Surprises

Who would have imagined that Derek Anderson (who?) would resuscitate the long-comatose Cleveland Browns offense with 5 touchdown passes and 51 points? Here is a kid who lost a lackluster training camp competition to Charlie Frye, when both quarterbacks were simply vying to hold things together for 5 or 6 weeks until 1st-round draft pick Brady Quinn has had enough time to learn the offense. Not to mention that Frye, who won the competition, laid such a huge egg on opening day he was immediately traded to Seattle. But in comes unknown Derek Anderson, and tosses touchdowns all over the field. It's a complete surprise to me, and probably no small surprise to head coach Romeo Crennel.

That's the sort of thing that keeps me going. Life is really just one surprise after another. I just watched Deion "Prime Time" Sanders put on his most supercilious face (and he has several of them) to remind us all that no one takes the Cleveland Browns seriously. Well, Deion, life is full of surprises.

All the time I personally have been following the Cleveland Browns, there has definitely been an element of the whole classic rooting for the underdog. I was too young to follow Cleveland's early string of championships, and in the years when I played high school football and fell in love with the sport, the Browns fared very well, but the big teams of that era were the Packers and the Giants. When the Browns defeated the Baltimore Colts for the NFL Championship in 1964 -- before the Super Bowl -- they were a heavy underdog to the Colts and Johnny Unitas. Cleveland shut out Baltimore to win that title, 27-0. But Jimmy Brown retired soon after, and there were several down years. There were some exciting teams in the eighties, with the Cardiac Kids led by Brian Sipe, and the excellent Bernie Kosar-led teams of the late eighties who were always victimized by last-second heroics from John Elway and the Denver Broncos. The nineties saw the ignominious beginning of Bill Belichick's coaching career as he fielded Browns teams that were so bad they surely helped inspire Art Modell's infamous midnight theft of the football heart and soul of Cleveland for his well-heeled friends in Baltimore. Then, of course, there were the early expansion years, after the Browns were recreated in 1999. We don't talk about them.

Surprises don't always mean things are suddenly about to change for the better. Actually, Modell's move to Baltimore was a surprise, and a very unpleasant one, to be honest. But the potential for surprises keeps things lively, and can help to keep you from becoming a complete cynic about our chances for surviving all the challenges we face now. Just ask Derek Anderson and the Cleveland Browns. Or you could ask my old pal Howard Zinn:

I have tried hard to match my friends in their pessimism about the world (is it just my friends?), but I keep encountering people who, in spite of all the evidence of terrible things happening everywhere, give me hope. Especially young people, in whom the future rests. Wherever I go, I find such people. And beyond the handful of activists there seem to be hundreds, thousands, more who are open to unorthodox ideas. But they tend not to know of one another's existence, and so, while they persist, they do so with the desperate patience of Sisyphus endlessly pushing that boulder up the mountain. I try to tell each group that it is not alone, and that the very people who are disheartened by the absence of a national movement are themselves proof of the potential for such a movement.

The quote above is from Howard Zinn's short article The Optimism of Uncertainty, published in 2004 by The Nation. Zinn has always been fond of reminding us that some complete surprise is often just around the corner. One of my favorite chapters in the People's History of the United States is, in fact, called "Surprises". The ever-present possibility for surprise is an excellent reason to maintain a Zen approach that takes nothing for granted because, in the very next moment, everything you know could change completely. Surprise!

As our nation debates whether we should continue to kill Iraqis, as we take nuclear weapons out for a spin in case we want to kill someone else, and fight for resources at the now-exposed top of our globe, things seem as if they're dark and getting darker. Our strongest voices of protest often seem strangely weak and eerily half-hearted. It seems like we just want to play war games until our climate reaches its tipping point and clears its confused semi-sentient species from the planet's skin, in preparation for starting over perhaps a billion years from now. But never discount the element of surprise.

As long as we live, we can hope, and stay open to a few of those unorthodox ideas. Who knows where our next hero will come from? Who knew Derek Anderson could throw for five TD's?

Hodgepodge

I've been under the weather, but I wanted to try and mention a few things.

I've been taking some heavy 'roids for my condition, along with something I've never heard of called SMZ/TMP, which is short for some names you don't want to know. It's an anti-bacterial agent, and can give rise to a fascinating condition called porphyria. After reading up on porphyria, you really don't want to get that. It can take over the nervous system, causing abdominal pain, vomiting, hallucinations, seizures, paranoia, and arrhythmia, among other cool things. Best of all, the name derives from the Greek term for "purple pigment", which Wikipedia says is "likely to have been a reference to the purple discoloration of some body fluids in patients during an attack". Nice touch!

Well, porphyria sounds like fun, but I'll be a little surprised if that happens. It appears I have sufficient already to keep me occupied, and it helps to focus the mind. Let's just say I'd like to see this world point itself in a better direction sooner rather than later.

I feel like some of the lies that have informed our lives are beginning to lose their hold. The spell is breaking. That's a great reason for hope, but causation is complicated. For every action there's a reaction, and I've sensed our potential for violent reaction in the air. Let's bomb Iran. Let's jail the dissenters. Let's spy! We're still in a downward spiral, but at least we know it. We just need to have the courage to take over the controls and point the nose up.

How does consciousness change? A lot of people think Zen will change your consciousness, but I don't think that's what it's about at all. It just lets you appreciate the consciousness you have. As we watch the neoconservative weltanschauung meltdown slide down the drain with all our blood and treasure, perhaps we've blinked and awakened somewhat from our dreams of world conquest, and rediscovered some of the small, everyday blessings. Well, some may have blinked and looked around for someone to blame.

It's not a matter of blame. It's taking time to appreciate, taking time to feel. I know I've been absurdly fortunate. I wish all the reading and studying I've done in this life had really made me smart, but even so, I've been exposed to plenty, and it's had an effect. I want to emphasize how important I think it's been to have read so much of great literature, poetry and drama. As I study our politics and history, I've had a foundation grounded in exposure to the best of what makes us human, and was never likely to be swayed by limited, misanthropic views. Also, I was never rich, so that probably helped.

There are some who'll want to take the internet away, too. This is some serious freedom we have here on the internet, and it's now part of our consciousness. It's not perfect; it works a little like Wikipedia; but it's getting there. I know I've had advantages that have allowed me to refine some of my sensibilities (while slacking in other areas), and not everyone out there is quite ready to embrace his or her higher self. But things can change quickly. I want to see it happen.

If we can keep our powder dry and find some useful outlets for our less productive impulses, maybe we have a shot. I was pretty excited to see the debut of Brady Quinn, the Cleveland Browns' young quarterback, as he charged up his teammates for a couple of last-minute touchdowns over the weekend. I've always felt American football is one of the very best ways to manage our aggression; it's truly cathartic when you play, or at least have a team that's captured your heart.

Brady Quinn looks like a leader. Maybe he will be, maybe not, but for now it's exciting.

Maybe I should write something now about how we need some leaders. Maybe we do. But I wonder if we could just really appreciate the simple, everyday stuff, if we could just master the fundamentals, what we might accomplish.

The Browns

While keeping my ear to the ground listening to all the social and political rumblings, I suddenly heard dogs barking. Check that, Dawgs barking.

There's so much to be concerned about, but while we can still forget it all for a few hours watching the Cleveland Browns play football, I think we owe it to ourselves.

I'm listening to the game now on the hated NFL Field Pass, since the NFL keeps a chokehold on even internet radio broadcasts of its games. Ok, let's forget about corporate greed at least for now. Go Browns!

The Browns just kicked their 3rd field goal of the game to go up 9-7. Kansas City's only score was a freak, a pass from Charlie Frye to Jerome Harrison behind the line that was ruled a lateral, and the young Harrison forgot to protect the ball, allowing a Kansas City defender to pick it up and run 56 yards with the "fumble". Overall, the Browns have controlled the game, outgaining KC by a large margin and holding on to the football most of the game.

Still way too many dumb mistakes. Harrison needed to protect the football, Charlie Frye should never have tried to run at the end of the half with no timeouts, and there've been several other mental errors. But I'm pleased. Overall, Charlie Frye has looked good, and Derek Anderson didn't do badly, either. Ken Dorsey is quarterbacking now, so still no Brady Quinn. Whew, that's a lot of quarterbacks!

Kamerion Wimbley already has a sack. Jamal Lewis ran like a horse in a brief cameo, with 20 yards in 4 carries and 3 receptions, I believe.

They just showed KC's fumble return on the NFL network. It looked as stupid on TV as it sounded on the radio.

It sounded like Joe Thomas, the Browns' rookie left tackle, had a pretty good game, although he had at least two holding calls. His agility was noted by the radio announcers as he's been able to get outside to help the running game. Eric Wright, their rookie cornerback, kept things in front of him, and knocked away a long pass when he was tested deep.

There's been a pretty good feeling coming from the Browns announcers. Despite all the sloppiness and mental errors, it's a whole lot different when the Browns can control the clock. At least in the practice games, the Browns are more than holding their own, and depending on more than luck to win games. Things might be at least a little different this year.

Ok, so it's only the first exhibition game. So the players we'll actually be watching on Sundays averaged only 12-15 plays the whole night. I don't care. The Cleveland Browns have a very special place in my life. Nothing else matters to me when the Browns are playing. Dick Cheney can go bomb Iran while I'm watching the Browns. I'll worry about it later.

I played football in high school, but I was a small, slow guard/linebacker. I had no chance to continue playing in college, much less the pros. But when the regular season starts and the ball is kicked off for a Browns game, I devolve into a snarling, slobbering canine, shouting at the top of my lungs at the images playing across my tv screen. Don't talk to me during the Browns game. I'm not quite human.

As I said, there's a lot out there right now that's of great concern. It's difficult for me to predict the impact of all that's occurred lately on the political scene, and I'm meditating about it before committing my thoughts to the internet. But in the meantime, I hope all of you have something in your life that's just a little bit of mindless nonsense that you love passionately for no reason.

Stupid Dorsey got himself tackled in the end zone for a safety, so we're tied 9-9. Stupid Browns!