see some real progress in my lifetime, and it's hard to see how many delays, and how many destructive backward movements, have occurred in the last few years. We've seen the gap between rich and poor return to the disparities of the Gilded Age at the turn of the twentieth century. We've seen the United States Government sanction illegal wars and torture. Worse yet, I've seen a long history of regressive behavior as far too central to United States policies, from the genocide of native Americans to violent imperialistic pursuits all over the world, that makes the Bush Administration seem less an aberration than simply an exposure of abuses that have been with us all along. The battles between the haves and the have-nots have been going on for thousands of years, so it seems foolish to think we can change things. I submit that we have more ability to do just that than you may realize. What we need to have is the will.

If I could recommend one book from 2007, it would probably be Paul Krugman's The Conscience of a Liberal. It's not that I think the book tells the whole story. There are dark elements that I don't believe are given sufficient weight in Mr. Krugman's book. But it's a very hopeful book, and I believe that much of that hope is realistic. It's good to remind ourselves that we live in a country where we can still have a say in how things should be done, and about the really positive things we can achieve on a "bipartisan" basis, as it were, when we cut through the rhetoric and begin to treat each other as human beings. I believe Mr. Krugman went to a lot of effort to make this book an easy read, and I heartily recommend it. We need to start 2008 with a sense of hope, and this book can generate some of that feeling.

It may still be that religion is both the greatest hope and the greatest threat for humanity. I don't personally believe that Jesus would be anti-science if he walked the earth in the 21st century. His approach was appropriate for 2000 years ago, but overall, His words reveal an open mind, not a closed and narrow one. I still think we have trouble understanding His message. His focus has always been on what's in the core of your heart, not what's visible of the outer trappings. I think we need to revisit our attitude to our neighbor, whoever he or she may be, and rediscover our common bonds regardless of race, color, and yes, creed. If you can truly start loving your neighbor as yourself, I think you'll start to see that religion means a lot more than which church you belong to, and how much work we need to do to turn things around. If we keep hurtling down the path of I'm right, you must be wrong, 2008 might make 2007 seem like the good old days.

I think I've "learned" a lot from my persistence with meditation through 2007. I'll admit my level of achievement, if we're tracking these things, is pretty low compared to the Dalai Lama. I've had occasion to benefit from persistence before, however. I want my meditation studies to be my third, and perhaps final, accomplishment in this life, and I believe that goal stems from a desire to continue to be useful to society in some small way, and not from a desire to retreat. I've mentioned Point Zero before with regard to meditation, and I've confessed that I've not really reached it. Actually, I think Point Zero is somewhat of a misnomer. I think it's really more like Point 50%, as in centering the personality and regaining balance. Along the way, I do need to be able to stop my wandering thoughts, however, so the terminology can be confusing. But I don't know if there's ever some really dramatic moment when we become enlightened and reborn. I think it's more like we're all pretty well enlightened by now, but we're challenged to respond to life in an enlightened way. Meditation can help to toughen the mind and reflexes and allow more appropriate, less self-conscious, responses to our environment. I shouldn't say much more until my experience is better. I think I've had some small flashes of insight, momentary but quickly forgotten and irreclaimable, that still have strengthened my faith to continue just trying to shut up and listen. And on occasion, if I think I have something to say, I'll write something here.

Meantime, have a safe and happy 2008. I have high hopes for all of us.

Peace On Earth

2007-12-22T15:21:00.001-08:00

We can do it!

Democracy

2007-12-11T22:40:00.001-08:00

I've been meaning to come back to this blog. It's still useful as a journal, but I'm not sure I would have known what to write these last few weeks. I've needed to allow some things to redefine themselves. A lot of this was prompted by the confirmation of Michael Mukasey as Attorney General, as I've written about before dropping out of sight. But, honestly, I've also been quite ill. I've been started on a new treatment, and though it seems to be working less well today, on Sunday and Monday I started feeling much improved, so I'll give it time. I'd love to feel like I could get out and do more things. I certainly have a wish to be more active. The spirit is willing. We'll see.

So much has happened in the last few weeks that I couldn't review it all here even if I wanted to. There's more torture in the headlines, of course. That stuff just never seems to go away once it gets started, does it? Part of my paranoid brain wonders if the "torture tape" revelations weren't as much a distraction from the NIE scandal as anything else, although the administration is still doing a dance around that issue. In any event, as usual, when things come out, there's almost too much to process, and practically none of it is dealt with in any depth. Meantime, we're still spilling oil, killing monks, and raping young women in Baghdad, with no end anywhere in sight.

So, how've you been?

I still can't rekindle any enthusiasm for presidential politics, or even for Oprah, although I taped the Iowa rally on C-SPAN, and watched it afterward. I'm not sure why my disgust hadn't hit critical mass before now, but allowing Mukasey's confirmation without a fight was the last straw. I'm not ready to tear down everything, but I'm convinced there are an awful lot of seriously compromised people in government now. That's not really a big surprise, I guess, but this level of compromise, on these kinds of issues -- torture, corruption, lying, etc. -- this close to the awareness level of the general public puts things into bold new territory. If things happened as they should, an awful lot of people would go down hard. That shouldn't be a huge tragedy. We have 300 million people in this country. We can find people to take their places. I don't think most of that is going to happen, of course, barring more surprises, but just because the corruption may be around for some time to come doesn't mean I should give up. It's going to be a long struggle, and at least some of the candidates are still better than others. Just hold your nose next November, and go ahead and vote for somebody.

I've been reading plenty, and again, there's too much to review. I finally got around to reading Naomi Klein's The Shock Doctrine, which I highly recommend. I've continued to read Noam Chomsky's books extensively, as well as watching some of the massive amounts of video featuring Chomsky on the internet. I've gotten to know his thinking much better, and Naomi Klein's work is an excellent extension of that effort. There are, and have been, so many actions that are difficult to view as anything but rapacious greed and powerlust that it does seem like a conspiracy. Fortunately, thinkers such as those mentioned here realize it's a lot more complicated than that. There are bad people, of course, and we see some of them on television every day, but there's also just the whole mechanism, larger than any one of us, driving corporations to profit or die, driving reporters to toe the line or be ignored, driving politicians to compromise or be smeared. It feeds on itself, and some of the worst offenders just want to be rescued, I think.

I'm still searching for redefinitions, and I don't know yet how regular I'll be with blog entries, but it feels like these entries are worth doing, and I'll just have to play it by ear. I've been meditating, of course, both koan and pure zazen styles of meditation. Koan meditation still presents issues for me. Perhaps there's a way to take an orderly approach to koan meditation, but I'm not so sure. Its intention, for me, is to focus so intently on the question as to force a mental crisis. I've had these crises in small ways before. They're like the Eureka! moments when we've examined a problem from all sides, and just when we're about to give up the answer pops into our heads. I've had those moments in theater after agonizing about an interpretation for my character, and many times in programming when the third rewrite of a module left me in despair before I suddenly saw the problem. That's koan meditation. But I'm having trouble taking "Mu" seriously, I'm ashamed to admit. It's a very serious question after all, because it's like asking Who am I? Perhaps because it's so serious, and not a programming problem or an alter ego on stage, that I'm still reluctant to give myself to it fully. I'm 60 years old, folks. I may have had all the mental crises I'm going to have. That's not my final word on this topic, but meantime, my pure zazen has an element that I'm tempted to call satisfying. I feel a sharpness to my attention that feels useful in helping me to collect myself, and every little bit helps.

Here are a couple of short Chomsky videos I plucked off YouTube. I may come back later and add comments for them. But Chomsky speaks very simply about politics. He leaves the linguistic scholar behind when he talks about propaganda and democracy, and he gets right to the point. The videos -- approximately 9 and 7 minutes, respectively -- present a Chomsky overview. If you want to know the gist of what Chomsky is saying, it's right here. It's very important to flesh it out with the details, as I have, but the basic message is very straightforward, and extremely thought-provoking, if you haven't heard it. In both videos, Chomsky quotes James Madison from The Federalist Papers (which I'm also reading, albeit slowly) when he says "the primary function of goverment is to protect the minority of the opulent from the majority", then proceeds to explore the implications of that approach as it's filtered down to our lives today. As old as the story seems, it's still a class struggle in our society. It's a lot of other things as well, of course, but the class system is a primary obstacle to a more reasonable sharing of responsibilities, and it's a very important part of the problem.

I just finished watching an excellent video on LinkTV featuring the Dalai Lama. It was made back in 2003, but it's fascinating, as journalists, politicians, business people, and environmentalists discussed ethical issues with the Dalai Lama. It's in the spirit of people such as the Dalai Lama I would like to base my continuing quest for a positive way forward through the dilemmas we're facing. I think we're going to have to deal with some very tough things. I think I've been a little bit guilty of naivete, thinking that we might be close enough to really positive efforts that just a little push here or there might be enough to cause dramatic results. It's disheartening to think that, difficult as it already seems, it's even harder than you thought, and there aren't many real saviors on the horizon. As Gandhi once said when asked what he thought of western civilization, "I think it would be a good idea."

Noam Chomsky on Corporate Propaganda

America is not a Democracy

Nowhere To Go

2007-11-19T22:28:00.000-08:00

I wanted to reach some sort of resolution of the quandary I've been in before I posted anything again, but here I am, still stuck in the same rut. Everyone else has "moved on" from the confirmation of Mukasey as AG, and I have too, in a way. I just don't particularly like where I've moved on to.

The vote, if you recall, was 53-40, and it takes 41 to block the vote. That means that any single one of the presidential candidates could have arrived on the scene and made like Mr. Smith goes to Washington, blocking the vote, filibustering if necessary, and saving Congress and the Department of Justice from approving a man who refused to condemn torture. It might have been Clinton, Obama, Biden, Dodd, or even McCain. But no one showed. Personally, I haven't been able to shake the idea that, for such a thing to happen, every member of Congress must be corrupt. So, I've backed away from involvement with Barack Obama's presidential campaign, and backed away from politics in general. Maybe there's some notion in my head that, if I don't tie in with the politicians, I can retain my sense of honor, but I'm not sure if that really holds up. In any event, I'm not much inclined to be enthusiastic about the campaigns now. I watched the CNN debate last week, and thought it was pretty obscene, for the most part. That's been hashed and rehashed, so I won't go through it here. I guess I've spent enough time talking about my Quixotic quest for something really noble to happen, too. There's precious little tolerance for anything truly noble in Washington, after all. They'd much rather be waterboarding.

So, where to? I'm not sure, actually. Definitely, things have changed for me. Am I an anarchist now? Well, I don't know about that, but I'm pretty disillusioned. I think my natural tendency is toward the naive and innocent, and I'm perpetually crestfallen when the real world turns out very differently. You have to admit this is a pretty extreme case, though. Yeah, we torture, so what? Let's move on.

I can still meditate, and I'm trying to work with koans. If you've never heard of a koan, here's a little background. There are generally considered to be two schools of Zen, one called Soto and the other called Rinzai. Normally, I adhere to the Soto school of thought, with an emphasis just on sitting zazen, or some similar activity. The Rinzai method often includes the study of koans. In reality, there is no great divide between the two schools. My favorite Zen master, Shunryu Suzuki, refers most frequently to Dogen among the old masters, but Dogen frequently used koans. The "knock" on koans, if there really is one, is that, although they can yield profound insight in a relatively shorter time than pure zazen, it's possible to master many koans without necessarily achieving some of the deeper effects that might lead to becoming a more mature and compassionate individual. In other words, a koan may sometimes act as a shortcut to insight, but with all the drawbacks shortcuts usually entail.

My very superficial comparison hardly does justice to koan study, which can be every bit as rigorous as pure zazen sitting, and have just as profound an effect on the personality. Real koan study involves many hundreds of koans requiring a lifetime to master, but my comparison does contain a grain of truth. Even so, I think it's useful for me to strive for a little extra insight right now, so I'm studying the classic koan known as Mu. The word Mu is Japanese for what may have been Wu in the original Chinese, and translates loosely into No, or perhaps Nothing. It was the response master Joshu gave when asked if a dog has the Buddha nature. In studying this koan, the point is just to focus on Joshu's response until Mu is fully understood. If that sounds like nonsense, that's because it is. Other koans, such as "what is the sound of one hand clapping", or "what is your original face before you were born" are just as nonsensical from the everyday point of view. A koan is unique in that it expresses a spirit that is uniquely Zen, and it's that spirit that the student is tasked to revitalize within his or her own spirit, in such a way that a Zen master might explore the student's understanding of Mu, or the sound of one hand, until the master is sure that the student has fully understood the koan. That understanding can only be gained by a dedicated, whole-hearted effort by the student. It might take months, or it might take years. I have tried to come to terms with Mu for about 34 years, albeit mostly as a dilettante. Now, I'm in the position to make a concerted effort, so here goes.

Perhaps I'm switching to koan study out of my deep frustration with everything that's going on, but it's just an experiment of sorts. In all likelihood, I'll switch back to the more even-keeled approach of Soto Zen before long. Koans have the potential to get you all worked up, partly because they don't make any rational sense no matter how you look at them. The fact that they do make sense, in a distinctly Zen way, can be even more maddening as the frustration builds.

For either method, the three pillars of Zen still provide the necessary support: great faith, great doubt, and great determination. I think I've always had faith, whether it's great or not, I suppose remains to be seen. Everything that's happened recently adds to a great sense of doubt, and I'm in a position right now to doubt most everything. That leaves great determination. I'm still working on that one.

The Fierce Urgency of Now

2007-11-12T18:07:00.000-08:00

I am running in this race because of what Dr. King called "the fierce urgency of now." Because I believe that there's such a thing as being too late. And that hour is almost upon us.
-- Barack Obama

I've been a staunch Barack Obama supporter for some months now, but I've been mostly inactive for the past few days, just as I've avoided this blog. I've been somewhat busy, but I've also been scanning the news, the internet sites, and elsewhere for some story, some reaction that would make me feel that I'm not alone trying to deal with the feelings I've been having. They started the middle of last week, when I realized the confirmation of Michael Mukasey for Attorney General was inevitable, and I guess I should have been prepared for the abrupt swiftness of the actual confirmation vote and the swear-in, but it hit me like a sucker punch to the solar plexus, and for someone who already has breathing issues, I felt like it did a lot more than take my breath away. I just didn't know what to do anymore. I still don't.

I watched a video of an inspiring speech Obama gave over the weekend in South Carolina, and I'm embedding a YouTube video of that speech at the bottom of this blog. I recommend that you watch this video, especially if you like fiery political speeches. This is a good example of the charisma of Barack Obama. But I'm not necessarily here to praise Barack Obama. I'm trying to write about the difficulty I'm having supporting him, or any other candidate, right now.

There was plenty of protest over Mukasey while the Judicial Committee was deliberating, but once Schumer and Feinstein voiced their support for his confirmation, it was stunning how quickly and smoothly the confirmation process proceeded from there. Obama had issued his three-paragraph objection, but neither he nor any other Presidential candidate even bothered to cast a vote when the decision was passed to the Senate. Mukasey more or less breezed through with a 53-40 vote, and was sworn in within 24 hours, I believe. Obama continued to make speeches in Iowa, and fielded questions from Tim Russert yesterday on Meet The Press, where the question of Mukasey never arose. Now, as I look through the stories, articles, and blogs, everyone seems to have forgotten all about it, and moved on. Everyone except me.

I'm still sort of having a problem adjusting to this torture idea. Perhaps I need counseling. I have a problem that no one but me seemed to think that an Attorney General of the United States who wouldn't denounce waterboarding or declare limits to Presidential power was so unacceptable that it had to be fought, by blocking the vote, filibustering, or whatever had to be done. I have a really serious problem that the candidates thought they could largely ignore the whole thing. Finally, I have a problem realizing that so few, if any, have the same problem as I do. Is there something wrong with me? Perhaps I should rethink torture, and maybe cannibalism and child molestation as well. It's possible I've been too harsh in condemning these practices. Different strokes, and all that.

The quote at the top of this blog is from the speech you can watch at the bottom of this entry. I found it somewhat ironic in my current state of mind, because I take "the fierce urgency of now" perhaps a bit more literally. When I think of now, I think of today, not next November. Perhaps many view the ugly politics that have brought us Michael Mukasey as merely the death throes of a discredited administration, but I rather doubt that the Bush Administration people feel the same, nor does the Republican party and its wealthy financiers. It seems to me that Washington corruption continues pretty much unabated, except for some scattered resignations that allow a few on the hot seat to lay low for a while. In this time right now, it almost seems that everyone, in fact, might be corrupt.

When I watch and listen to Obama's speech, I certainly don't feel like I'm listening to someone who's been corrupted, but I still can't forget that he allowed what should have never been allowed. My mental image of the Statue of Liberty now has her holding a piece of gauze and a jug of water. We've been sullied, pulled down into the mud right with this corrupt Administration, and by confirming Mukasey, we have become complicit. That's why I've taken this so hard, and that's why I believe any Senator with a voice and a conscience should have filibustered for days on end to prevent this. I don't know why I should have expected it, since no one except for Kucinich has done anything really brave in Congress for quite some time, but for me there is a special filth to this one, and I've taken it pretty hard. I've taken enough hard hits in life to recognize when something is going to take some recovery time, and this is one of those times. Whether I can justify snuggling up to our political system again, once I feel better, is a question I just can't answer right now.

I have been reading, though. I read Paul Krugman's The Conscience of a Liberal, which was high on my current reading list. I enjoy Krugman's writing style. Although he's an economist, his primary concern is people, not numbers, and he has a flair for packing information into interesting and highly readable prose that kept me turning the pages. His analysis of the evolution of the two political parties over the past century was very insightful, and very blunt in illustrating the manipulation of such elements as racism to drive the political agenda of what he terms "movement conservatives." Paul seemed so unrelentingly optimistic in his view of the future, though, I sometimes wondered what he was smoking. Perhaps I needed a dose of his irritating cheeriness in my current state, but it managed to grate on my nerves more than once. Perhaps if I had the ability to turn out a summary as succinct and withering as the following, I'd be more optimistic about the future, too:

Thanks to their organization, the interlocking institutions that constitute the reality of the vast right-wing conspiracy, movement conservatives were able to take over the Republican Party, and move its policies sharply to the right. In most of the country this rightward shift alienated voters, who gradually moved toward the Democrats. But Republicans were nonetheless able to win presidential elections, and eventually gain control of Congress, because they were able to exploit the race issue to win political dominance of the South. End of story.
-- Paul Krugman, The Conscience of a Liberal

I look at the elements in power now, and think about the people with bottomless bank accounts who support them, and I have trouble feeling sunny about the future, even if I manage to forget about global warming and Pakistan. Partly because the arguments of Paul Krugman and many others are so well honed, and partly because so many react so strongly to the message of Barack Obama, I worry even more about the other side. The progressive side has reasoned argument all in its favor, while the other side has money, racism, fundamentalism and Blackwater. Did I mention the other side has money? When the arguments for change are as strong as they are now, and the realities are instead Michael Mukasey and immunity for telecoms, I sense a disconnect that has me reeling for the moment. I'm not so sure this is going to be as easy as people think, and I'm not even so sure about the people.

Whenever I think I'm going to be free to just build on themes that I've introduced here, something comes along to put a monkey wrench in the whole machinery. I still have a lot of things to sort out, but in the meantime, this is a very good speech, so enjoy it.

What, Me Worry?

2007-11-07T22:29:00.000-08:00

"You are old, father William," the young man said,
"And your hair has become very white;
And yet you incessantly stand on your head--
Do you think, at your age, it is right?"

"In my youth," father William replied to his son,
"I feared it might injure the brain;
But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,
Why, I do it again and again."

-- Lewis Carroll

I took my last prednisone today, hopefully for at least a while. That stuff makes you jumpy. It upsets your sleep patterns, it's no help at all in meditation, and I've been taking the stuff in big doses the last two months. It's been some benefit, not as much as I'd hoped, but I'll take what I can get, especially while I muddle through a transition in doctors, since the pulmonologist I'd been seeing has decided to leave his private practice. Meantime, my prescription for Advair (yay, another steroid!) unexpectedly expired, and I felt briefly as if I had myself fallen through the cracks of our dysfunctional medical system. By chance, I had visited a colleague of my new doctor some time back, which is more than I can say for my new doctor, who won't see me until next month. Only that visit to his colleague prompted his office to send a renewal of that prescription. Without it, and with my old doctor off to who knows where, I would have been in a world of hurt. Welcome to the Great Society!

Be that as it may... at least I'm getting a little more comfortable in my meditation again, with far fewer drugs in my system. Since I'm not so jumpy, I'm feeling less bored with sitting still, and I'm able to be consistently more quiet overall, and it feels good. I might even try to talk a bit about Zen this time. Let's just throw caution to the wind, what do you say!

If you're interested in Zen, but don't know much about it, I would certainly suggest you visit a Zen Center near you, and to buy or borrow some good books on the topic. I would hate to think you learned all you know from me. But I'll be happy to describe a little of what I do. You can compare it to what the experts say. I'm just a semi-retired actor/programmer. I know nothing.

I have the requisite Zen cushions, called a zafu and a zabuton, wherein the small round pillow (the zafu) is placed on the mat (the zabuton), so that one can sit on the small zafu cross-legged, with good support, and meditate in relative comfort for extended sessions. Of course, I don't always use the pillows. Sometimes, I defer to age, or perhaps laziness, and simply sit cross-legged in my large recliner chair. I personally think some formalities are overrated, but then, I told you I'm not the expert. For me, the important thing is to sit with good balanced posture and a straight, upright back. I really can't do the lotus; my legs are fairly muscular and thick, and they weren't close to being flexible enough even when I was meditating in my twenties. The lotus is better if you can do it, but mostly my legs are just crossed. I appreciate that form is very important in Zen, but I try to honor that mostly with my straight back and my cupped hands forming my mudra.

The mudra is very important. I relax my arms, but keep them slightly away from my sides, and lay the fingers of my left hand over those of my right, in front of me. My thumbs touch each other gently to form the "cosmic" oval close to my navel. My mudra has become pretty solid, my hands relaxed, and from there I just breathe, and focus on following my breathing.

I suppose the most difficult thing for anyone to deal with in zazen, other than some discomfort maintaining the zazen posture, is what to think. I have read and listened to many Zen masters on that topic for many years, and while they've all mostly said the same things, I have managed to remain confused for most of those years. Now, I'm much more ready to take what they said at the face value, and literally just think about each breath going in and out. I've dealt with the frustration of that seeming complete waste of time, and I've let my mind wander in fantasies more often than I'd care to admit. After a while, though, it starts to sink in, and I just pay attention.

I know the most completely wasted times I've spent in meditation were the times I felt like I was "making progress" toward being a "better me." Master Shunryu Suzuki would tell me that no time is really wasted, but it seems like nothing disrupts meditation faster than trying to see how well it's working. If you've read Buddhist literature of any kind, you know that the desire for personal gain is our fatal attachment, the root cause of all our pain and suffering. But that seems a very conceptual thing, and it's hard to imagine not being attached to this world and our ability to make ourselves useful to it in some way. Fortunately, Zen doesn't put much stock in concepts.

Now when I meditate, I feel the difference between the calm moment by moment experience of sitting and breathing slowly, and the tense diffusion of thoughts as I focus on goals and achievements while each of those moments drift slowly away. I am learning to appreciate those homely little moments on my zafu or chair, even if they're not very special. It's a little easier to see now that those moments will never come again, and if I don't enjoy them just a little bit now, the chance is lost forever. I know that when I stopped trying so hard to be a Zen master in my meditation, I started to feel just a little bit of what they must have felt. I know, too, that you may read this paragraph over and over again, but you'll only understand that when you are ready.

When I've written about Zen, I've tried to make it seem so prosaic one might wonder why bother to do it at all. I've described it as little more than calisthenics, and I'm not backing down on that score. Zen is terribly misunderstood here in the West. I think we're so anxious to imbue something like Zen with such extraordinary qualities that we completely cover it with our own opinions until it can't even be found. Folks, it really is just what it looks like. It's nothing fancy. You're more likely to improve yourself reading Chomsky, or watching Hardball, for goodness' sake. You're sitting cross-legged like a lump. It is what it is.

I've done a lot of calisthenics over the years. Until my condition began to really slow me down nearly two years ago, I was doing 300 toe-touches, 200 push-ups, and 150 sit-ups every day like clockwork, and I enjoyed being fit and energetic from that discipline. Even there, I knew the best push-ups were those when I really concentrated and paid attention. Even there, it took a focused mind to get results. That's all to say that there is something else about Zen that's a little like attitude. Perhaps a better way to put it is it's about heart. Beyond that, I would be hard pressed to give a description. If you try zazen, I think you'll understand.

I've often referred to my spiritual hero Shunryu Suzuki, and this is a good place to plug the late master's most famous books: Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind and Not Always So. Master Suzuki writes far better than I can about the delicate topic of the mental approach to zazen. For the most part, I would say don't worry about it. Don't be upset when your focus is poor, or your mind wanders. A standard approach that I still use myself on many occasions is to count your breaths from one to ten, and then start over. It helps to keep the mind focused on the breathing, and gives the mind less chance to get lost in its random thoughts. But that's bound to happen over and over again for quite a while. When it does, don't beat yourself up. It's part of the process. Just go back and start counting your breaths all over again.

If you start thinking about something, it's ok to go with that, and think that thought all the way through to its end. A good rule of thumb, though, is, as Master Suzuki would say, "there are no second thoughts in Zen." Don't look to follow up on that random thought once it's completed. Just go back to counting, or just following, the breaths. If and when another "compelling" thought wants attention, deal with it, don't just try and push it away. Soon enough, the more distracting thoughts are fewer, and your mind becomes calm and quiet as your breathing deepens. For me, this feels like coming back to point zero.

I'm not going to try and make you believe I know all about point zero. I've never actually made it that far, as near as I can tell. It's not that out of reach to get fairly close, though, and I think this may be one of the best ways to see the advantages of Zen. To use a truly disturbing analogy, the old (but still sometimes useful) practice of electroshock therapy has been used to disrupt the destructive patterns of mental patients. I think that approaching point zero in meditation might be a preferable approach to getting out of those mental ruts, if I'm allowed to choose. Once I go back to thinking again, my thought patterns may not have improved, but I've gotten them off to a little bit of a fresher start. I think it helps me to be more flexible and resilient.

It's good to take a little time out here and run my mouth about Zen a bit. I don't want to get too carried away with it. I definitely think it's useful not to make too much of Zen, and it's really counter-productive to get all excited about it. I like haikus as much as the next guy, but it's nice to just keep things in perspective. A fresh and flexible mind has a lot of potential, perhaps even the mind rattling around in my much-battered skull, but it certainly won't change things as much as you might hope. It's just a mind that's a little more ready for the task at hand.

Is there a way to prepare the mind for the things we're having to wrap our heads around now in this troubled world? Can we look at Musharraf in Pakistan without at least half a dozen really cataclysmic thoughts clamoring for dominance? Who's guarding the nukes? Is Musharraf giving George any ideas? Where's Osama? Then there's the redoubtable Michael Mukasey and his champions in the Senate. I know I'll always think of him as Mr. Waterboard. But hey, America was always over-rated anyway, right? I'm sure gonna miss it, though. We're just another country that tortures now. America is what you read about in history books.

I recommend a lot of meditation in the coming weeks. I think it will be important to stay as fresh as possible. There aren't many out there who act like they're paying much attention to that Big Mind that may be the better part of us all, but I'll do what I can to be quiet for Big Mind if it so much as whispers. I think right now we're going to need all the help we can get.

Silly Me

2007-11-05T08:09:00.000-08:00

This is kind of a strange little blog, isn't it? Why would I want to have written such a thing, exposing myself to embarrassment for my somewhat unmetered remarks, admissions, and freewheeling assessments of current events and the state of our world? In this politically correct society, it's more advantageous to pull our appendages back into our shell, and go along to get along. How do my friends react? (Answer: I haven't told any of them about this, and if any have discovered this blog, they haven't confessed it to me.) Certainly, this blog represents an injudicious move on my part when it comes to preservation of my personal dignity within the social and professional circles within which I move. A better approach would have been to select purely non-controversial topics, such as programming, where I can lay some claim to professional expertise, and could quietly, uncontroversially, pass along some small packets of wisdom gained from experience to novice developers. That would have been the more prudent course of action.

What can I hope to contribute to the national debate, after all? I'm reaching far beyond my professional areas in my discussions, and often well beyond any personal decorum in the persona I project. It's pretty shameless, probably egotistical, and in the long run, just plain silly, especially given that the amount of effect I'm likely to have would be far outweighed by the sidelong glances cast by professional colleagues toward this endeavor. I'm just sort of urinating in the wind, as it were, and some of it is more than likely to just blow right back in my face. Now that's a disquieting image!

Why do I bother? Well, for one thing, I'm reminded, in ways some of my colleagues have not yet been forced to confront, of the very brief time we're allotted to make our little marks on society. I became somewhat frustrated in that attempt at Microsoft, because my health situation had begun to rob me of the physical capacities I needed to be fully effective in that environment. Perhaps, also, I knew that something else, of which this blog is but one visible attribute, was struggling inside of me to find expression. My background and education is in the arts, not computers. I had come to Microsoft specifically in the hope that I might add something to the digital environment that made life just a little bit easier somehow. That was always the promise of computing from my perspective, that it could take on some tedious task and relieve that burden from the humans who could benefit from the fruits of that labor. I have had occasion, especially in my earlier years of software development, to see my programs physically replace some of those human efforts, and see a chore that had once required hours become available at the press of a single button. In my world, I didn't eliminate workers; I freed them to spend more time solving the myriad other problems of their complex and multi-tasked professions. It was a collaboration that, when successful, provided benefits for all. I looked forward to finding some way to extend that path of involvement to the whole overburdened world. If I succeeded in some way, I can't say for certain. My work at Microsoft has borne little resemblance to the cul-de-sac environments of my earlier days, and any effect I may have had will be more difficult to measure. But I tried.

So what now? Should I continue to post these odd personal notations, as if my thoughts might actually make a difference in this world? It's apparent they've had little effect so far. From my little corner of the world, I can honestly say that I've never seen us collectively in such a mess, so perhaps my disconnected ramblings are justifiable in a society that's already out of control. I'm listening now to Thom Hartmann's radio show, as I often do, and he's interviewing Naomi Wolf about her recently published book The End of America. Thom commented that only a year ago, Naomi had been his guest to discuss the fairly innocuous subject of cosmetics, prompting Ms. Wolf to remark on how much has changed in only a year. Unless you've paid no attention at all, I suspect you'll agree, surely to some extent. This blog can be seen as another example of how much has changed.

I've stopped to listen to the interview of Naomi Wolf, and it's continuing through several of the ubiquitous commercial breaks. Ms. Wolf might be considered the Cassandra of today's progressive thinking, and her tone can sometimes strike the listener as over the top. My own perspective has changed in pretty obvious ways over the months of this blog's existence, and it's valuable to me to review these postings to see the changes over time. I'm beginning to wonder how many of us there are who still think the warnings of Ms. Wolf go overboard, and I suspect the entries here can serve, in their own way, as a chronicle of our dwindling sense of our comfort level about how things will work themselves out. The interview is over now, with a plug for the web site americanfreedomcampaign.org, which you may want to visit. I have, and I used it just now to send my senators a little reminder note about the confirmation of Michael Mukasey. Maybe every little bit does help. Or not. Who really knows?

Things have changed a lot over the past year. I really suspect you sense it as much as I do, although it's hard to tell. I went through this sort of agonizing, narcissistic self-assessment a couple of months ago, though not to this extent, and blogged about it here, of course. I tend to think my ravings may be viewed a little more sympathetically now. It's hard not to see that we're in trouble.

I do suspect that global warming is a far worse problem than we've even begun to come to grips with yet. I believe that feeds into the political climate in many ways, and lends to this accelerating sense of attempts at national redefinition. I'm not a climate expert, and don't expect my voice regarding climate change to ever rise above the level of vague and semi-apocalyptic warnings, so you're free to take that for what it's worth. I have paid sufficient attention to some of the details, even beyond just the details, of some of the questions we're asking now. I will soon be pausing to watch a show I'm recording from LinkTV called "Nobelity", a two-hour talk by a group of Nobel laureates on the problems we face today. You're still at work, most likely. I am watching, reading, thinking. I'm probably supposed to report on this somehow, so here I am.

My sense of things right now is that Michael Mukasey's confirmation is one more of those watershed moments. So far, those watersheds haven't done much beyond sending it all downhill. This one seems extra special, however. Our esteemed Senators poise on the verge of actually institutionalizing torture and imperial executives. Now that's a watershed moment we can be proud of! America will in a very real sense be redefined in this coming week, so try not to view such events as the writer's strike in complete isolation. All things work together, etc., as someone once may have stated.

My Tivo is busy in two directions, as it's also recording Wolf Blitzer for three solid hours. I'll put the Wolf on fast-forward mostly, but I'll get the gist. It appears to be a pretty eventful news day all around.

What We Owe To George Bush

2007-11-01T16:37:00.000-07:00

Satar Jabar has a difficult day at Abu Ghraib

A government which deliberately enacts injustice, and persists in it, will ever become the laughing-stock of the world.
-- Henry David Thoreau

Try to look at the bright side. One day, we might look back and have to admit that we owe a great debt of gratitude to George Bush. No, I don't believe he will be vindicated by history, but it is possible that he will be seen as having inspired the people of the United States to confront great moral decisions with profound consequences for the world.

At this time, Congress, and the general public, is being asked to consider a new Attorney General of the United States to fill the post left vacant by the infamous Alberto Gonzales. The nominee, Michael Mukasey, would like to be confirmed despite his complete lack of clarity regarding practices of torture such as waterboarding. It has reached the stage where some citizens have taken it upon themselves to defend this practice as legitimate effort to acquire accurate and actionable information necessary to defend the liberty and freedom of Americans. The "debate", such as it is, mirrors numerous others in our society, and assists in sharpening the focus of a fundamental dichotomy. We are now forced to start making these decisions inside a context that defines our perception of ourselves as human beings. Thanks in no small part to George Bush, we are near to making the kind of brutally honest self-assessments we might otherwise have managed to avoid for at least another generation, probably more. I think we should be grateful.

I've had some brief conversations recently with some of my friends from Microsoft, but not enough to get any sense of their reactions to current events. There are a couple of guys I'd like to talk to, so I'm putting that on my to-do list. I don't know of many workplaces that allow politics to creep in very much, but everyone talks a little, and I'd like to have more perspective on how my colleagues have reacted to the stark exposures of the last few months. I tend to expect an understated response, but you never know.

A segment today on Keith Olbermann's Countdown discussed the difficulties with Mr. Mukasey's confirmation, aired the reactions today from President Bush, and offered some analysis from Newsweek's Jonathan Alter. Mr. Alter makes some very good points, but I was most struck when he noted that "there's a kind of cognitive dissonance here that's breathtaking." I've heard that term "cognitive dissonance" many times, and I'm sure I've even used it more than once. But quick! Tell me what it means, without looking it up! Hmm. Before looking it up, I see the word "cognitive" and know that refers to the thought process. "Dissonance" I'm a little fuzzier on, but I believe it's similar to "discordant" when referring to musical sound. Let's look it up: cognitive dissonance. (I'm hooked on Wikipedia. A side note: when I look up "dissonance" by itself, and also when I look up "discordant", I'm directed to the topic "consonance and dissonance" that defines "dissonance", and presumably some variant of "discordant", as "the quality of sounds which seems "unstable", and has an aural need to "resolve" to a "stable" consonance. At any rate ...) The Wikipedia definition begins: "Cognitive dissonance is a psychological term describing the uncomfortable tension that may result from having two conflicting thoughts at the same time, or from engaging in behavior that conflicts with one's beliefs, or from experiencing apparently conflicting phenomena."

So, "cognitive dissonance" can refer to a conflict in one's belief, or value, system. I know this is getting terribly convoluted, but we're working our way back around now. The issue of torture is a perfect microcosm of the larger cognitive dissonances I've been describing in my last few blogs. We as a nation are poised to sign off on a policy that diverges so fundamentally from our human instincts that we have, finally, stopped for a moment, possibly genetically unable to simply press on in our usual numbness, and instead we're forced to confront ourselves in something approaching genuine self-appraisal. Thanks, George!

That waterboarding is torture can't really even be open to question. The victim feels she is drowning, because she is. She is then brought back, from the brink as it were, and made to endure it yet again, perhaps many times. Afterwards, there are no physical scars or disfigurement, but mentally and emotionally, PTSD might be one way to describe the residual symptoms, not to mention the potential for complications such as pneumonia due to the large amounts of water that had been forced into her lungs.

Rear Admiral John Hutson testified at the confirmation hearings. Rear Admiral Hutson is an officer, a lawyer, judge advocate general of the Navy, and recipient of more medals and awards than I feel like recounting here. He was testifying at his second confirmation of an Attorney General, having also testified against the confirmation of Alberto Gonzales. After some formal statements, Admiral Hutson offered some additional comments:

You know, torture is the method of choice of the lazy, the stupid and the pseudo-tough. And that should not be the United States. No matter how you define torture. It's unconstitutional, it violates statutes, it violates the UCMJ, it violates Common Article 3, it violates what your mother taught you and it violates what you learned in kindergarten. And we ought not be even close to it.
...
Other than, perhaps the rack and thumbscrews, water-boarding is the most iconic example of torture in history. It was devised, I believe, in the Spanish Inquisition. It has been repudiated for centuries.
It's a little disconcerting to hear now that we're not quite sure where water-boarding fits in the scheme of things.

Disconcerting. A disconcerting cognitive dissonance.

A lie.

I appreciate what George Bush has done for us as a nation. He has brought us together perhaps as no other President before him. We stand amid the rubble of our seemingly adolescent image of our country as a protecter of our value system, and have found it to be an abusive father. We are without question in a state of shock, but I think we're coming out of it. I am still somewhat isolated by my condition, but I imagine the murmurings in offices and break rooms, over drinks after hours, even in meetings and town halls across the country, and of course, on the internet, where I see it happening. We know we have to come together and make some decisions.

We can see the unspeakable horror that is Iraq. We can hear Hamid Karzai's plea from Afghanistan for America to stop dropping bombs on his people. We hear the world's disillusionment with America, even if Bush and Cheney do not, and our pride is deeply wounded.

We have heard of the Hadley Rules, or perhaps you may not have heard them. If not, you can scan through this article by Scott Ritter, called On the Eve of Destruction for more information. Ritter almost seems to imply that American policy, as defined by National Security Adviser Stephen Hadley, is something new, but my reading reveals it as much more a consistent continuation of the long-standing policies of American "Exceptionalism" than is commonly accepted. Nevertheless, the positions implied by Mr. Hadley are shocking in themselves. Negotiation with an adversary such as Iran is deemed to be stalemated until Iran accepts the view of the United States, or there can be no negotiation. That this is nothing like real negotiation is apparently irrelevant. The United States is, quite literally, correct simply because it is the United States.

The underbelly of American government has never been so completely exposed, again thanks to George Bush and his temptingly small group of allies. If we peer at it closely enough, we may actually see the disgusting bloat that has fed the wealthy and the privileged, the military and industrial elite, at the expense of all the rest of Americans since the Constitution was first ratified and immediately hijacked for private ends. If we are finally shocked sufficiently, we just might awaken.

I have a decent reading voice, and have considerable storage facility reserved for me on the internet. I'm considering whether to pursue negotiation with Professor Chomsky's publishers regarding the possibility of my podcasting a chapter a day of his latest two books. Maybe there is a way to get it all into this blog.

The Experts, Pt. 2

2007-10-30T11:02:00.000-07:00

I had intended to send my second thought bubble on experts floating out through the netsphere yesterday, but there were many interruptions. Of course, in the interest of honesty, I wasn't entirely sure what that second bubble was about. My overall point is fairly simple, so I'll try to state that here for clarity: expertise is very valuable, but it tends to stifle creative approaches without sufficient feedback from external sources, including novices. Well, that was easy. I would be surprised to find any substantial disagreement with that point of view.

I suspect what's behind the clash of thinking processes is often some basic difference between the value systems of the individuals involved. For a programmer developing a large application, the value system can become skewed in esoteric directions that have little to do with usability, while a user can quite intimidate a developer with his or her wide-ranging knowledge of that application, based on a value system of practical, and even creative, interaction with the software in daily life. Fortunately, the programmer is highly motivated to provide products with features that directly respond to the value systems of the users, and a collaborative effort is made to achieve that goal. This has worked out very well, for the most part, in the world of software.

Much of today's world might be viewed in terms of similar conflicting value systems, and much of what seems broken might be symbolized by the dysfunctional cooperation between those whose value systems do not coincide. This way of looking at the problem could be extended in so many different directions it's hard to know where to begin, but there are three I want to mention initially here, and return to from time to time in future posts. They are:

American foreign policy and the average American's view of that policy
Corporate policies and the average American's view of their policies
Religious doctrine and, again, the average American's view of that doctrine

In each of the three areas above, there is a schism between the posture of a given entity, and the American people themselves. In each case, something of the collaborative process appears to be fundamentally ineffectual. Why should this be? What would short-circuit such a basic process that enjoys such success in environments like that between a software company and its users? With regard to software, a primary motivation for maintaining the balance is competition. If one company's developers don't listen to the users, another company's developers will. Some might refer to that as a "free market", but there can frequently be a dearth of real competition in a free market. In my personal experience, the best software has always been as a result of spirited competition for users between rival applications. Where there are problems related to the list above, it is often a lack of competition that contributes greatly to those problems.

I'm rummaging through all these concepts to try and build some framework for the perspectives I've gained by the reading and study I've been undertaking to try and understand what's behind the unholy mess everyone seems to be making of our lovely little earth. Even a moderately sane human being could only describe the major forces at work in the world today as perverse, or perhaps even the height of madness. I want to find some handy, accessible frames of reference because I've found there is method to be discovered beneath the chaos, and that's the most troubling aspect of all. It's one thing to feel that we're careening out of control. It's quite another to feel controlled. But there it is.

I have finished Noam Chomsky's Hegemony or Survival, and am nearly halfway through Howard Zinn's A Power Governments Cannot Suppress. These are books which stand against some elements the authors see as highly intentional, not some muddied result of poor planning, but from the perspective of average folks like you and I, an opposing force. I can't compel you to read these books, but now that I have, I need to find ways to integrate the perspective I've gained into this blog in a meaningful way that relates to shared knowledge. I don't expect I'll be able to accomplish that overnight, but I believe such an effort can be useful.

A lot of it is about respect. I developed a deep respect for the experts at Microsoft, and an equal respect for the armies of users. I encountered an application, then known as Outlook Express, and now, Windows Mail, from the perspective of bits and bytes, and hundreds of thousands of lines of code that, after some natural recoil from what seemed an enormous task, taught me to respect the subtle, intricate structure of the creation as it existed before my intrusion into its arcane world. After much study, what had seemed like random flights of fancy revealed beauties of design all the more satisfying because those secrets were only revealed when I had applied myself with sufficient effort to make myself ready to receive them. At Microsoft, software can have mystical overtones!

I have learned a little about respect, and the rewards that can be gained when sufficient respect is paid to the object of interest. The Zen of everyday life might be described as learning to have genuine respect with regard to all we encounter. So I do feel motivated to treat these questions with sufficient respect. As an indication of that, I will respect what seems like a good place to stop for the moment. If I've given the reader anything to consider further here, I will be pleased; but this is also for my benefit. Some parts of them will continue to rattle around in my head for the next day or two, until I know it's time to let some more of them spill out on my keyboard.

The Experts, Pt. 1

2007-10-27T14:41:00.000-07:00

In the beginner's mind, there are many possibilities, but in the expert's there are few.

-- Shunryu Suzuki, Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind

I have used that quote before, only about a month ago, and I'm sure I will use it again. It's one of my favorites. We have a lot of experts around. I've known some of them. It's a major achievement when a person gains a reputation of genuine expertise in his or her chosen field.

When I reflect on my past, I can boast of having gained sufficient respect for my own expertise that I was allowed into the inner circles of development efforts that resulted in the latest edition of the operating system known as Windows Vista® (and Windows Live®, too, by the way). I have written many thousands of lines of code as my part of that effort, and if we discard false showings of either humility or pride, I can be considered an expert repository of knowledge that's of no small importance to our world.

I'm grateful for the opportunities I've had in the past, and perhaps will again in the future, to acquire and build on that reputation in the interest of stretching the boundaries of the digital aspects of our lives. The sales figures of Windows Vista® attest, hopefully, to real acceptance of our efforts, and the promise of Vista® for its advancements and support for new and exciting possibilities of working with information and communicating it to others. It all could have been done without me, of course, but it couldn't have happened without The Experts.

At Microsoft, there is a very healthy respect for expertise. The amazing people who can navigate comfortably through the labyrinthian core of Windows source code with deep understanding and respect for the intentions and far-reaching impact of seemingly obscure subroutines and branches have my deepest respect. They are the foundation, and theirs are the shoulders whereon we stand as we explore those possibilities they've helped to enable. And I've been often amused when the experts are pulled up short by a novice whose question the experts might choose to reject.

Innovation at Microsoft has always been a collaborative effort between the experts and the novices. It's an ideal laboratory for examining the compartmentalization of thinking, and the frequently encountered "inside-the-box" limitations of standardized thinking. Fortunately for Microsoft developers, we have frequently been forced to come to grips with those limitations, and to reach out in innovative directions that challenge our mental routines. That's an experience not to be minimized, and I bring that element of my background to this effort with unchecked enthusiasm.

This is part 1 of my rant on The Experts. I have much more on this topic bouncing around in my head, but it's almost time for the #1 Ohio State Buckeyes to play Penn State (can you tell I was born and raised in Ohio?), so I'll stop for now. I'll pick this up again within the next posting or two.

I want to leave a link to a short blog I posted today on my.barack.obama. I've already stated my support for his campaign, and that I maintain a small, more "politically-correct" blog there on his web site. The theme of that post is very relevant to this topic, so if you'd like to read that as well, here it is: When Will We Learn?

Instinct

2007-10-25T21:18:00.000-07:00

One of the few things I've figured out is that this blog is about instinct. But that's a very tricky word to deal with. My handy Encarta Dictionary tells me that instinct has three primary definitions:

in·stinct [ín stìngkt]
noun (plural in·stincts)
1. strong natural impulse: a powerful impulse that feels natural rather than reasoned
followed his instincts and took to his heels

2. biological drive: an inborn pattern of behavior characteristic of a species and shaped by biological necessities such as survival and reproduction
the survival instinct

3. knack: a natural gift or skill
an instinct for putting people at ease

adjective
filled: completely filled or imbued with something (formal)
a look instinct with compassion
Microsoft® Encarta® 2007. © 1993-2006 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.

In keeping with the Microsoft product placement ads, I bounced from the dictionary to Encarta itself, and found a decent little discussion about instinct. But I often reference Wikipedia in this blog, partly because Wikipedia is such a unique internet reference, it has a mind-boggling number of contributors, and a large percentage of them are highly responsible and take ownership to protect its integrity as much as possible. It's far from perfect, obviously, but it's pretty irresistible, in my opinion.

The second sentence of Wikipedia's definition highlights the problem with the direction I'm trying to go here. It says: "Instincts are unlearned, inherited fixed action patterns of responses or reactions to certain kinds of stimuli." Or at least it said that just now, assuming it hasn't been edited. The common dictionary associations are to aspects of us that are literally still animal, sometimes even reptilian. Instincts can be viewed sometimes as part of our common heritage of survival, and sometimes as the vestiges of ignorance. So where in all that would you expect to find characteristics like altruism, conscience, or moral disgust? Is there such a thing as an innate moral instinct?

I started to google around, but I stopped myself. I want to use my instinct.

I will point over to Huffington Post again, though. I guess I'm going over there too much, but of course there are always lots of lively discussions on a variety of topics, and I'm not visiting DailyKOS as much right now, because they appear to be just a little too attached to Chevron ad money, and I really have a problem with that. Not that Huffington Post is pure, or anything.

Anyway: Giuliani: I'm Not Sure Waterboarding Is Torture. Rudy's distinction can be readily dismissed. Waterboarding is torture.

I did google around after making that statement, but I stopped again.

Right now, at least, there's some pretty widespread obfuscation on the internet around this question. Just for fun, I went over to Wikipedia and looked up waterboarding. The definition in Wikipedia begins with this phrase: "Waterboarding is a form of torture ..."

All right, we know Wikipedia can't claim to be the authority. That six-word phrase is immediately followed by 9 footnotes, some of which I'm sure call the phrase into question; I didn't look at them all. But here's another sentence, which has no footnotes, and is not considered to be in dispute: "It elicits the gag reflex, and can make the subject believe his or her death is imminent while not causing physical evidence of torture." If it walks like a duck, and talks like a duck, etc.

We've been seeing definitions of torture, and those definitions are themselves undergoing a form of torture. That's the problem with words. It's why I can't talk much about Zen, because Zen is beyond words. But is something that can't be expressed, tasted, touched or felt real?

What do you see when you turn out the lights?
I can't tell you, but I know it's mine.
-- With A Little Help From My Friends, The Beatles

I'm listening to Thom Hartmann right now, from the streaming archive area of the AirAmerica web site, since I didn't listen to his show live this morning. Thom's talking about Giuliani and waterboarding, too. Hey, I thought of it first! But this is a very popular topic.

Words and definitions can be turned against us, if you believe in something like what I'm talking about. Let's continue to be imprecise in our terminology, and go on calling it instinct. I instinctively feel that torture of any kind is morally wrong. I feel that it steals something, not just from the victim, but from the interrogator, and from us, too, if we allow it. I feel it robs us of our humanity.

These are vague terms. I have not made what you would call a logical argument. Actually, there is no shortage of superb logical arguments equating waterboarding with torture, and of the incompatibility of the practice of torture with the highest, and most successful, ideals of humanity. But let's say I haven't read those arguments. I would contend that I knew the answer beforehand, because I knew it instinctively.

This is impossible, really, what I'm trying to do here. I'm trying to use words to defend what can't be expressed by them. You try it. But we're getting down to the basics now. Say what you will, my position regarding torture is a core belief. In a traditional form of expression, it is a part of my religious belief, in a very real sense. There is something deep inside me that I feel I absolutely have to trust, not because of what anyone has said, or anything I read in the Bible. I don't wish to ever have to stand against someone, especially in a political sense, in a matter solely based on my private, personal belief, but I have no choice. If I allow this matter to fall under the purview of the legal system, my belief could be overruled, outflanked by some finely-tuned argument, and I could never accept that.

In a more honest atmosphere, someday the honest arguments may be sufficient, and given time, the weight of solid argument will settle this matter in more conventional terms. Until that time, I believe there are things I need to hold close to my heart, against all odds. I hold certain truths to be self-evident.

In these blogs recently where I have discussed Zen, I've reduced it to a simple practice of sitting with good posture and breathing deeply; nothing more. That's really all it is. American Zen needs a whole new language to describe it, because in the Japaneze Zen and Chinese Ch'an traditions, when they speak about their practice, they do it in terms of their own culture, and I think that's caused a lot of unnecessary confusion. I hope I can contribute a little to the language of American Zen by demystifying the practice. It's just healthy. Just do it and don't get all wrapped up in it, and don't get too excited about it. In one sense, it's just a form of calisthenics.

Of course, there are those things that can't be expressed. I'm not at all comfortable yet with discussing that part of Zen, partly because it's so hard. But I think I've touched on it a little bit here, in an oblique sort of way. I've personally had a difficult time meditating since my birthday, but I'm getting back into the groove again. When I take time on a regular basis to sit in zazen, I know that for a period of time the normal concerns and distractions no longer pull me back and forth, and I make a connection, difficult of course to describe, with that creature that is just me.

When I say I don't condone torture, it's just me.

State Of Fire

2007-10-23T22:30:00.000-07:00

California As Seen From Space 10/22/07

About a million people have been evacuated, probably the largest mass movement of Americans since the Civil War. Thousands of homes destroyed, nearly half a million acres of forests are burning, and it's still going strong. A couple of weeks ago, I predicted we would soon find out what our boiling point really is. I'm not fond of being right just now. I'm actually becoming rather depressed about how right I've been. I'm not bragging, I'm pleading. I'm afraid I'm going to be right about my other warning -- you know, the nuclear one -- although it may not matter if we've already burned up.

Perspective is a funny thing. You, whoever you are, may be reading this, and you may be concerned about the California fires, but you may also be somewhat amused by my tone here, because you're pretty sure we're going to come through all this somehow. Well, my tone is what it is because I'm not sure. I pray California soon receives the weather breaks it needs, and it can begin to try and recover, this time. But virtually every scientist not in the employ of ExxonMobil is telling us that the effects of climate change are increasing exponentially, each condition becoming a contributing factor in the worsening of other conditions, and so on. On Venus they called it a runaway greenhouse effect.

I tried to watch some of CNN's "Planet In Peril" thing, but I couldn't. Nice hi-def shots, and all that, but, really, what was that? I agree it's scandalous, criminal and horribly damaging the way endangered species are captured and sold, but, but ... there's a larger message, and CNN is still behaving like the good corporatist tool.

And so it goes, as Vonnegut used to say. And so it goes.

If you dig around, you can find a few more direct stories from the MSM. Here's a study published on MSNBC: Study: Warming is stronger, happening sooner. It says, among other things, that carbon dioxide emissions in 2006 were 35% higher than they were in 1990. 35%. We appear to be our very own runaway greenhouse environmental catastrophe. Just wait until the ice caps melt.

We're still living in the Twilight Zone. Every aspect of our world and our society is telling us we have to change now, radically, dramatically, immediately. But soon we'll have the chill winter winds to drive us back indoors by the fireplace, and soon we'll drift back to sleep.

My own condition isn't that good, actually. I've been taking an awful lot of medication, and I haven't really improved. I'm not able to get around well, and I'm still thinking that I will improve, you know, for a while anyway, but my condition may have something to do with my own reluctance to drift off with the rest of you. Time is relative. It may well be that none of us have nearly enough of it.

Everything you fear about change may be nothing compared to my fear of the status quo, as it now exists. I feel very strongly that you should fear the status quo as much as I do. I have not been indulging in much speculation regarding radical societal change before now, because I, too, was thinking we had more time. It's time to go with my instincts. I want you to search inside yourselves. It's time to re-think. It's time to cut off our emissions.

One little fire, and here I start shrieking that the sky is falling.

The Twilight Zone

2007-10-22T22:29:00.000-07:00

Change in public consciousness starts with low-level discontent, at first vague, with no connection being made between the discontent and the policies of the government. And then the dots begin to connect, indignation increases, and people begin to speak out, organize, and act.

-- Howard Zinn,
A Power Governments
Cannot Suppress

I've added the final book (for now) to my new collection, and you can see from the quote above which book that might be. A Power Governments Cannot Suppress is a new collection of essays by that silver-tongued American critic Howard Zinn. I had wanted to buy it on Sunday, but Border's was out of stock, so I grabbed it today from Barnes & Noble. Although it's just out, it's in paperback, and a terrific bargain at $16.95. This isn't a book for hard-cover first editions; it's a book for the Revolution.

I've only read the first essay so far, so I've hardly earned the right to get on the internet and blog about it. First instincts are often fairly accurate, however, and I think this book holds a place of honor on my now-lengthy current reading list. If you're planning on reading along, here it is:

Failed States, by Noam Chomsky -- Completed, as I noted several days ago
Hegemony or Survival, by Noam Chomsky -- I hope to complete this book tomorrow
A Power Governments Cannot Suppress, by Howard Zinn
The Conscience of a Liberal, by Paul Krugman
Cracking The Code, by Thom Hartmann
I Am America (And So Can You!), by Stephen Colbert
The Chomsky Reader, by Noam Chomsky
Collapse, by Jared Diamond -- I started reading this when I broke off to read Chomsky, and I want to go back and finish as soon as I can

I suppose I could have provided links to all those books, but you've got the list, now go to the bookstore. And since we're doing book lists, let's do one more short one, so I can note some of the more helpful books I've read earlier:

A People's History of the United States, by Howard Zinn -- I've already woven the themes of this book into several blogs. Just as Chomsky's books are essential to understanding American foreign policy from a humanist and global perspective, this is the essential book for understanding the historical context of economic and class struggle in America.
A New History of the United States, by William Miller -- Or any other fairly standard version of American history. It's useful to read conventional American history side-by-side with Howard Zinn's version.
The Assault On Reason, by Al Gore -- This is a courageous book if you haven't read it, and addresses today's problems in many important ways. That it was written by Al Gore makes it required reading. Sorry, if you're lukewarm about Al, but he's literally that important, regardless of how you may feel about him personally.
Armed Madhouse, by Greg Palast -- Other books and information sources had shaken some of my media-induced preconceptions, but nothing early last spring had quite the impact of this book. It's still more than relevant, and Mr. Palast is both a skilled investigative reporter and an excellent writer.
The Trap, by Daniel Brook -- This short book describes the social and economic quandaries of today's educated middle class as well as anything I've ever read. It's an eye-opener!
Guns, Germs and Steel, by Jared Diamond -- This is a revolutionary study of human history, full of insight and careful study of the factors of climate, availability of resources, and microbial influence on the shape of civilization from its beginnings up to today.

There are many other books, and I'm constantly reading books on many other topics -- Zen, of course, literature, poetry, quantum physics, computer programming, and a lot more. Yes, I did identify with Burgess Meredith watching that Twilight Zone episode when I was perhaps eleven. Even then, with all the directions my life would take, and all the interactions I would have, deep down I was Burgess Meredith, and I just wanted to have All The Time In The World.

I want to get back to my books now. But there's also so much to discover here on the internet, and once I'm here, it's hard to resist finding my handy blog and sharing a few of my thoughts about it all before moving on. And the Twilight Zone reference seems fitting on multiple levels to me right now. I almost feel like I'm in one of those episodes; I mean, I know I'm a little more isolated than usual right now, but that's not it. Today's America has literally taken on a surreal quality, don't you think? It's inconceivable to me we should actually be struggling with the issues we're having now, when from the most basic and uncomplicated moral perspective, the direction is clear.

For no particular reason, of all the blog sites out there, I'm going to point again to Huffington Post, and another blog by Ariana Huffington, this one called Midnight in America: The Mainstreaming of the GOP's Lunatic Fringe. Actually, there's practically another disconnect even between Ms. Huffington's post and the many comments that follow, because Ms. Huffington does not yet appear to have quite the full sense yet of the absurdity that is politics in today's America. She's close, and her blog is excellent, but there is despair in these comments, and it's primal. I'm not sure how many Americans identify with the George Bush and Dick Cheney we see today, but most of us, I'm sure, identify with the students who met with Bush a few weeks ago and presented him with a plea to disavow torture. I think all but the most hardened Border Watch vigilante does not want to think of herself as part of a system that does the things we're doing to people here and abroad. Worse yet, for all our protests, no one seems actually to be listening. Doo-doo-doo-doo!

There'll be occasion in blogs over the next few days to shift from books to specific events as they seem to shed light on where things might be headed. For now, things seem a bit like one of those slow-motion scenes of carnage, where bodies fly in Iraq, Afghanistan and now, Pakistan, while the President and Vice-President turn with yearning eyes to Persia. Scattered about are various atrocities, like in Guernica, little atrocities like lies, smears, dirty tricks, hypocrisy, cronyism, corruption, racism, and greed. And, as Ms. Huffington notes, this is the Mainstream.

Guernica, by Pablo Picasso

It doesn't seem too mysterious to me why this has occurred. Or, it does, but at least I do have some sense of motive. At the risk of belaboring the point, it's clear that the wealthy and powerful have manipulated the still-formidable number of weak-minded, malleable citizens in our midst, and have manipulated less weak-minded, but still malleable public citizenry with smaller fortunes of their own. Now, those very accommodating servants are performing a ritual for their masters, spinning up fear and hatred until we generate more war and more hatred, turn ourselves into a full police state, and metamorphose. Unless some of us can find another way.

If we adhere to minimum scientific standards by requiring evidence, I can find little reason for hope from today's Congress, or the mainstream media (henceforth referenced as the MSM -- us folks at Microsoft love TLA's). Both appear to be largely under control of corporations, and act according to corporational morality, which is by definition inhuman -- hence the Twilight Zone.

It's going to require more of my energies than I would like to have to expend in order to do my part to turn us away from further wars, and home from our current wars. As long as people are dying when they don't have to, I feel guilty for the moments I steal only for myself. I do need to do this reading, however. I need to know better how to fight. (Remember, for me, the word "fight" may not mean what it does to you. I have also read Mahatma Ghandi, and Martin Luther King, and Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.)

When I need to laugh, there's Colbert. When I need ammunition for economic disputes, there's Krugman. When I need to better understand our world, there's Chomsky and Diamond. When I need to know how to talk to these people, there's Hartmann. When I need to be inspired, there's Zinn.

I'll give you one more preview of Howard Zinn's first essay, then you can go buy the book yourself:

We live in a beautiful country. But people who have no respect for human life, freedom or justice have taken it over. It is now up to all of us to take it back.

-- Howard Zinn, A Power Governments Cannot Suppress

Fair Game

2007-10-21T22:10:00.000-07:00

Valerie Plame Wilson was interviewed this evening on 60 Minutes. I'm not aware of any new information that was revealed, but even in 2007, 60 Minutes coverage can have quite an impact. After the emotional wringer Americans have experienced with Iraq and the myriad effects of the War on Terror, can we digest the full implications of having leaked Ms. Wilson's covert role? I suspect this is going to be sticking in our throats for the next few days whether we have room for it or not. There is so little room, after all, what with global warming, Pakistan, FISA, etc. I've literally worn myself out keeping up with it all today, so this will be brief, because I'm digesting, too. My intention is to write a full-length blog entry tomorrow or Tuesday, and the impact of Ms. Wilson's interview will be in the foreground of my thoughts.

I'm still trying to finish Chomsky's Hegemony or Survival, because I've been splitting up my time in so many directions. But that didn't stop me from buying more books! I've got some reading material to help me brush up my technical style with Word 2007 for some improved blogging techniques, and I'm looking forward to an occasional break from all this seriousness by learning a few fun techie tricks.

I got a few other books as well, some of which I may discuss later, but one book I want to mention because it's also fun, and we can use some of that right now. It's I Am America (And So Can You!) by Stephen Colbert.

As you probably know, Stephen is now one of our Presidential Candidates:

I've only read through the first chapter (The Family), but if your sense of humor is anything like mine, I highly recommend this book. I hope to save further chapters for when I really need them. I won't give any of it away, but I will reprint a paragraph from the blurb on the inside of the book jacket (which I'm pretty sure was also written by Stephen Colbert):

You may not agree with what Stephen says, but at the very least, you'll understand that your differing opinion is wrong.

Hey, if Tim Russert can take a break from his more serious interviews with, um, Bill Cosby, why can't I? So, to finish up with this nonsense, here's the Colbert Meet The Press interview you may not have seen: the "Take Two" web portion of the interview courtesy of MSNBC:

Take two: Colbert on comedy

Blog Action Day Redux

2007-10-20T15:00:00.000-07:00

I was listening to Ring of Fire on AirAmerica radio, and an interview with Robert Greenwald about his media company, Brave New Films. I visited that company's web site and found this little video about Blog Action Day, which I'm sure everyone has seen, but I thought it was cool, anyway. There's something almost metaphysical about all those voices sounding a single, important theme through the electronic universe. It's worth revisiting for a moment here.

A couple of clean-up notes from the "birthday blog":

I was quickly reminded that I had misremembered my own state district. I live in Washington's 8th District, of course, so I'm issuing that correction here, and correcting it in the original post. So much for credibility. Sheesh!

I received a response from cartoonist John Sherffius, who suggested I contact Copley News for any necessary permissions. I've sent them an email request, and it will be interesting to learn more about proper etiquette regarding reproduction of such material on the blogosphere. So many details!

Happy Birthday To Me!

2007-10-18T13:20:00.000-07:00

It's my birthday today! I am now officially an old fart. I have lived sixty years now on this earth, and there's been a whole lot to see. There's been a lot to like, and, well, there's been a lot that's hard to like. Today is a milestone, however, and milestones should be celebrated. I intend to make some additions to this blog at various times today in a pretty random manner, and I plan to leverage my newfound status as elder statesman by indulging myself shamelessly at every opportunity. Forewarned is forearmed!

I'm intending to publish twice today; once now, and again late tonight with the "finished" product. I can't wait to see how this turns out!

I've been experimenting a bit today with the new blogging facilities in Word 2007, but there are a lot of things to work out in that area. I'm a C++ dev, folks. I've written a lot of HTML, but that's never been my focus, so I can get just as confused in this area as anybody else. It about drove me crazy just trying to put a nice label beneath the picture you see on the right. It's my birthday, so I'm not gonna fight this stuff today. The picture is an artist's conception of the Imagine Peace Tower on Videy Island in Reykjavik, Iceland, as dedicated by Yoko Ono to John Lennon. You can find out more about it at ImaginePeace.com.

I'll be back later today to publish the final version of today's blog. Don't look for me to work out all the kinks in Word 2007/Blogger synchronization today, but I'll be digging into these issues over the next few weeks.

So much nasty stuff going on today. Explosions in Pakistan as Bhutto attemts to return, the S-CHIP veto was upheld, we're all trying to figure out why President Bush is talking about World War III, and so on. I haven't meditated yet today. While a howling windstorm starts to blow up outside, I'll try to flush out my brain a little bit, and make a fresh start later.

I've just discovered cartoonist John Sherffius, whose sense of irony appeals to me. I've attempted to contact Mr. Sherffius to request permission to display this cartoon, but the MSNBC contact information appears to be outdated. The cartoon indicates he's affiliated with Boulder Camera, but that's all I know right now.

UPDATE 10/26/07: I've received a response from Copley News Service to the effect that a $100 fee is required to purchase reprint rights. That's not surprising, and cartoonists and their employers need to make money, too. I have removed the picture, and I'm replacing it with this link: Editorial Cartoon by John Sherffius. Hopefully, that will be sufficient, and I won't be receiving a bill. If I get one, I guess I'll pay it. My copy of the cartoon was out there for a week.

No, I'm not drunk, although I probably should be. I don't drink much at all. There's a very expensive bottle of scotch in my cupboard I'm going to break out in a minute. It was given to me by some of my MS project leaders when I completed a phase of my work for an early Alpha version of Vista (then known only as Longhorn). That bottle's been sitting there for a long time, and my sixtieth birthday seems like a great time to finally allow its intended use. In Vino Veritas! (And that goes for scotch, too!)

Glenfiddich Special Reserve! Aged 12 years before it ever got to me, then about 3-1/2 more years back in the dark recesses of my cupboard. It tastes rich, believe me! It's strong and full-flavored, and there's something about it that says this is the way that scotch is supposed to taste. I haven't tasted Glenfiddich scotch since the mid-seventies in Manhattan, and I don't know that I've ever tasted their "Special Reserve" stock. Microsoft doesn't do anything small. This is the good stuff! I'll work on this for a while, and when I think I'm ready, I'll be ba-a-ack!

I need a better divider than this crappy bamboo border, don't I? I'll look for one. Am I drunk yet? No, no, I don't think so. This scotch is good, though.

I was thinking about a phone call I got yesterday. I live in Washington State's 8th district (like, that's where Microsoft is, dude!), and I got a call last night from Dave Reichert, our Congressman. I participated in a little group discussion (we're having a windstorm right now that's affecting my internet connection. Typing into this blog is flakey -- or is it the scotch?). I'm not sure how many constituents were online with the Congressman, but I waited my turn and was able to ask my question at the end. I asked about Iraq. I asked if it wasn't time to work hard with the rest of Congress to resolve the "problem" of Iraq as soon as possible. Congressman Reichert is a Republican. He's known as a "moderate Republican", in that he makes at least some attempt to protect ANWR, he voted for S-CHIP, that sort of thing. But he firmly defended the Bush tax cuts earlier in the discussion, and in response to my question, he defended the "war". When he complained about the unwieldy prospect of 435 generals (meaning Congress), I complained back. I'm not sure if my phone was open, especially since the Congressman spoke over my response, but I noted "Congressman, it would seem that we have 300 million generals, and most of them are against the war!". I kind of think my remark was heard by the others, but I've no way to be sure.

When Congressman Reichert concluded, it seemed I may have cast a bit of a pall on the otherwise according-to-script procedures, and the Congressman's aide piped up with "Hey, look at the time!", and we all scooted off. I hung around to leave a voice mail, though, to punctuate my anti-war remarks. I believe they went something like: "Congressman, I couldn't disagree with you more about the war. These are life and death matters we're discussing here, sir, and, you know, the odds are, in a year the Democrats will win the election, and we'll go home! [Pause for effect.] Let's go now."

I doubt if I did any good, but it's always nice to get my two cents' worth in. The Congressman's office may have grabbed my contact info as a result of some of my passionate phone calls and email protests, then perhaps confused me with my father (who has the same name, but is a veteran). He may not have realized he called an old hippie!

I'm not going to engage in personal attacks here against Congressman Reichert. He's our Congressman, duly elected as far as I know, and while I may not agree with him on every issue, we still have elections, at least for the time being. We'll see what happens here in Washington's 8th District in 2008. And he does have some good points, and I told him so in the voice mail.

Over the past couple of days, I was also active in commenting on an Ariana Huffington blog on Huffington Post. Ms. Huffington had been granted an interview with Speaker Nancy Pelosi, and video for that interview was posted to the web site. For some time prior to the interview, Ms. Huffington had been soliciting questions from web site members and visitors, but of course, everyone just wanted to ask about impeachment. In her "infinite wisdom", apparently, Ms. Huffington chose to ignore that line of reasoning, and in her interview she focused primarily on Iraq, ignoring the question of impeachment entirely. Afterwards, noting the visceral response to her omission, she wrote a new post that opened the floor to commenters regarding her decision. You can read her post and all the comments here: Ending The War vs Impeachment: Following Up on the Pelosi Interview. If you're looking for my comments, I'm "donaldw6", there and many other places on the internet. The passion for impeachment has never been quite so obvious as it is in these comments.

At some point during this group conversation, I got tangled up with someone who calls himself "Professor73". He kept badgering me for proof that the Bush Administration had done anything at all that could be termed an impeachable offense, and I kept trying to provide substantiation for my claims. Eventually, he tried to stoop to condescension, but I didn't bite. I tried to convince him we weren't sufficiently respecting each other's views, and to reassure him that we could find common ground. His response stopped me short. The professor has a son who is soon to be deployed in Iraq. He believes this war would be over quickly if we'd just let it happen. It was awfully hard to know what to say. This is what I responded:

In everything I do or say, sir, I will try to think of what's best for your
son before I think of what's best for me. That's a guarantee!

My prayers are with you and your family.

Then I cried for a while. It's no shock to me that this isn't some abstract mess, that it's real and personal, but it still hit me.

I hate all this! I need another scotch!

It's hard to meditate if you're tipsy. I have not been good today. I'll try again in a few minutes. I've been reading about utopias, since we're Imagining. I think the Utopia I imagined while I was growing up was "Scientific/Technological Utopia", which maybe explains how I became a Windows developer eventually. We expected to have flying cars by now, man-sized cauliflowers big enough to feed everybody, and atomic energy enough for all. We thought science could generate so much surplus, we'd never have to worry again, everything would be done for us, and we'd have an endless array of wondrous toys to play with. We lived in hope.

I don't believe I ever read Sir Thomas More on the topic. I bet I had the book at some point, and now it's in my ex's library somewhere. Oh well. But looking through the summaries on the internet, Sir Thomas envisioned a perfectly ordered and tolerant society with no concept of property, but the arrangement was imposed. The emphasis was not on freedom, but order. It's probably a good thing that the derivation of the word "Utopia" is described as:

from Greek: οὐ no, and τόπος, place, i.e. "no place" or "place that does not exist," as well as "perfect place"
-- Wikipedia

I guess we've known for a long time that perfection will always be an unreachable goal. And if perfection is so impossible, what does it matter, maybe, if we backslide a little? If we're never going to become that truly perfect, humane, and tolerant society, then so what if we torture a little here and there? So what if some fall by the wayside in the Economic Jungle's Survival of the Fittest? So who cares what happens in this evil world? It will all be better in the next life.

I'm sixty. Shixty!

(Hic!)

Why can't I just meditate, and forget all about this pathetic world? I've got what I need from it. I'm no longer dependent on it for additional resources, things being what they are. I have reached a stage where I can successfully stand outside of things, and generate a Zen force field to protect me from feeling for all you youngsters, still struggling, still dreaming. I can exist beyond you now!

Of course, that's not how Zen works.

No meditation today. I'll have to get back to business in the morning. Birthday's over, anyway. It's now 1:28 AM PDT. (When do we go back to Standard Time, anyway? This weekend?)

Psst! Hey, you! Nobody is going to read this birthday blog all the way down this far, so it's just me and you. I'm gonna let it all out, 'cause nobody's ever gonna hear it but you an' me. We're done for. We know what we know, but we don't know what we don't know, and there's something we still don't know. Unless everyone has gone finally, completely insane, there really is an internal logic at work for someone that's behind all that's going on, and I think it's because there's something really bad that can't be stopped. Maybe it's something to do with global warming, maybe it's something in the Middle East, I don't know, you don't know, but things have gotten really stark. It only makes "sense" if we're reacting to something even worse.

I mean, I don't know if we're really about to get WWIII raining down on us, or if Bush and Cheney are going to parade around in their new uniforms tomorrow, but we're seeing a shift. It's not hidden. It's not rumors. This is simply what's being talked about everywhere. Is there anyone not telling you this? Months ago, I thought we might see some small movement towards sanity, because I was sure what I was seeing and hearing couldn't last in a semi-reasonable society, but it's just been ratcheting up. Now we're thinking everything's gonna be fixed by a new election, and instead it's just ratcheting up some more. Do you see a pattern?

Just looking at what we know, it almost seems like enough. Neoconservative philosophies are failing across the globe. The great African Free Trade experiment has been declared a colossal failure, an indictment of Reaganism of historic proportions. Iraq is unspeakable. The Religious Right are spinning like dervishes. Conservatism is in tatters, and harassing children. The great resources of the economic bulwark of the establishment are fading, in addition to blatant exposure as a raging plague on nature. Progressive voices are blasting the truth through the internet, and the public stands clearly opposed by overwhelming majorities to the state of things.

But off we go, rolling merrily along. Because most of us just have work to do, and even though we know, we don't have time. Most of us just get the chance to glance up for a second, see how things have changed, and get back to work. That's how it happens. In Utopia we might have time to do something about this. But when reason fails, the ones with the forces get to take charge. That's what to look forward to.

It will be tried. They've never flinched at trying anything. It's all they've got left besides blackmail.

Fading now. Hope nobody reads this. I'm not sure I remember what I said. Yeah, yeah, happy birthday. Sixty! Who would have ever thought?

It's all part of the great dance, if you look at things cosmically. If you don't discriminate. If you're a True Man of No Rank, you can move through the water without causing a ripple.

Ho-hum! Night, all!

Al Gore's Viral Videos

2007-10-16T12:22:00.000-07:00

This is just a couple of quick notes about a fascinating development Thom Hartmann discussed this morning on his AirAmerica talk show.

Everyone has heard about Al Gore's Nobel Peace Prize and his Oscar, but not everyone may be aware that he also won an emmy for CurrentTV, a user-driven cable channel and web site that broadcasts media creations from individuals. It's not a YouTube clone, but there are similarities.

Over the past couple of days, Al has created a few small videos (three that I know of), and uploaded them to the CurrentTV web site. You should be able to watch them from the link I've provided (although the web site still seems to be a little buggy).

Thom Hartmann questioned whether these videos might be the precursor to a "guerilla presidential campaign" by Al. I respect Thom very much, but I just signed up with CurrentTV as a member, and saw these videos in their proper context. There is a "Viewpoints" section on the web site where numerous participants upload a video on a given topic. Thumbnails of each video are displayed with that topic's heading, and members can vote for the opinion they like the best. On these pages, Al's video opinions are simply displayed as one of many. There's nothing surreptitious involved here but a little legwork to support a feature of his web site. Of course, word has gotten around, and Al's opinions are getting lots of support, which should surprise no one.

But the other point Thom made, and with which I wholeheartedly agree, is how wonderfully refreshing it is to see one of our most central political figures in such an informal environment -- relaxed, wearing a casual shirt, and spouting off for a minute into his video camera like drinkingwithbob -- and just coming right out and saying so many of the things that need to be said. Hallelujah!

Here are the topics:

Health Care -- "It is time to have universal health insurance"

Government Eavesdropping -- "I think we need to have stricter laws that require the government to follow the requirements of the Constitution"

Iraq War -- "Our primary goal should be to get our troops home as quickly as possible"

The question of universal health insurance is still being debated, and it means a lot for Al just to come out and say things like this. The same applies to the other topics. But overall, for those of us who've experienced the Bush Years as something that must be endured, the mass availability of this video material from completely outside the mainstream news arena is like air to someone who's been suffocated by the current climate (hmm, I need to watch my metaphors around Al).

That's all. I just wanted to give a shout out about this.

Blog Action Day: Pre-Emptive Peace

2007-10-15T00:31:00.000-07:00

Some folks are really upset with all this talk about global warming. Guys like "drinkingwithbob" here are practically beside themselves:

I'm sorry. I don't like it any more than you do. But it's just science. The same science that figured out how to make that video camera, so you could yell at us.

How did Bob get so angry, do you think? Did someone say something that got him all riled up?

This seems like a problem. Maybe we should listen to what the President has to say about all this:

Wow! I still don't understand! What has Al Gore been saying that's got everyone so shook up?

Well, it sure sounds scary. And Hollywood gave Gore the Oscar for this movie. Leave it to Hollywood to jump on the Tree Hugger Bandwagon! I bet they can't leave this alone.

Oh, no! It's Leonardo DiCaprio. Didn't he go down with the Titanic? Oh, well, let's hear what he has to say.

This is starting to sound pretty scary. I'm not sure what our President thinks. What does the rest of the world have to say?

Oh my! They gave Al Gore the Nobel Peace Prize! (Poor Amy Goodman with her Bell's Palsy problem. Hope she feels better soon!) Hmmm... These folks don't seem to be much interested in "spin", do they? They seem to think this stuff is pretty important. But the Nobel Peace Prize? For raising awareness about global warming? How does that make sense?

Hmmm, here's Seth Borenstein on LiveScience.com saying U.S. and Global Water Wars Loom. That doesn't sound very good.

Here's Jeffrey Sachs writing about current War Climates -- like Darfur!

Here's a report from Reuters Africa called Global warming impact like "nuclear war". Here's what it says:

"We can all see that climate change is a threat to global security, and you can judge some of the more obvious causes and areas," said IISS transnational threat specialist Nigel Inkster. "What is much harder to do is see how to cope with them."

I get it now. Is this like Bush's pre-emptive war? A little bit, I guess. But this seems like a much better idea. Maybe we can do this for other problems, too. Congratulations, Al. What a great idea!

Pre-Emptive Peace!

Too Much Truth

2007-10-13T09:58:00.000-07:00

There are many ways to promote democracy at home, carrying it to new
dimensions. Opportunities are ample, and failure to grasp them is likely to have
ominous repercussions: for the country, for the world, and for future
generations.
-- Noam Chomsky, Failed States

How much truth is too much? Can you handle the truth? I've been trying to learn a few things about what's true and what isn't these last few months, and I feel as if I've climbed at least a plateau or two in understanding. I'd like to be able to communicate some of that here, for what it's worth, but this is just a personal blog, just a half-step above Dear Diary. The longest of my entries, printed out, would barely cover five pages. Who wants to read a long blog? Go read a book or something. I'm just posting a few pictures, a few videos, and trying to say a few short words to express how I feel, and allow random chance to find a receptive reader. If you're looking for War and Peace, this ain't the place. But there's a Pulitzer Prize winner in my immediate family (have I ever lied to you?), and while I'm not likely ever to receive Joseph's highest honor, I'm not afraid to think that I might have just a little bit of my own worth saying.

I've completed Noam Chomsky's Failed States, and have begun reading Hegemony or Survival. There are many who find Chomsky's point of view disturbing. That's a laugh, because it certainly is. Everyone has a point of view, and Noam Chomsky is no exception, but we can try and stick to the facts; they're quite sufficient. You don't have to be a student of the Noam Chomsky School of Philosophy, or whatever, to study the public records with him, and others, and come away with much greater insight into the forces that shape our world.

It is a dark vision, for the most part. I won't tell you that Chomsky is an optimist, though he may be. I suspect Howard Zinn is irrepressible in his optimism, and I love him for it. Noam Chomsky doesn't let us see quite so much of himself. The facts tend to speak for themselves.

Can you handle the truth?

I have followed this process in many phases of my life. I have seen the weight of evidence collect on numerous topics until I've attained a level of knowledge about certain things. If you touch a hot stove, you'll be sorry. If you go out in the rain with your head wet, you'll catch a cold. Smoking has bitter consequences. I've learned a lot, by trial and error. I know how it works, and I know when to say I understand.

We here in America are in the midst of momentous crisis. We are in danger of losing democracy if we're not careful. We are indeed being manipulated, make no mistake. The overwhelming majority in this country is deeply at odds with the direction we're headed, and we're being lulled to sleep by propaganda and American Idol. You, you conservative Evangelic Christian. You, you Wall Street Administrative Assistant. You, you soldier headed out for your third tour in Iraq. You are being toyed with and played for just a pathetic sucker. You have to fight!

What can you say in a little blog? After all that I've learned, what can I tell you? That politicians are corrupt, corporations are greedy, and nobody gives a damn about the little guy? Well, hot dang, you could have told me that! You don't need me! There's no room for the details here. I can't take you through it with me. But I can tell you that the devil really does reside in those details, and He's (did I really just capitalize that?) just as strong as ever. The playing field has always been tilted toward the elite and privileged, that isn't news. What's news is that it's gotten a lot more serious, and things are moving quickly now. Specific measures have been, and are being, undertaken that profoundly erode our freedoms. It's a pattern with historical parallels, and you know what they say about those who don't learn from history. It's just that we here in America can't afford to fall victim to that vicious cycle, not here, not now. The stakes are much too high, for us, and for the world.

LISTEN!

The United States of America is largely controlled by corporations. That's upside down. Now, I don't hate corporations. I really, truly, love Microsoft, for all its flaws. But how many times can we be told that power corrupts before we actually believe it? The Ring of Power corrupts all who wear it, and it's a burden that must be fully shared, if we're to go forward. I am here to tell you that a struggle is beginning now that has all the earmarks of being more terrible than we could ever imagine, far, far worse than World War II. I am here to tell you just how bad it really is.

We live in a perfect storm of global crisis, of which we're dimly, barely aware. We're literally melting the polar ice caps off our planet because we're madly uncontrolled, in a world whose religion has become the Bottom Line. We've already become immersed in this climate of fear, and by my speaking out in this manner, I think I may actually risk imprisonment and torture. It's happened already, and it will happen again. You and I, the vast majority, from all walks of life and all points of view, are, unbeknown to our everyday selves, already hostage, and smack dab in the middle of the fight of our unassuming lives.

With our dwindling resources, our overheating globe, our rapidly (thank God!) awakening public, and the growing impatience of the really nasty ones to get their power base sewn up once and for all, the battle lines are being more clearly drawn. I'm not sure which factor will finally push us off the edge, but the cliff is near, and I can see it, and you will, too. The lobster in the pot doesn't know he's being boiled, but I strongly suspect there's at least one moment of bright awareness. Do you have a boiling point? You are, I guarantee you, about to find out.

Take a breath, now. Calm down. I'm here. It's all right. We're going to get through this. I have a little blog I write occasionally over on Barack Obama's web site, and on my Profile Page I paid homage to Yoda for my favorite quote:

"Fear is the path to the dark side: fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering."
-- Yoda (Star Wars: Episode I)

I'm a little angry now myself, a little afraid, but I'll get over it. "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." (Who said that?) I don't believe we're all evil. I believe there are billions of people in the world who just want to do the right thing. I am saying that we're not the ones in control now, and that the ones who are, are the same ones who've been there all through recorded time. They don't like you and me much. We were very foolish to trust them. Stop listening to their commercials, their mindless entertainment, and remember how truly dignified and noble you really are.

We're not powerless, not yet, anyway. The incredible thing about the United States of America is that its underlying structure is still based on the noblest ideals. That's the really dangerous thing about democracy with regard to the rich and powerful; there's always the chance the people themselves could win!

(Upcoming: On Monday, October 15th, I'll publish a blog in honor of Blog Action Day, when over 12,000 bloggers on blogger.com will all write a piece on the environment for an audience of millions. I suspect I'll write about Al Gore's Nobel award, and related issues. Then on Thursday, October 18th, stay tuned for my Sixtieth Birthday blog, and see what I write while in a drunken, self-pitying stupor.)

Consciousness

2007-10-10T21:46:00.000-07:00

I've tried to think at times about how we've changed in the years I've been around to see it. A mere six decades isn't much in the scheme of things, and human nature changes slowly. But an awful lot has happened, and I think there are times when change happens more quickly. Some of the most fundamental changes happened in the first half of the twentieth century, just as I was appearing on the scene. But I could make a pretty good argument that there's been more dynamic changes for the human race in the last sixty years than ever before, probably far more. And we've been changed by it, in ways we're still evaluating.

I'm not sure I can do justice to this topic this evening. Not the very best day, health-wise. Doctor visit. New round of meds, starting all over, that's no fun, and I'm not feeling that great, but I'll get better. I'll try to finish this tomorrow.

Well, that was fun. I'm feeling a little better, so let's give this a shot. Consciousness. Funny how that's one of the things we think least clearly about. My generation grew into adulthood while engaging some big questions about the nature of consciousness. I was in college during the Vietnam War era. I led protests, including a large one after the Kent State shootings. Interesting story for later. I lived in Greenwich Village in the Sixties and Seventies, and partook (I looked it up, that's the right word) of all the good, and some of the bad, things that Greenwich Village had to offer during that time. It was amazing! From there eventually to Microsoft and the cutting edge technology mindset, I've seen a lot of Consciousness in this era up close and personal, and overall, I'd say there's a lot of positives in our Progress Report for the last sixty years. We haven't changed human nature very much, but I think we see it much, much more clearly, and in exponentially increasing numbers. That's really quite a statement when you think about it, and I believe it, don't you?

Talking about Consciousness, I'm taking occasional license to ramble, in a stream-of sort of way. You, Dear Reader, might wonder why you should bother to follow any of this. Well, that's up to you, for the most part, but I'll give you one assurance, and all I can do is ask you to trust me on this: I am always trying to tell the absolute truth as best I know it. If I make a mistake, I will try to correct it. I think our Consciousness has been harmed by the ubiquity of lies we've had to contend with, and if you've caught any of the tone of these blogs, none of it makes any sense if I'm dishonest. I'm too old to lie, people. No point in it.

(Rambling again.) There's a little story about me that will help prove my point. I don't really want to make this blog too personal, except in a Zen sort of way, but on occasion, I think it's ok. This happened a long time ago. I was living in Manhattan with my wife, and I cheated on her. That was a stupid, lousy thing to do, and I'm not proud of it. It did indeed end up destroying the marriage, and I knew what I'd done long before the actual divorce. Ironically, I was starring in a small production of Arthur Miller's The Crucible at the time, and got much too caught up in the charms of one of my co-stars. The lead character in that play is John Proctor, whose situation had a fascinating parallel with my real life (and with the actress who played the lover in the play), and I've thought about that often since then. John Proctor's tragedy was that of broken trust, and so was mine. It gave me a very profound sense of the importance of trust. I vowed afterwards that I would never compromise my honesty in any way. For me, it's how I can hold my head up in the world, and it really has been the guiding principle of my life ever since. You don't have to believe me, but it might help if you know that Honest is something I've been working on for a long time.

So. Consciousness.

We still have a lot of misconceptions about Consciousness. In Greenwich Village, the thing you wanted to do was alter it. That had its moments, believe me, and you might think with zazen I'm still trying to alter Consciousness, but I think you'd miss the point. By now, I've learned to be fully content with the Consciousness I've already got, thank you very much. I'm not looking to alter it any more. (Ok, well, at least not in the current context.) I don't think Zen is about "altering Consciousness" at all. It's just about taking the time to stop and calm down for a minute, that's all. We really need to do that on a regular basis, and we'll all think more clearly. Most Westerners haven't figured this out yet, but that's really all there is to it. Zen de-mystified! So, what's "Zen Enlightenment", then? I've already said that. It's "love thy neighbor as thyself" with all your heart. 'Nuff said.

OK, so has our Consciousness changed in the last sixty years? Good grief, yes, don't you think so? There's so much to consider on this topic. We've seen education improvements for massive population groups, staggering proliferation of information through print, television and digital media. We've altered Consciousness in ways we hardly dreamed of even in Chelsea. Exhilarating, confusing, overwhelming, that's been the times we've lived in. Now, at long last, the Hippies are starting to retire. I'm a little ahead of the pack, due to my condition. I've been struck by the thought I'm a bit like the canary in the mine. My generation has been really, really smart (and vice versa) in many ways, but so many of us have gravitated to intense careers such as I've had at Microsoft. I've been aware of the world, but just through a narrow window while my professional life took precedence, and took over, for the most part. Now that I have some time, and have looked around to get a better idea of what's really been going on, it's pretty shocking. Those of you who are still too busy with your life, especially those who are close to my age, make sure you're sitting down when it all sinks in. There are momentous issues on the table right now, and, if we survive long enough for the bulk of my generation to retire, I think we're going to have a whole lot of people in this country waking up to what's going on with a "WTF???" I'm just telling you. I thought I was on top of things, I saw through Bush and all that, but oh man, I didn't know. We got problems.

If we can just hang on, though, this Consciousness gives us a lot of reason for hope. If we can keep the lines open, there is information available in this still-gloriously-free society, that will lift some serious scales from our aging eyes. My generation is going to see through so much of the sham and nonsense of this age, to a degree I'm not sure we can even begin to imagine. I really predict this, write it down. My generation will reinvigorate its quest for the truth as the demands of career wind down, and there are truths within our grasp so beautiful, I have no words.

I try to comment here about our search for truth and meaning, and shed any light I'm able to on how to overcome some of the hurdles placed in our path. I'm being so inspired right now by the writings of Noam Chomsky, as I've been saying, and I still have much study to do before I can really claim to have enough command of his broad-ranging knowledge to treat it responsibly, but it's a revelation to see how minds like Chomsky's can bring us closer to really understanding the forces that shape our lives. It's very significant that he brings the linguistic discipline to this task, because that discipline helps immensely to keep him honest and objective, even scientific in his approach when possible. There are other minds, of course, and the more I can grasp of the language of Chomsky, the more accessible will those other minds become. I only know English, to my shame, but I know many languages. I am an expert in C++, which contributed to expertise in C#, VB, and so on. Understanding one language can lead to many others.

We've come a long way, and we've helped to place our own roadblocks to bar the path ahead. We're still making war, and lying, and raping the earth. We may last until my generation retires, but we may not. Just to let you know, though, if we make it, if we have time to sit down and take stock for a minute, look out!

Machinations

2007-10-07T00:59:00.000-07:00

I'm not a smart man... but I know what love is.
-- Forrest Gump

I am somewhat squeamish, but I steeled myself to keep from averting my eyes during the final scenes of Ken Burns' The War on PBS last Tuesday evening. I saw piles upon piles of corpses "stacked like cords of wood", as more than one witness had described. There's nothing quite like a 50-inch plasma display to maximize the impact of a video moment. All over the world, only a few short years ago, life had become a commodity of minimal value. As I switched off the TV and turned my attention to our modern world, I felt how deeply vulnerable we may be to the chance of its happening again.

The issue is ... whether we want to live in a free society or whether we want to live under what amounts to a form of self-imposed totalitarianism, with the bewildered herd marginalized, directed elsewhere, terrified, screaming patriotic slogans, fearing for their lives and admiring with awe the leader who saved them from destruction, while the educated masses goose-step on command and repeat the slogans they're supposed to repeat and the society deteriorates at home. We end up serving as a mercenary enforcer state, hoping that others are going to pay us to smash up the world. Those are the choices That's the choice that you have to face. The answer to those questions is very much in the hands of people like you and me.

-- Noam Chomsky, Media Control

Noam Chomsky was described in the New York Times as "arguably the most important intellectual alive." In September of 2006, Hugo Chavez displayed Chomsky's book Hegemony or Survival to world leaders at the United Nations, describing it as "an excellent book to help us understand what has been happening in the world throughout the 20th century." Of course, Chavez also expressed regret at not being able to meet with Chomsky before his death (Chomsky is very much alive), so one must reserve a degree of skepticism for Mr. Chavez' acumen. Osama bin Laden, in his video earlier this year, referred to Chomsky as "among the most capable of those from your side who speak to you on this topic." (Hey, with endorsements like that, who needs the Times Book Review?) Pat Tillman's mother, and Chomsky, have confirmed that a meeting had been arranged between Tillman and Chomsky on his return from Afghanistan. I suspect all, or at least the vast majority, regret that meeting did not take place.

I mention these references to highlight the really stunning impact this individual is having on the world. I have purchased three of his books -- Failed States, Hegemony or Survival, and The Chomsky Reader. I'm reading Failed States now, so I'm working backwards, I guess, but there's also so much material on the internet that it's somewhat slow progress. (Of course, there were the Ohio State and Cleveland Browns football games as well.) Chomsky is a complex man with complex thoughts, so I don't want to try and summarize him too quickly. But to underestimate his importance is to ignore the world.

What is the message that resonates so strongly with those who stand against U.S. foreign policies? If such a man as Osama bin Laden praises him, why should we even care? The ancient Greek philosopher Antisthines said "There are only two people who can tell you the truth about yourself - an enemy who has lost his temper, and a friend who loves you dearly." Osama bin Laden has unquestionably lost his temper, but I suspect Noam Chomsky loves us dearly. To this point, he appears to be telling us the truth, no matter how painful. We need to care, and I'm saying that Chomsky is only trying to warn us before it's too late.

If you've passed safely through the gauntlet of disinformation to appreciate that global warming is a fact, you also need to know that scientists are seeing that the process is occurring much faster than estimates had indicated. This crisis alone is more than sufficient to make us stop and take notice, but Chomsky elevates our awareness of the patterns of our overall behavior, and a much broader view of its causes and effects. The most critical problem of all is that we're heading in the wrong direction, and we're not slowing down, we're speeding up.

One of the "strongest" objections to Chomsky -- though not particularly strong, in my opinion -- is that the policies of the United States are infinitely preferable to the alternative, and ultimately result in humanitarian benefits over time. I would respond that the policies of the United States are infinitely less preferable than a revitalized policy founded principally on fundamental human rights. It represents a great lack of faith, to my mind, that we despair of making serious attempts to reform the destructive elements of the machineries of progress we've unleashed upon the world. I want to believe that we have far too much potential simply to ride on the runaway train and shout ahead with warnings.

It's not necessary to read Chomsky to get the feeling that the window of time for making adjustments may be closing, but it helps. The array of information he provides is available as a matter of public record, and the scrupulous methodology that has made him the most important linguistic scholar of our time is applied with vigor to these topics as well. It's not a matter of refuting his information, because he's simply repeating what is well known. The difference is his genius, and of course the enormous applied effort that is the real secret of genius, that allows him to broaden our view of events to include a much larger range of causes and effects, and perceive the underlying patterns. It's hard to imagine a more fitting toolset for understanding our world than a mastery of the basic elements of communication.

The problems of our world, when viewed in the historical and political contexts provided by such scholars as Noam Chomsky and Howard Zinn, can be overwhelming. Many of us have a growing fear that it may already be too late, so why even bother? I can't even comprehend that point of view, so I'll allow that to pass without further comment. I do believe that there's an excellent chance things are going to get much worse. I could have made that into a more comforting phrase such as "things are going to get much worse before they get better," but the truth is, by the very nature of our crises, it's more prudent to have placed the period to the sentence right where I put it. When concern about these issues is sufficient to have reached critical mass, there will be a response, of course, but it's increasingly likely our response will indeed have been too late.

So what should we do? I'm trying to do my part, in my small way. I really believe the most important thing is for us to simply recognize the problems. Many of us are not being very honest with ourselves, and you know who you are. Most of us are just trying to avoid being talked to like I'm doing now, and I probably can't blame you for that, there's a lot I'd rather be doing, as well. I think we should try to see "things as it is", as Shunryu Suzuki used to say. We should practice zazen and become less rigid, less dogmatic in our interactions, and waste far less time regretting the truth than in staying open to truth in every moment.

I really am very, very hopeful. With reservations.

FUBAR!

2007-10-04T13:17:00.001-07:00

Under the current U. S. policies, a nuclear exchange is inevitable.
-- Noam Chomsky

I stated my intention to publish a blog entry titled "FUBAR", and this is it. The title is the same as the middle episode of the Ken Burns documentary "The War", which I reviewed in my last entry. I assume you know the acronym -- F(bleep)ed Up Beyond All Recognition -- and its assimilation into the everyday slang. It is also, far too accurately, an assessment of the world today. Not entirely, from my point of view, since I'm determined to remain an optimist. The final letter of the acronym stands for Recognition, not Redemption. The key is Recognition. Even though everything's been muddied and F(bleep)ed Up, I believe Recognition is still possible, if we just try.

This blog has been invaluable as a sort of story line for my semi-retirement. To the casual observer, I know it may be difficult to see much of a pattern, but it's there. I left the Microsoft development cycle grind a little over 7 months ago because (1) I could, and (2) I have a medical condition. My plan for this time was partially dictated by my physical limitations, but I looked forward to extensive reading and zazen in a peacefully contemplative environment. As I have begun learning to appreciate the simple pleasures, the world outside has stood in stark contrast to the satisfactions I enjoyed, so I've been studying our world intensely and, of course, blogging about it.

At Microsoft, one of my biggest thrills has been seeing the actual thought processes of truly brilliant minds. As for myself, I have my moments, but with regard to pure technical intelligence and skills, I've been known more for effort than technical brilliance. I was privileged to be part of the Windows Vista development cycle virtually from the outset, and I was constantly exposed to individuals with the capacity for lightning analysis, uncanny abilities to anticipate and prepare for a dizzying array of contingencies, and just more or less shed light on the actualization of real genius in the modern world. And I'm not exaggerating. So, I've had quite an extraordinary education about the utilization of our faculties, and that constantly inspires me to apply myself now with some of the rigors and discipline of Windows development to which I've been exposed.

I'm old enough to "get" the importance of trying to have a fairly balanced view of things, and there is certainly a connection between the Zen traditions and the ancient symbols of Yin and Yang. I know a blog that begins with pictures of nuclear mushrooms doesn't bode well for the hope of a balanced perspective, but, as I mentioned earlier, this blog is a kind of narrative. This entry represents the effect of my having reached a certain stage, but the story itself is a longer one, with more balancing effects over time.

When I indicated my intention to write FUBAR!, the stated goal was to try and put into words anything I've left unsaid. Thinking about that, I realized that meant I should try to give a voice to some of the unspoken subtext and vague fears, hopefully without simply being shrill and alarmist, but with at least some real skill at assessing the landscape. Fortunately, we have no shortage of brilliant minds today who are attempting to do just that, and I have tried in these entries to provide the most relevant possible snapshots of these attempts, with modest success. But for all the brilliance of authors and journalists such as Paul Krugman and Naomi Klein, and even my hero Howard Zinn, I remained uncertain what I might say.

Perhaps I'm learning a bit about how to let things happen when they're ready, but I think I've always had some instincts in that regard. I appear to be ready to hear what Professor Noam Chomsky has to say about this world, and I believe those are the very words I'd been searching for.

The following is a transliteration of a portion of a radio interview of Chomsky by the BBC in January 2006, titled "The Biggest Challenges Facing Humankind":

Chomsky: Well I think there are two major challenges which are actually so serious that they literally endanger survival of the species. The worst of them, which is unfortunately rarely discussed, is the threat of nuclear war which has been high for a long time and is now increasing. It’s not alarmist when someone like Robert McNamara writes an article called “Apocalypse soon,” or when leading strategic analysts in the most conservative journals talk of the “appreciable risk of ultimate doom.” Primarily driven by what’s called the transformation of military in the United States, the vast increase in offensive military capacity, including steps towards militarization of space which every analyst understands, is leading potential adversaries to increase their own offensive military capacities. The Russians have done so very substantially since the Bush administration came in, the Chinese are now doing it. And all of these systems are increasingly being placed on automated response system, hair-trigger alert, that’s called “Accidents waiting to happen” in strategic analysis literature. We know our own systems fail constantly and are averted by human intervention which has only a few minutes of time, and the systems of the adversaries are much less sophisticated, much more likely to cause an accidental missile strike. Those dangers are going up very high and talk about ultimate doom and apocalypse is now not alarmist. In fact at a lower level, US intelligence analysts estimate the probability of a dirty nuclear bomb attack in the US in the next ten years is about 50%. That’s not a massive nuclear attack but enough to change the course of history dramatically, maybe end up in nuclear war. These are the things that are right at the edge. Instead of doing something about them, we’re going in the opposite direction.

Noam Chomsky has encountered a great deal of opposition for his forceful views, but I have spent much of my life studying brilliant minds, and Noam Chomsky possesses a laser beam quality of thinking I have rarely encountered, and that's saying something. He has the kind of thinking that blows my hair back when he speaks. I've seen so many brilliant people up close, both at Microsoft and in the theater districts of Manhattan, that I've also learned a bit about spotting the flaws in their brilliance, and I'm sure the same will be true for Mr. Chomsky as I continue to read and listen. But for all their flaws, let me tell you. When you have a chance to listen to genius, just drop whatever you were doing, and sit down. You're about to have your life enriched.

Here is a link to Noam Chomsky's primary web site, Chomsky.info, and two links to an extraordinary interview with both Noam Chomsky and Howard Zinn on DemocracyNow! from April of this year:

On Iraq, Vietnam, Activism and History

On Alan Dershowitz and Norman Finkelstein

Chomsky rose to fame as a linguist, and has extended his reputation as a searing critic of the United States and its policies. His linguistic skills are always evident in his ability to extract the core of a given context and cling to it as a buffer against all attempts to shift the topic. With focus, discipline, and an inexhaustible range of information and specific examples, Chomsky offers a vision of today's world as defined by the imperialist tendencies of great powers, the most recent example of which is the United States. Lest you think we've merely descended into a world of esoteric phrases, there are some examples below that will touch on some of the implications. If you'll excuse a brief digression, perhaps I can establish a little more context.

Paul Krugman is a famous liberal columnist for The New York Times, and his new book, The Conscience of a Liberal, will be published later this month. He is also writing a blog by the same name. I highly recommend the blog, and hope Mr. Krugman won't mind if I include a small graph from the initial blog entry that I linked to above:

This chart represents the richest 10 percent of the American population over the past 90 years. It's a very striking representation of the fate of the middle class during that time, and might serve, at the very least, as incentive to seriously question the policies that have led to such effects on the majority of American citizens. It is completely reasonable to question why we should think that the chart above reflects the collective efforts and consensus will of the general public of this powerful nation. If one has the stomach for considering the possible darker implications, it might lead to paying more attention to some of our harshest critics.

The first video below is from an old TV show called The Firing Line in 1969. It records a brief encounter between the young Mr. Chomsky and William F. Buckley. I'm including it to allow you to experience political discourse on a rarefied level compared to most of what we see today, and to see Chomsky's powerful mind in action when pitted against one of the most eloquent conservatives of the information age:

Finally, this video is from an interview with Francine Stock of the BBC at London's St. Paul's Cathedral in December of 2002. It's "spiced up" with a little multimedia introduction that gives some sense of Chomsky's real impact on the world, though it's yet to be felt with full force in the country that's been the target of most of his criticism. As an added bonus, it's introduced by the playwright Harold Pinter, whose plays helped me explore our words and meanings in many challenging ways during the years I spent in the theater. (Note: This video may have some glitches. I'm keeping an eye on it.)

As I said, I'm determined to be an optimist. I have much to learn from the speeches and writings of Mr. Chomsky, but it's more than troubling to hear this man, to be able to recognize him as more than a cut above most of us in his abilities to perceive and examine the world, and to recognize ourselves in the mirror he shoves so rudely before our faces.

The image atop this blog entry is a warning. I have travelled this path in good faith, and have come now to stand trembling before my most eloquent accuser.

I do not have an answer.

The War

2007-10-01T21:51:00.000-07:00

If you haven't watched any of Ken Burns' astonishing survey of World War II on PBS, you owe it to yourself to take a look. We've seen all the video of Hitler, and the newsreels, and watched The Duke take Nazis and Japs on at the same time, but this leisurely fourteen-hour recounting is the story of your father's or grandfather's war, not FDR's. For seven episodes, the people of four small towns in America remembered that time, including moments they've shared only rarely over the years. There are many opinions about this huge documentary, of course, but I'm pretty impressed. It's hard not to be reminded of Howard Zinn's People's History when watching all these events through the eyes of foot soldiers, fighter pilots, and the girl friends at home, unembellished (for the most part), unaffected, as they really were. There's a good article called Master of Deceipt by Dan Flynn at FrontPageMag.com that would seem to corroborate my theory.

There are other touches as well. Burns doesn't blink at the topic of Japanese internments, and shows us another side of who we were. Then there are the segregated black and Japanese platoons, and their soldiers who tell their story with so little rancor, but Burns makes sure we've heard them, and know what they have done. At the end of the FUBAR episode, there's also an Indian, and his is another wonderful story you won't want to miss.

I'm going to write my own FUBAR blog entry soon, I think. There's a FUBAR feel about things I'm having a hard time shaking. It's like we've been walking on what we assume to be solid ground, then all around the earth falls away to reveal our seesaw. Some of us are on one side, while on the other they're adding weights, and ballast, heavy weapons, and cash, and I'm starting to feel a decided tilt. In case you haven't been paying attention, this is a common sensation, I'm told, for a lot of us right now, and it's bordering on the epidemic. I've been engrossed by these glimpses into our last great descent into madness, and the simple dignities of mankind that survive it all, but I know that the events of today will write their own story, and could play out in a distinctively minor key. I need to dig down and see if I've left anything unsaid, and I'm doing that. I need to percolate a bit.

I read a short sermon (or teisho, if you like) by Shunryu Suzuki called "Freedom From Everything". Master Suzuki didn't believe in modest goals. He confessed that he never practiced zazen really well until two years prior, when he nearly drowned in a creek while trying to cross. It was the realization that things can end, he noted, that finally focused his thinking. Zen really is a relative of martial arts, and demands the same resolute approach as the Samurai facing his death. If this were really our last moment, would we still go on fooling ourselves, and still try to make do with half measures? If my own condition does not improve, will I die confused?

I watched another very good video on YouTube. It's a talk by Gudo Nishijima (no, I hadn't heard of him) on the Meaning of Zazen. It's a wonderful talk, with helpful discussion on the pure physiology of zazen sitting to achieve a natural balance. The Zen influence in Buddhism is practical to its core, and its practice is therapeutic in many ways. We have so much to learn.

I really believe you'll enjoy Gudo Nishijima's clear, simple style. I also hope you will notice there really is something special about him. Actually, what's so special is that there's absolutely nothing special about him. There I go with a riddle again ...

Emptiness

2007-09-29T11:57:00.000-07:00

The Hubble Deep Field: The Most Important Image Ever Taken

After watching this, I agree with the video's title. To my personal stream of consciousness, this video is appropriately placed here.

Beginner's Mind

2007-09-26T22:54:00.000-07:00

In the beginner's mind, there are many possibilities, but in the expert's there are few.

-- Shunryu Suzuki, Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind

Suzuki Roshi's words are more relevant now than ever. In a time when legendary economists innocently reveal the most damning truth of the Bush Administration so far, yet fail to envision a world where such obscenities might have been avoided, we see the limitations of the box we've been so reluctant to "think outside of", as they say. The extension of such thinking has led the Senate to make a virtual declaration of war against yet another nation being drawn into the morass that is Iraq.

I just made a post on the MSNBC site on the message board discussing the Democratic debate. I was really disheartened, and more than usual, by the ignorance and tightly closed minds of too many posters. I tried to add a little historical context to the topic:

The United States of America was created, and defined in its historic Constitution, to be a nation governed by the people themselves. Out of the long human history of rule by kings whose powers were decreed by God, America flowered as a testament that we are all children of God, and no less capable of governing than kings.

More than two centuries later, there is still insufficient appreciation for the revolutionary nature of this country. For many, the temptation to imbue special qualities to the wielders of power is still too great. In America, at least for the moment, each one of us is powerful in ways the Medieval spirit could scarcely have imagined, but we've been painfully slow to assume the accompanying responsibilities.

We have all been declared as noble by the law of our land, yet too often we still cling to our savage nature. We are each of us tasked to meet the hopes and expectations of Washington and Jefferson in our daily lives, to live the dream of America and protect its birthright of liberty. As citizens of this extraordinary republic, we all have much to learn, and obviously much studying yet to do. Each of us must ask the hard questions once only the province of kings, and assume our portion of the nation's burden. That's a serious commitment, and we must not abdicate, because this world does have evil in it, and we should strive to be alert to threats from every
direction.

Far from a gloomy responsibility, the task assigned to each American is a joyous one, with a vision of freedom not defined by docile ignorance, but of empowerment, opportunity, maturity and understanding. It is the spark of the Divine in every living being, unfettered by tyranny and oppression. It is not just George Bush's responsibility, or Hillary Clinton's.

It's yours.

OK, that's a little heavy for the MSNBC message board. But I almost know how Jesus felt when he cried "Oh, Jerusalem!" Do you know what I mean? I see such potential, such unrealized potential.

It's hard for me to realize my own potential, needless to say. I didn't really need more physical difficulties, but I'm on extra meds again, and I'm not happy about it. I'm still having more troubles than I'm supposed to be having, so more 'roids, and a different antibiotic this time, called Ceftin, or something. I don't know much about it yet, but so far, none of the bad reactions I had to the sulfa-based SMZ/TMP, to which I'm obviously allergic. So, I'm not feeling that great, but I have so many thoughts I'd like to write down over the next few days. We'll see what happens.

There is so much going on in the world, and so much I'd like to see headed for the right path while I'm still around to enjoy it, but I always find strength in the words of men like Shunryu Suzuki. There are two primary books associated with the teachings of this Zen master who came to California and established the first Soto Zen monastery in the West before he died in 1971. I have been reading Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind periodically for more than thirty years, and more recently, a compilation called Not Always So. It's been fascinating to chart my progress in understanding the simple words of Suzuki. Great books such as these are not necessarily the literary achievements of Shakespeare and Goethe, but share their ability to measure our growth in understanding as we pass through life. Just as a passage of Shakespeare reveals new layers of meaning as I grow older, so I seem to fall slowly through my own layers of misunderstanding each time I read Suzuki, and sense just a little more of the kernel of meaning he tried to convey. Without question, that task will be incomplete when my time is up.

I still can feel intensely bored by meditation, but I am confident in my will to persevere. If something about that practice has undergone any subtle changes, I am only reminded what a beginner I truly am. I know that the deeper I reach within myself, the closer I feel to all of you, my living teachers. I am touched by the deep inability of words to express that sort of paradox, yet I know it's in the riddles that we find a touchstone of our journey to understanding, and that they resonate with the jangled tune of our crisis-ridden planet as it speeds through vast, vast emptiness.

Bill Clinton has made some remarks of great importance. If you haven't heard them, please play this short video.

I might update a given blog to correct a spelling error or add a tag, but I don't like adding content after the fact. I'm making a late addition here, but I'll try not to make this a habit.

Toward the end of the MSNBC debate, Tim Russert asked one of those hypothetical questions. The scenario here, if I recall, was a prisoner formerly 3rd in command of a terrorist group with information about a pending terrorist attack. The question posed to the candidates was whether an interrogator of this prisoner might be pardoned for using torture to thwart the attack.

The Democratic candidates all condemned the use of torture under any circumstances, and of course, that's the answer we must give in response to such questions, if we are to make any claim to legitimacy as a leader in the free world. But I want to look a bit deeper into the implications of this stance, and imagine myself, not as the President, but as the interrogator in the critical moment of decision. If I were this person, I think I should feel the full weight of all crimes against humanity that hung in the balance, through terrorism and torture alike. At such a moment, it should be clear to me that, should I choose my own criminal path, there will be no pardon, no subsequent redemption no matter the outcome. Let this be the sobering context of this drama.

As a trained, experienced interrogator, of course, I would know how to apply far more effective techniques than torture, and be much more prepared to respond to the crisis than any of the stars of 24. This was another fake question, based on one of the many steps backwards in understanding we've taken this century. Until they burn the books, we can recover forgotten knowledge, and move forward.

Blackwater

2007-09-22T11:32:00.000-07:00

We know virtually nothing about this. We think about 40 cents of every dollar goes to private military contractors. We think about 800 of them have been killed in Iraq, but we don't know that. They're not even counted. And we think there's about 25,000 to maybe 40,000 engaged in military activities -- in combat-related activities -- but we don't know, and we can't find out!

-- Rep. Jan Schakowsky (D-IL)

Blackwater is a window into the Brave New World unleashed by George Bush's Global War on Terror. Congresswoman Schakowsky has been a leading critic of Blackwater and other entities operating in Iraq and elsewhere. If her comments above don't send chills down your spine, you must be one of Them.

The online version of The Nation magazine has a new article by Jeremy Scahill, author of Blackwater: The Rise of the World's Most Powerful Mercenary Army, that provides a brief look at the organization al Maliki has declared unwelcome in Iraq after the recent incident in which at least eleven Iraqis were shot and killed. The article features a YouTube video that I'm also embedding here.

Remember Donald Vance? Congressional hearings on Blackwater and related issues featured testimony by Mr. Vance regarding the issues I wrote about back on August 25th. I predicted then that we'd be hearing a lot more about this, and it appears that Blackwater itself has given those hearings a significant ratings boost.

If we survive as a nation with democratic government, the reporting of Jeremy Scahill and others will be followed some day by mass media treatment of these activities, and surely at some point Blackwater: The Movie. Could we even watch it? I'm still fighting my unwillingness to believe, not just that human beings could behave like this, but more importantly, what it says about us, that we have allowed it to reach such proportions and become so entwined with the United States Government at all levels.

There's no way to overstate this. When we examine Blackwater and its affiliates, we're assessing a threat, quite literally, to much of what is important to us in this world. I am one person, and by myself there's little impact I can have on current events. But I wait with bated breath for your response.

Belief

2007-09-20T10:04:00.000-07:00

This is a new ad for Barack Obama being aired in Iowa. There is a message there that you need to hear. I've been trying to talk about how important this has become, and I think you can hear that urgency in this video. It's not about how badly he wants to be President, although I'm sure he does. It's about realizing how badly broken we really are, and the incredible power for good that we still, for the moment, possess.

Changes

2007-09-19T23:37:00.000-07:00

The air is cooler here in Washington. The sky is retreating from the sunlight of August, and returning to its more customary gray. I've switched on the furnace because I was pretty cold this morning. Summer has come and gone. Raccoons are sneaking around my back yard looking for food. Through the pine trees, the occasional oak or maple tree glows with the colors of early Fall. In the mornings, a misty fog spreads out from the surface of Lake Sammamish, dropping wet on the windshields of cars as they move along its length in a long slow caravan of another day's commute.

There's a kind of renewal in every change of seasons, but I've always liked Fall the best. Fall in Washington State is pretty special, and Central Park in Manhattan was glorious that time of year. But my favorite place was Southern Ohio, where I grew up. Driving through low tree-covered Appalachian ranges with fiery explosions of Autumn hues on every hillside for miles around, I was always overcome by the sheer scale of the unbroken beauty of that panorama. So much changes, but please let there always be Autumn in Southern Ohio!

Change is the fundamental truth of Buddhism, no less for Zen Buddhism. It can be a very hard truth to accept. It's a truth not much discussed, at least in so many words, in Christianity, and that's probably unfortunate, but that's just the words. The question of impermanence is at the core of all religions, and Christianity has no disagreement with Zen in this regard. Zen defines a practice that can help one to live with change, make peace with it, more or less, by allowing oneself to be more in harmony with its rhythms. Change seems relentless and merciless, but the familiar cycle of seasons gives a sense of a larger pattern, if dimly through fog.

There may be nothing more thoroughly radical than a deep understanding of change. Viewed through the prism of the impermanence of all around us, desires of the ego lose their meaning, but so do concepts of good and evil, right and wrong, life and death. Once change is completely embraced, what else is left?

No answers here, only questions. But there is a harmony. Perhaps we're like the strings of the theorists, vibrating in space like part of a great cosmic harp whose music can't be heard by human ears. Only one thing is certain.

Nothing I cared, in the lamb white days, that time would take me
Up to the swallow thronged loft by the shadow of my hand,
In the moon that is always rising,
Nor that riding to sleep
I should hear him fly with the high fields
And wake to the farm forever fled from the childless land.
Oh as I was young and easy in the mercy of his means,
Time held me green and dying
Though I sang in my chains like the sea.
-- Dylan Thomas, Fern Hill

Surprises

2007-09-16T22:13:00.000-07:00

Who would have imagined that Derek Anderson (who?) would resuscitate the long-comatose Cleveland Browns offense with 5 touchdown passes and 51 points? Here is a kid who lost a lackluster training camp competition to Charlie Frye, when both quarterbacks were simply vying to hold things together for 5 or 6 weeks until 1st-round draft pick Brady Quinn has had enough time to learn the offense. Not to mention that Frye, who won the competition, laid such a huge egg on opening day he was immediately traded to Seattle. But in comes unknown Derek Anderson, and tosses touchdowns all over the field. It's a complete surprise to me, and probably no small surprise to head coach Romeo Crennel.

That's the sort of thing that keeps me going. Life is really just one surprise after another. I just watched Deion "Prime Time" Sanders put on his most supercilious face (and he has several of them) to remind us all that no one takes the Cleveland Browns seriously. Well, Deion, life is full of surprises.

All the time I personally have been following the Cleveland Browns, there has definitely been an element of the whole classic rooting for the underdog. I was too young to follow Cleveland's early string of championships, and in the years when I played high school football and fell in love with the sport, the Browns fared very well, but the big teams of that era were the Packers and the Giants. When the Browns defeated the Baltimore Colts for the NFL Championship in 1964 -- before the Super Bowl -- they were a heavy underdog to the Colts and Johnny Unitas. Cleveland shut out Baltimore to win that title, 27-0. But Jimmy Brown retired soon after, and there were several down years. There were some exciting teams in the eighties, with the Cardiac Kids led by Brian Sipe, and the excellent Bernie Kosar-led teams of the late eighties who were always victimized by last-second heroics from John Elway and the Denver Broncos. The nineties saw the ignominious beginning of Bill Belichick's coaching career as he fielded Browns teams that were so bad they surely helped inspire Art Modell's infamous midnight theft of the football heart and soul of Cleveland for his well-heeled friends in Baltimore. Then, of course, there were the early expansion years, after the Browns were recreated in 1999. We don't talk about them.

Surprises don't always mean things are suddenly about to change for the better. Actually, Modell's move to Baltimore was a surprise, and a very unpleasant one, to be honest. But the potential for surprises keeps things lively, and can help to keep you from becoming a complete cynic about our chances for surviving all the challenges we face now. Just ask Derek Anderson and the Cleveland Browns. Or you could ask my old pal Howard Zinn:

I have tried hard to match my friends in their pessimism about the world (is it just my friends?), but I keep encountering people who, in spite of all the evidence of terrible things happening everywhere, give me hope. Especially young people, in whom the future rests. Wherever I go, I find such people. And beyond the handful of activists there seem to be hundreds, thousands, more who are open to unorthodox ideas. But they tend not to know of one another's existence, and so, while they persist, they do so with the desperate patience of Sisyphus endlessly pushing that boulder up the mountain. I try to tell each group that it is not alone, and that the very people who are disheartened by the absence of a national movement are themselves proof of the potential for such a movement.

The quote above is from Howard Zinn's short article The Optimism of Uncertainty, published in 2004 by The Nation. Zinn has always been fond of reminding us that some complete surprise is often just around the corner. One of my favorite chapters in the People's History of the United States is, in fact, called "Surprises". The ever-present possibility for surprise is an excellent reason to maintain a Zen approach that takes nothing for granted because, in the very next moment, everything you know could change completely. Surprise!

As our nation debates whether we should continue to kill Iraqis, as we take nuclear weapons out for a spin in case we want to kill someone else, and fight for resources at the now-exposed top of our globe, things seem as if they're dark and getting darker. Our strongest voices of protest often seem strangely weak and eerily half-hearted. It seems like we just want to play war games until our climate reaches its tipping point and clears its confused semi-sentient species from the planet's skin, in preparation for starting over perhaps a billion years from now. But never discount the element of surprise.

As long as we live, we can hope, and stay open to a few of those unorthodox ideas. Who knows where our next hero will come from? Who knew Derek Anderson could throw for five TD's?

Is The Surge Working?

2007-09-12T21:58:00.000-07:00

We waited breathlessly for General Petraeus' report, so we would know if The Surge was working. We'd been hearing about how well it was working from all the talking heads on tv, and we know Bush has been bragging about how we're "kicking a**". But there were whispers by those wuss Democrats that the White House might try to "cook the books" on The Surge figures. And then there's that pesky political progress thing, and all those benchmarks that weren't met.

But The Surge had worked, hadn't it? Wasn't violence down? Didn't we help the Sunnis beat back al-Qaeda in al-Anbar Province? Don't we have a Plan For Victory? General Petraeus is such a brilliant general, everyone says so, except for that terrible MoveOn.org. General Petraeus will tell us how it's all going to work.

Ok, enough of that. I was just trying to get into the head of the average dweeb, sitting down after a hard day's work to get a peek at the evening news. Actually, that was a fairly alert dweeb, wasn't it? Dweebs are hard to understand.

If you want to know the real story about The Surge, there's an excellent article at mediamatters.org called Myths and falsehoods about progress in Iraq. Of course, if you're of a conservative mindset, or maybe if you're a dweeb, you don't want to read some radical web site's opinions about the war. Actually, the article is a careful study of the information provided by General Petraeus and Ambassador Crocker, alongside the array of independent studies like the GAO and NIE reports, and other scattered pieces of information that just happen to be factual. Some of the lesser known facts, for instance: all the success in al-Anbar Province was essentially pre-Surge, and due to a change in strategy in that area completely unrelated to The Surge; and violence is down this summer because violence in Iraq has been down every summer for the last four years -- and, by the way, there's more violence this summer than there was last year. Just read the article and come back here.

Now that we have that out of the way, let's think beyond The Surge. Let's talk about the thing that's so rarely discussed. That's the advantage of blogs like this, that we can talk about what we want to, and not what sells pharmaceuticals. I want to write a little more about War.

I've offered my feelings about War before, in a blog on August 17th of this year titled Masters of War. I wrote that when the din of war drums beating for a battle with Iran got so loud I had to say something. I got a lot off my chest in that blog, and I linked to some of the most hideously gruesome videos of war images I've ever seen, and I don't ever need to see those images again. I still hear the incessant Boom! Boom! Boom! of those Iran war drums, and I still worry a lot about those nukes they decided to fly over our heads last week, and you'd think I'd have gotten it all out of my system on August 17th, and there's nothing more to be said.

I just can't get over how we talk about things, especially on television. So many of us can sit down to a discussion looking for all the world like rational people, and talk about war as if it were little more than an overseas venture for a global corporation. If that's what you think, go look at those videos in my Masters of War blog, because you deserve them. The way the people on American television can talk about war is all I need to know about how sick and demented we really are.

I know there are dangerous people out there; you don't have to tell me. There's a guy out there I swear I would kill with my bare hands if I could, just so you know. There really are times when you have to fight, but Iraq? Iran? These are the corporate wars, the resource wars, and to some it's even an excuse to revive The Crusades, God help us! Those aren't even wars, except for the mountains of dead, of course. They're enterprises.

If the media actually did its job, they would make us look at the terrible images of war. Our hearts went out to the young boy who lost his arms, and his family, to American bombs during Shock and Awe. But the cameras moved on after wrenching our hearts with the images of that child, and those moments of raw truth were rarely seen. For the most part, this has been an incredibly antiseptic conflict as far as we know here at home, so we can listen to those idiotic talking heads without punching the set, because it's not reality.

Is The Surge working? Why should I care? Why do we continue to deny the deeper truths, the real Zen of our existence, with such inauthentic dialogue? I can feel the core of my humanity shriveling when I hear such discussions, and by the way, I can feel your humanity shriveling right along with mine.

There was another hero a few years back, who took a page from that impractical dreamer Gandhi. His name was Martin Luther King, and he had this to say about violence in general back in 1958:

In my weekly remarks as president of the resistance committee, I stressed that the use of violence in our struggle would be both impractical and immoral. To meet hate with retaliatory hate would do nothing but intensify the existence of evil in the universe. Hate begets hate, violence begets violence; toughness begets a greater toughness. We must meet the forces of hate with the power of love; we must meet physical force with soul force. Our aim must never be to defeat or humiliate the white man, but to win his friendship and understanding.

Gandhi and King both believed that the goodness of the human species would prevail over the evil part of its nature. That they were both murdered for that belief leaves one to ponder. But they led two of the most inspiring, successful movements of the twentieth century, so there must be something there. It can't work all the time; everyone knows that. When I see Osama bin Laden, I have a visceral reaction that would make Gandhi gasp in horror. Those situations are crystal clear: Osama bin Laden, Hitler, you fight these people. But when you don't have to fight -- when you have to think about it, should I fight this person? -- then you need Gandhi and King, because they told us about what we can be.

I'm not sure how much Gandhi-like, King-like, courage I see today, but I liked Barack Obama's speech today about Iraq. How many more surges will we have to endure before we actually adopt a policy to "meet the forces of hate with the power of love"? Barack Obama may be growing into an effective spokesman for this kind of thinking.

I know everyone isn't going to love us, and I'm not going to love everybody, but we see what happens when our answer to everything is The Surge. We've seen there are other approaches that can work, and actually make sense in many -- no, most(!) -- situations, and it would be, of all things, the Christian thing to do.

We can keep surging, until our young men and women are chewed up by wars in one way or another, until we've piled up so much debt to fund the war machine we have nothing left to give, and we've generated so much distrust and hatred that our enemies outnumber us twenty-to-one. Or we can wake up, and ask ourselves how we can have such conversations in cold blood. We can swear that we've bombed our last infant, and surged our last surge, unless we truly have no choice. We can reach out our hand, fearful, uncertain, into the abyss that men like Gandhi and King must have seen yawning before them as they made that leap of faith.

A City upon a Hill

2007-09-09T16:08:00.000-07:00

Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.

-- Matthew 5:14 (Jesus' Sermon on the Mount)

For we must consider that we shall be as a city upon a hill. The eyes of all people are upon us. So that if we shall deal falsely with our God in this work we have undertaken...we shall be made a story and a by-word throughout the world. We shall open the mouths of enemies to speak evil of the ways of God...We shall shame the faces of many of God's worthy servants, and cause their prayers to be turned into curses upon us til we be consumed out of the good land whither we are going.

-- John Winthrop ("A Model of Christian Charity", sermon to the Massachusetts Bay Colony, 1630)

The metaphor of a city on a hill has resonated through the ages. It was a central theme for Ronald Reagan, and earlier, John F. Kennedy. Jesus told us we are the light of the world, and 1600 years later a small band of Puritans gathered in a new world to try and build that city. In that spirit, American pioneers joined together to form a system of government that has shone its light into all the dark regions of the world, and given hope where there was none. American democracy sparked a new era, and the men and women who comprised it gave birth to a unique vision that has become the American Spirit. Though a closer look at our history reveals many flaws, and a hodgepodge (if you will) of mixed nationalities more likely to mistreat America's true natives than to inspire them, the flavor of America was uniquely present in each of its citizens.

Today's conditions make me very concerned for our precious democracy. We have a government completely at odds with the will of the people, and seem strangely powerless to shift its course away from wars. The politicization of justice, warantless wiretapping, fear tactics, lies, and much more, do little to make our beacon shine more brightly. Author Naomi Wolf stepped away from her mainstream media career to examine the pattern of these changes in a historical context, and her book, The End of America, is a frightening look at what it may mean. In England's The Guardian, Wolf summarized the book in an article called Fascist America, in 10 Easy Steps. The article does a good job of explaining the "10 steps to close down democracy" described in the book with examples through history, and the chilling fact that all these steps have been already aggressively taken by Bush & Co.

I know it sounds like this is taking things too far, but without extrapolating conclusions as to what it all means, it's more than worthwhile to examine ourselves in the light of history, and especially compared to our city on the hill. We have been surrendering civil liberties at a very alarming rate, and hear nothing but lies and refusals to comment from the authorities in charge. It's not paranoia when you can prove it's actually happening.

Whether we're victims of an evil, nefarious plot, or simply unlucky enough to be ruled by incompetents, we have taken a turn down the hill, and the lights in our city appear to be fading, one by one. I think it's time for me to plead with you to turn back, and think about all we have lost, and may lose, as we descend.

We who reside on the land that stretches from ocean to ocean share the collective consciousness of the American Dream. There is no native birthright of race or creed, but a gathering together from every corner of our planet to see this light for ourselves, and hold it within our hearts. The Transmission of the Lamp of democracy is performed for all of us, a sacred trust to be passed to future generations. Other democracies exist, and hopefully, more will come into being, and they may be no better or worse than America's, but the special flavor, the individualism, the lofty dreams of American democracy are unique; once gone, it will never come again. Even if you think it's not in danger, don't you agree that its price is vigilance? If there is no anti-democratic intent, can we then retrace the steps we have taken in that direction?

Ronald Reagan spoke of the city in his 1984 Inaugural Address, and again in his farewell speech to the nation in 1989. But there was another part of that farewell address I found relevant, when he spoke of the essence of our democracy:

"We the people" tell the government what to do, it doesn't tell us. "We the people" are the driver, the government is the car. And we decide where it should go, and by what route, and how fast. Almost all the world's constitutions are documents in which governments tell the people what their privileges are. Our Constitution is a document in which "We the people" tell the government what it is allowed to do. "We the people" are free. This belief has been the underlying basis for everything I've tried to do these past eight years.

I had my differences with Ronald Reagan, and I'm not actually prepared to agree with him regarding his claims about his underlying motives. Ronald Reagan helped the rich before Bush did, and showed little understanding of other faiths and races, or real compassion for the less fortunate, during his lifetime. But the words themselves are notable, and convey my message as perfectly as I could hope. We tell the government what to do, it doesn't tell us. We say whether we should fight a war, or torture prisoners, or save a planet. We the people.

John F. Kennedy spoke in Massachusetts in 1961, not far from the bay where John Winthrop preached so long ago, as he prepared to depart for Washington to begin his presidency. He emphasized the city that "cannot be hid", as Jesus said, with the eyes of the world upon us to see how well we have honored our trust and shouldered the great responsibilities of our position. He reached much further back, as well, to Pericles who said "We do not imitate -- for we are a model to others."

So it is with America, that it's not enough to borrow and imitate the successful methods and programs of others; we must enlarge and revitalize them with American zeal. To achieve such a goal, Kennedy asked four questions we must answer if we can be equal to the task:

Are we courageous enough to face foes and, if need be, associates, when it is necessary for us to resist?

Do we have the judgment to face the future with understanding of the past, and to see, admit and correct our own mistakes?

Do we have the integrity to hold firm to principles without regard to ambition or financial gain?

Are we dedicated to the public good, without compromise to private obligation or aim?

Here is the recording of Kennedy's speech that day. It's in mp3 format, which is generally compatible, but bulky, and loads slowly. Let him speak to you for a moment across the years, and ask yourself what your personal answers would be to the questions he posed that day, and what you will do for that city upon a hill.

The Story So Far

2007-09-06T08:49:00.000-07:00

It's Thursday, September 6, 2007. Congress is back in session, reports are being produced on Iraq and The Surge, and over the next two weeks or so, there will be an overall accounting of the War on Terror as it exists in Iraq. The White House, and General Petraeus, will try to put a positive spin on things, of course, so before that happens, it might be useful to look back to the beginnings here, and do a quick replay of the Bush Presidency and what we've learned. My intention is to recount only the highlights of what is common knowledge, and would be pretty much the accepted version from both sides of the fence, if pressed. Some will disagree with my interpretation, and a list compiled by a solitary blogger is certainly subject to error, and a shortage of niceties that would have been added with greater available resources. But this is my blog, and this is how I see it.

Elections: The elections that have placed George Bush in the White House are still in serious question, with allegations of unfair activities in Florida and elsewhere. The 5-4 Supreme Court decision that gave Bush the Presidency in 2000 was passed over the shocked objections of the minority opinion, and the Presidential Caravan that drove Bush to the White House in January 2001 was the only one in American history ever to be egged.

Politicization: The politicization of work-a-day government machinery was soon to be witnessed, with a never-ending stream of appointments that favored loyalty much above compentency, and a flood of decisions and policy statements running counter to equal opportunity, labor interests, and environmental concerns.

Tax cuts for the wealthy: The great era of tax cuts for the wealthy began, and while the average American's tax savings were minimal at best, those on top of the money pile reaped huge dividends.

9/11: September 11, 2001 shocked the whole world, and traumatized America. We'll never be quite the same, but we have changed in many ways since then, perhaps not for better.

The hunt for Osama: Osama bin Laden was identified as the mastermind in the attacks, and the Bush Administration declared war not just on the al-Qaeda terrorists, but on all nations who harbor terrorists on their soil. Military operations were directed against the country of Afghanistan and its Taliban government we once supported against Soviet incursions. The Taliban were routed, but bin Laden escaped in the mountains of Tora Bora, as we outsourced our advancing forces to Pakistan, and left escape routes open to its porous borders.

Iraq: The War on Terror lost sight of Osama bin Laden, and turned all its attention to Iraq. The execrable dictator of that country saw his infamous history trumpeted in shocked and angry tones by both government and media, spurious ties between Hussein and the ideologically incompatible al-Qaeda were presented, and highly questionable, discredited intelligence was cited in the 2003 State of the Union address, and Colin Powell's presentation to the U.N., to manufacture a case for war. Despite its full compliance with United Nations inspection teams, Bush and his neocons ran out of patience, and Shock and Awe commenced on March 20 with scant international support, and over the U.N's objection. A few weeks later, on May 1, Bush landed on the USS Abraham Lincoln aircraft carrier and, beneath a huge banner that read "Mission Accomplished", declared that "major combat operations in Iraq have ended".

The Occupation: The occupation of Iraq began with far fewer troops than had originally been recommended by the generals, but those generals had been summarily dismissed. The chaos that followed in Baghdad and elsewhere ran unabated, with American forces completely outnumbered by looters and thieves who stripped, not only the palaces, but museums and libraries, dismantling in one month the collected heritage of millenia. The occupation continued in an orgy of incompetence, with untold billions unaccounted for, mass weapons stockpiles looted and sold, and corruption whistleblowers tortured and harassed. Any remaining societal structures within Iraq were disbanded, and the country fell into poverty, unemployment, and despair, left with little but the weapons they had looted in the confusion.

Torture: Extraordinary measures were taken to capture and detain a variety of suspects, and the instruments of torture began to be used in systemic fashion in detention facilities around the world. The ACLU has to date received more than 100,000 pages direct from the government relating to these activities, and much more can be presumed to exist. The general public was made aware through leaked sources that produced items like the photos from Abu Ghraib, and White House opinions have been rendered through such documents as Alberto Gonzales' description of Geneva Conventions as "quaint", and other defenders of the effectiveness of what is termed, in a revival of the old Nazi phrase, "enhanced interrogation". Despite overwhelming and definitive refutations of such practices in terms of effectiveness as well as humaneness, the practice continues, and stands on its own as a damning indictment of any claim by the United States to a moral high ground.

The 9/11 Commission: The 9/11 Commission study of the tragic attack on American soil was delayed, mismanaged, and underfunded. Controlled with an iron hand by Bush insider Philip Zelikow, the result was insultingly inadequate in its attempt to answer the haunting questions about that time. Even the Commission's most urgent recommendations for protecting America in the future were largely ignored until recently, when the 110th Congress addressed it with new legislation. Public opinion overwhelmingly favors renewed and extended review of these events, and unanswered questions continue to nag at the conscience of a troubled world.

Elections 2004: War on Terror policies continued to dominate American government, and the Politics of Fear was increasingly used to stifle dissent. Alternative views were derided as un-American, surveillance and wiretapping machineries far surpassed legal boundaries and safeguards, and threats of attack helped manipulate the voters in 2004 to retain the incumbent, along with the famous Swift Boat attacks and more highly questionable activities in key states such as Ohio. Ohio voting records in question appear now to have been almost entirely, illegally, destroyed.

Treason: While the blasted country of Iraq hurtled further into anarchy and decline, some of the voices of dissenters gained wider audience, and reviews of mistaken or managed intelligence darkened the horizon. The details of a leak that revealed the identity of covert CIA agent Valerie Plame Wilson was investigated, and disturbing ties were discovered that led to the Vice President's office. It was difficult to perceive what occurred as anything less than treason, with repercussions damaging to large undercover groups, their contacts, and extended families. Deaths may well have occurred as a consequence of this outing, but the outrage was nearly overwhelmed by a cacophony of specious arguments shouted out on talk shows and press conferences, and investigations were totally obstructed by misleading statements and outright lies. The sole convicted official could only be charged with lying, the truth being shrouded by those very words, but Scooter's sentence was commuted by George Bush.

Katrina: Through the shadows of wars, threats, and suffering, the natural world strained to make itself heard. Long ignored for its warnings of melting icecaps and failing species, it hurled huge tsunamis and hurricanes at the most helpless accretions of its sprawling two-legged infestation. In the waterlogged city of New Orleans, thousands were made homeless within hours, and many left unevacuated from danger died or survived to be stung by ill treatment and neglect. Many thousands of poor remain homeless, and the arrogant, callous ineptitude of the White House and FEMA served to cement bitter feelings against an uncaring administration.

Elections 2006: Massive policy failure at home and abroad, and mounting pressure from exposures of corruption and sexual predation within the Republican majority gave a boost to Democrats in the 2006 election, and new hope dawned for proponents of peace and justice. A tentative majority was won in both the House and Senate, and leadership for committees and agenda passed to Democratic control. Investigations were launched, and progressive legislation advanced, including initiatives designed to end the war. Some small gains have been made, and much has been revealed from the oversight hearings, but the war in Iraq has only intensified.

Oversight: Oversight hearings have sharpened the conflict between the protagonists, while Bush, Cheney, Gonzales et al. refused time and again to provide information, or even consent to questioning in many cases. Alberto Gonzales, who could not refuse, offered instead a humiliating comedy of lies, faulty memory, and transparent incompetence. He and others, including political machinist Karl Rove, have left the White House with their papers and private thoughts still unrevealed.

Corruption and Secrecy: Investigations have shown a panorama of politically-slanted treatment of purportedly independent arms of government, from scientific reports to elections to federal prosecutors, and more. Exposure of long-standing mistreatment of veteran health issues was compounded by its intolerable worsening beneath the strains caused by incoming floods of war-wounded, and an initially obtuse and uncaring response. Against concerns about federal wiretapping, details surfaced of seamy encounters like the late-night visit to Attorney General Ashcroft's hospital bedside by Alberto Gonzales and Andy Card. With obvious intent to cajole a heavily medicated official into signing unconstitutional surveillance approvals, they were thwarted by both Acting AG James Comey, and the ailing Ashcroft himself. To punctuate an atmosphere tilting towards the bizarre, Vice President Cheney positioned himself as external to any Executive Branch connections, and refused to comply with any Executive Branch obligations of his office.

Obstruction: The Democratic majorities in Congress have been routinely obstructed, filibustered, and stonewalled from any measures that would have a major impact. Unable to muster sufficient strength in its progressive leadership, America's prospects for peace in the near term are dim, and threats to expand the war still further into Iran, and possibly elsewhere, continue to mount. American civil liberties are further eroded by wholesale approvals for unchecked surveillance and executive authorities. American government proceeds unabated on multiple fronts disapproved of by a distinct majority of citizens.

The Road Ahead: Despite commanding a counterinsurgency with approximately one-third of the needed forces General Petraeus specified in his own counterinsurgency manual, and knowing that, even with sufficient manpower, the effort could easily require a decade or more to bear fruit, the General and the Bush Administration expect to continue existing policies in Iraq for the immediate future. Looming just over the horizon is the spectre of expanded military action into Iran, a direction so irrationally out of sync with the capabilities of an American military stretched so far beyond its current means that what would seem a majority of ranking officers outside Iraq have painted a bleak picture of troop health and readiness for even continuing the current pace, much less accelerating. With that conflation of inconsistencies and personal distresses, we're up to date.

Behind this disturbing history of our still-young 21st century in America is a clear picture of two elements locked in mortal combat. They are the same ones depicted on all the pages of Howard Zinn's great classic People's History, and that conflict will likely be fought for a long time to come. It is to the advantage of large corporate interests, the new landed gentry of our time, to manipulate people with wars and fear and propaganda. It is the people who work by the sweat of their brow, whether of conservative or permissive mindset, that struggle against them, whether or not they are fully aware. The secrecy, arrogance, and callousness of those elements now in power show they are not our friends, and they don't wish to be. They torture, kill and lie, and do all with seeming impunity. They are not my heroes, and I hope they are not yours. I cannot look at the beginning of this modern era and see it as a course that needs no correction, nor, I think, do you.

See it, finally, for what it is. See them, finally, for what they are. Don't be afraid, and look around you. Most of us just want to do what's right.

P.S. Any similarities between these words, and those spoken recently by Osama bin Laden in his newest video, are simply disgusting. We don't want or need your help, Osama. If you are guilty of the crimes with which you're charged (on this blog, everyone is innocent until proven guilty), the only thing I want to hear from you is a cry of pain. If that's not very Zen, or very Christian, ask me if I care.

Arrivederci Signore! Your voice was, and will remain, a thing of transcendent, heart-stopping triumph. You were a master of singing Zen.

Special Comment

2007-09-05T11:40:00.000-07:00

One of the things I like to do here is point to some of the best and most relevant items on the Internet. If someone says it better than me, why should I struggle? So, without further ado, here is the latest Special Comment by Keith Olbermann, offered while I continue to study, meditate, and ponder what I might contribute to help convince you of the seriousness of the moment, if this doesn't do it:

Quote For The Day

2007-09-04T09:51:00.000-07:00

“George Bush and Dick Cheney may have turned divisive, special interest politics into an art form, but it was there before they got to Washington. If you and I don’t stand up to challenge it, it will be there long after we leave.”

-- Barack Obama, at the Manchester, NH Labor Day Rally, September 3, 2007

God, Guns and Gays

2007-09-01T15:43:00.000-07:00

If we're going to learn how to work together in this country and draw support for peace and equality from the conservative heartland, it's important to look at some of the key issues that divide us. Repeatedly, the phrase "God, Guns and Gays" is used to define the things that really matter in Middle America. I was born in Middle America -- West Virginia, to be precise -- and I grew up in Appalachia, so I know the heartland. I was raised with these folks, and I've seen the good and the bad. I don't know for sure if I can speak to these issues, but here goes.

God

I was raised in a conservative Protestant church. My grandfather was the preacher, my grandmother taught the Bible School and Sunday School classes, my father was the Superintendant and taught my Sunday School class, my uncle was the Song Leader, and my aunt played the piano. I know Middle America Protestant churches, and I saw a whole lot of good in that church.

My grandfather was a very fine man. He was truly humble, and he had a lot of love. I can't speak for the never-ending stream of revivalists, but when my grandfather spoke from the pulpit, I learned about Jesus, and about love greater than self. I learned about caring for others, from his words, and from the countless visits he and my grandmother made to the sick, the troubled, or the unlucky. He was a flawed man, of course, and hardly a scholar, but he was completely genuine, in his way.

He was a conscientious objector in World War I, and served by running messages between foxholes on the front lines in France. He would often repeat his small repertoire of French phrases, always referring to potatoes as "pomme de terre". He started life as a tenant farmer, and earned money while preaching by working as a garage mechanic, and driving the school bus.

I suspect he voted Republican all his life.

The highlight of his life was a trip to the Holy Land, financed by our church. He took many slides, and wept unashamedly when showing them. His religion was pure, simple and certain. He died fairly suddenly, at 82, when pneumonia filled his lungs.

I believe he is in Heaven.

I cannot share my grandfather's simple faith. I have studied the religious literature of the world, and I believe that faith must come from something deeper than the worldly arguments that divide us. I believe in the honest depths of the souls of all men and women everywhere, and in a Jesus who feels the same way. I'm not sure Middle America will understand this in my lifetime.

I remember the missionaries who preached in my small-town church, with stories and slides of Africa and Polynesian islands, and natives turning to Christ. I remember the unambiguous clarity of their mission, as we saw it. This was only the love of Jesus reaching out in the world to save poor sinners who hadn't yet heard the Gospel. It was an Act of Grace.

These were not the same sort of people who now evangelize to the soldiers in Iraq and present every soldier with a Care package including the video game "Left Behind". The Kill or Convert message of that video game, and the book series that spawned the game, is certainly as complete a perversion of that original spirit as could be imagined. The good news is that the Pentagon has been contacted regarding this practice, and has stopped it. Never believe it doesn't do any good to raise a stir.

My little church in the 50's and 60's would have been aghast by such a game, I have no doubt. They would have stood up against such a practice, and condemned it. But they never knew about such things. I was far too young for the McCarthy era, for instance, but I don't feel it was ever part of the atmosphere, or I don't remember it. In our little church, we didn't know much, but we knew what we liked.

The children of those conservative Christians in my church are all around us today, and for the most part, they're as decent now as they were then. But there is a reluctance to align politically with those who promote more religious tolerance, and I understand that very well. Tolerance is all well and good, but Jesus is Lord, and any discussion is blasphemy. There must be an Absolute here, if nowhere else in the world, and compromise can't even be considered. It isn't religious extremism -- it's religion itself.

This may be the Gordian Knot of our society. It is the force that binds otherwise reasonable people to irrational acts. If we are truly tolerant, we sin against our beliefs, and before we can do that, we would gladly die. But when we reflect, we can see how much more tolerant we've become toward many faiths and sects, and be plainly shocked at our own changes over time.

In my grandfather, I saw a Christian faith that is the essence of what today's Christian wants to preserve, and I want to preserve it, too. If my grandfather were alive, I have no doubt I could talk to him, and make him understand. We would have found a way to uphold what mattered to both of us, working together.

I pray I find a way to speak to all those children out there who heard my grandfather while growing up, and told their own children about a gentle country preacher.

Guns

Guns weren't a major factor for me when I was growing up. We lived in a tiny suburbia on the banks of the Ohio river, on a small swatch of neatly-divided plots with modest houses, open lots that were our playgrounds, and a church on every other corner. We didn't lock our doors, and although guns were plentiful in hills and farms back away from the river, they were a rare sight for me.

I remember one time when my cousin and I were playing in our grandparents' house on that street, and we wandered up into the room of my uncle Bob. He was a young sheriff's deputy at the time, and I found his gun hidden back in his closet and brought it out proudly for us to play with. I don't remember exactly how old I was then, but I'm certain my age was still in single digits. My cousin was three years older, but not yet mature enough to respond protectively to this weapon, so I'd say I was awfully young.

I remember vividly the feel of the metal, and perhaps a mysterious sense of power, even of danger, but it was only a game. The gun wasn't loaded. We played with it a little, then put it away again. One of us must have snitched later, because I remember some commotion and warnings, and the gun was never seen again. But for a moment there was that potential for senseless tragedy at the hands of an innocent, and titanically oblivious, child.

The right to bear arms is in the Constitution. We can debate about what that means, and we can meditate soberly on the lessons of Virginia Tech and elsewhere, but I'm not prepared to go to the wall on the issue of guns alone. We have so much we need to fight for, and if some won't come along without their gun, then bring it with you. I hope we never need it, but who can say?

Gays
I refer you first to my last post, "Cartoon", on August 30.

Seriously, folks, it's not that bad. I was an actor for twenty years, and needless to say, I encountered quite a few people whose sexual orientation differed from the norm. For whatever reason, I remained staunchly heterosexual throughout. I just don't think I've ever, other than the polymorphously perverse stage of early puberty, had any leanings that way. I never felt threatened, or in danger of becoming "confused". I was the way I was, and they were the way they were. I'm not saying that to flaunt my prototypical male testosterone, but to remind you that homosexuals are not recruited.

I was listening to Thom Hartmann the other day on AirAmerica radio. He was talking with Baptist minister Rick Scarborough, and tried to remind the reverend that homosexual behavior was quite natural in the animal kingdom. This was news to Rev. Scarborough, apparently, and he reacted with shock and horror. I hate to break it to you, but it's true. The average person isn't very adept at observing animal behavior, but this is yet another area where the application of scientific research has much to tell us about ourselves.

The simple truth is that 5-10% of each species in the animal kingdom is gay. It's also true that the tendency to homosexuality is an inherited trait, and not a choice at all. If Christians want to say it's wrong, they're free to do so, but we're all going to have to understand that some of us are born different. Some skins have a different color, some men are more effeminate, and there are a lot of things we just can't help. We can argue as much as you like, but the bottom line is that people shouldn't be mistreated. Let's take that as a starting point. Beyond that, I would say that marriage is primarily a religious rite, and the question of who should marry may ultimately be a question for religion, not for politics.

Other Questions

There are many other differences beyond God, Guns and Gays, of course. Specifically, there is the question of abortion. I will say that I lack, by definition, the qualities necessary to speak with any authority on this topic, because I'm a man. I am personally appalled by abortion, but I don't want a vote in this matter. Women need to work this out for themselves.

I know that I have lived in a time when abortion clinics weren't always readily available, and there were just as many abortions then as now. An anti-abortion stance seems a lot like Prohibition, and making it illegal only drives it underground, and endangers not only the unborn child, but your pregnant daughter.

I would like to see the end of abortion, although I'm sure that's far from realistic. I would like to see widespread, effective birth control, planned parenthood, and responsible attitudes about sex and child-bearing. I know some of you don't like birth control, but on the abortion question, are we really so far apart?

There's so much more, of course. But I hope what I've provided here is a starting point for conversation between progressives and conservative Christians. I believe there's a lot we can build on, and I think it's become critically important for us to try. Because we've seen there is a wide chasm between word and deed in our nation's capitol, and a widening gap between what is truly in the best interests of both sides, and the policies being pursued in government.

For the current rulers of society, the operatives are certainly money and power, and I believe these folks have gone much too far. We need to seek out the good and decent in each of us, and have faith that after so much disappointment and betrayal from those we've trusted, those of us who spent our childhood in little churches around the country might meet up again one more time, after a lifetime spent going our separate ways, and reaffirm those values we still share.

Cartoon

2007-08-30T15:20:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, all you can do is laugh, like when you see Steve Bradenton's latest cartoon on BuzzFlash.com.

The Zen Of American Culture

2007-08-28T20:35:00.000-07:00

It's tempting to try and keep up with all the recent developments on this blog, but that's not the point here. I'm not a news source, or a political pundit. I want to stream my thoughts out onto the Internet, but without diluting the primary theme. I am trying to find the underlying Zen ground of being within the stream, and to communicate that in a way that's very personal to me. Over time, I will have a diary I can reference, and trace back along the paths I've travelled. It's open to you because I have spent a lifetime in art and technology, and I have the background to realistically aspire to a level of creative input in these offerings.

There are Zen lessons to be learned from the recent scandals and resignations, and I will be remiss if I don't weave them into these pages in the weeks to come. But it's useful on occasion to pause and reflect, and remind ourselves of our tiny place in the world at large. On the occasion of Blogger's 8th birthday, I regret that I've taken so long to access this forum.

Over the last 5 years, I might have (carefully) written about the process of developing software for Microsoft Windows Vista, which defined my existence until February of this year. If you're using Windows Vista now, at least every few minutes you're using something I've had a hand in writing. I apologize. I have never been a particular genius at writing software, but I loved everything about it for a very long time. It already seems long ago now. Technology will come into play here at some point, but I was also an actor for twenty years. Some of my friends (unnamed) have become famous, though I've lost touch with them, and the creative approach of the actor still informs all aspects of my life. I have also practiced Zen meditation, with varying degrees of commitment, for thirty-five years.

I was told by multiple doctors in August 2006 that my condition might allow only three to five more years. So, I've stopped working, and rededicated myself to zazen with considerable zeal. As I also used my newfound time to look more closely at our troubled society, this blog has become important as an outlet, an organizer, and hopefully, a creative effort of sorts. It has the benefit of being relatively free from any desire for personal gain, other than a wish to create something worthwhile, and a desperate hope for peace.

There is word of increasing interest in investigations regarding corruption in Iraq. I'm hoping those trails will lead to further knowledge about the torture of Donald Vance. For the moment, that is the overriding Zen of our American culture. But the saga of Larry Craig has a lot to say about us as well. Sexuality is just one aspect of what can become perverse when we emphasize what has become the conservative perspective. If we want to be truly life-affirming, we must see the life-denying impulses for what they are.